I'm sad VERY SAD!

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.

I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!

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[lizonaplane 1,613]

How long ago did you have surgery? If it's in the last month or so, what you're feeling is completely normal; many people have "buyer's remorse" after surgery. I sure did! I couldn't eat anything without pain and nothing tasted good for three months or so. By about 4 months out, I started to enjoy eating again. I can eat pretty much anything now at nine months out, though smaller portions. Which is exactly what I wanted. I could eat beef stew with rice (although, I'm not a fan of rice!). I just have to be careful not to eat junk food, which I can eat too much of too easily.

This is a very hard process and I recommend you meet with a bariatric therapist.

My family and I really enjoy going out to eat and trying new foods when we travel. We still do that, I just don't finish everything now. You will still be able to enjoy your husband's cooking. I think I appreciate food more now because I'm actually savoring it, not just inhaling it.

I think it will get better for you.

[ShoppGirl 5,073]

I agree with lizonaplane. If you are early out not only do you have remorse because of the recovery process but your hormones are often going haywire for several months. I was able to eat almost anything by 6 months out and I did on occasion have treats. You will just find that you don’t really have as much desire for the higher calorie foods and when you do eat them you are able to eat a much smaller portion.

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

How long ago did you have surgery? If it's in the last month or so, what you're feeling is completely normal; many people have "buyer's remorse" after surgery. I sure did! I couldn't eat anything without pain and nothing tasted good for three months or so. By about 4 months out, I started to enjoy eating again. I can eat pretty much anything now at nine months out, though smaller portions. Which is exactly what I wanted. I could eat beef stew with rice (although, I'm not a fan of rice!). I just have to be careful not to eat junk food, which I can eat too much of too easily.
This is a very hard process and I recommend you meet with a bariatric therapist.
My family and I really enjoy going out to eat and trying new foods when we travel. We still do that, I just don't finish everything now. You will still be able to enjoy your husband's cooking. I think I appreciate food more now because I'm actually savoring it, not just inhaling it.
I think it will get better for you.

Thank you ... I'm 6 days post op 263 to 254 before surgery 5'6 and now 252 scale not moving! Horrible intestinal issues too [emoji25]

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I agree with lizonaplane. If you are early out not only do you have remorse because of the recovery process but your hormones are often going haywire for several months. I was able to eat almost anything by 6 months out and I did on occasion have treats. You will just find that you don’t really have as much desire for the higher calorie foods and when you do eat them you are able to eat a much smaller portion.

Thanks for your support hard to see my way out just yet... nothing about this process has been stable or encouraging... nothing makes total sense right now but again THANKS YOU for your kinds words

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[Arabesque 7,613]

@lizonaplane & @ShoppGirl are correct. You’ve just had pretty major surgery, your hormones are out of whack, your digestive system has been altered, something you relied on to provide emotional support (food) has been taken away from you, … Give yourself time to heal & recover -physically, mentally & emotionally. And I’m going to say it: it does get better & easier.

The staged return to eating is to support the healing of your tummy. In a few weeks on soft foods you’ll be able to have some of that tender beef stew (just no rice unless it’s cauliflower rice). Yes, it will be a much smaller portion but you’ll be eating more slowly so your family will finish their serve about the same time you likely be finished too.

Think of all the new recipes you & your husband will be able to try or reinvent with alternative ingredients.

I also agree with @lizonaplane suggestion to meet with a therapist. Many bariatric patients swear by the support they received through therapy & how it helped change their relationship with food, how they see themselves, etc.

I still drink just not as often & not as much. I say I drink quality (like champagne not sparkling) not quantity now. I often go out to restaurants. French, Italian, Japanese, Greek, etc. fine dining, bistros, cafes. I’m just careful with my menu sections. And I’m not afraid to ask to take leftovers home even in fine dining restaurants (took home duck breast, duck rillette, parsnip purée & baby carrots the other night).

[elesir8 11]

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.
I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!
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Im 4 weeks out and questioning whether i should've done this, im experiencing pain when eating in soft phase so am reverting back to Soups for a few days but im also feeling like there is no end to this, ive gone back to work now and honestly that is helping as its moving my focus away from the surgery. I'm not suggesting you do that now as you n body need time to recover but try something like drawing or paint by numbers as distraction, i did needlework (cross stitch) and that really helped too

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[SleeverSk 635]

You will be fine, I was a mess after my surgery I was convinced I would NEVER eat or drink normally again. How wrong I was. It took me until the 4 month to finally start feeling better, I cried multiple times a day I couldn't go to work I was a mess. I beat myself up for having the surgery it was awful. Keep in mind your hormones are all over the place and you are most likely grieving your old way of eating and drinking and worried about the unknown.. I am here at 11 months out and I can tell you you will feel better, you will feel amazing when you are shopping for new clothes, can walk up a hill without feeling like you are not going to make it, paint your toes nails easily so many things to look forward too. AND you will be able to have that beef stew and a Martini 😆

[Recidivist 1,141]

I completely understand the part about enjoying meals with your husband. One of the ways my spouse showed love was through cooking elaborate, delicious meals (which is a big part of the reason I got so big in the first place). I thought that would be taken away from us and would be a source of friction, but three years later we can enjoy a lovely meal together--but my portions are much smaller now!

I will be honest--I had major regrets about having the surgery for the first four to six weeks. I know you said you don't want to hear it, but three years later I'm thrilled I did it, and my only regret is not having done it sooner.

[Strivingfor5K 20]

As someone who is 3-ish weeks out from surgery, I completely understand how you feel. I don’t have much of a desire to eat anything or drink anything, because everything gives me heartburn or indigestion. I’m really tired and I miss going out to drink with my friends. The only things I can keep down are Soup and ice pops. Even Water makes be feel a little ick sometimes. I used to be able to drink 64 oz. of water in like a half hour, and now I can barely get down 1/4 of that amount without feeling gross.
I’m going to be patient with myself and say that this takes time. But 4-6 months feels so far away. And when food is a basic thing you need to function, and something you relied heavily on, every day feels like it’s going at a snails pace.
I mean all of this to say that you aren’t alone in this. I know exactly how you feel.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,682]

On 6/13/2022 at 5:24 PM, ScaredButReady2.0 said:

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.

I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!

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Since you're so early out from surgery, I can tell you this is normal. Hormones are wacky because this is a MAJOR surgery. The first 2 weeks I couldn't drink very well at all. I was on an all liquid diet for 2 weeks post op and it really hurt to drink. But, and I know you don't want to hear this, but it got better. IT WILL GET BETTER. Once you get to the mushy stage, it'll be Heaven. I'm 6 weeks out, and I can eat normal foods. The trick for me, since I never lost my hunger hormone and don't have restriction, is to stick super close to my bariatric diet. But I can tell you, you will be able to eat normal foods again. Maybe not rice or breads or pasts (or if you do, extremely small amounts), but meats, veggies, etc will definitely be ok. You just gotta get there. I know it's hard, but the end results are so worth it. I've lost 33 pounds in 6 weeks (an average of 5 1/2 pounds per week). And I had a miserable 2 week stall where I actually gained 5 pounds. And since then, once the stall broke, I lost those 5 pounds plus more. So while it's tough right now, make sure you get in your Protein (shakes, protein Water, etc), and make sure you're walking everyday. It really will get better. It took 3 weeks before all of my pain went away, but now I can do whatever I want exercise wise, and I can eat what I want as long as I make sure A) I don't eat portions that are too big I don't graze throughout the day C) I only eat what my stomach can tolerate (lettuce is a no no for me), and D) I stick to 60-80g of protein a day, less than 50g of carbs a day, and less than 50g of fats per day. You'll get there, and you'll look back on how you feel right now and really feel proud of yourself for how far you've come.

[SleeverSk 635]

1 hour ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

Since you're so early out from surgery, I can tell you this is normal. Hormones are wacky because this is a MAJOR surgery. The first 2 weeks I couldn't drink very well at all. I was on an all liquid diet for 2 weeks post op and it really hurt to drink. But, and I know you don't want to hear this, but it got better. IT WILL GET BETTER. Once you get to the mushy stage, it'll be Heaven. I'm 6 weeks out, and I can eat normal foods. The trick for me, since I never lost my hunger hormone and don't have restriction, is to stick super close to my bariatric diet. But I can tell you, you will be able to eat normal foods again. Maybe not rice or breads or pasts (or if you do, extremely small amounts), but meats, veggies, etc will definitely be ok. You just gotta get there. I know it's hard, but the end results are so worth it. I've lost 33 pounds in 6 weeks (an average of 5 1/2 pounds per week). And I had a miserable 2 week stall where I actually gained 5 pounds. And since then, once the stall broke, I lost those 5 pounds plus more. So while it's tough right now, make sure you get in your Protein (shakes, Protein Water, etc), and make sure you're walking everyday. It really will get better. It took 3 weeks before all of my pain went away, but now I can do whatever I want exercise wise, and I can eat what I want as long as I make sure A) I don't eat portions that are too big I don't graze throughout the day C) I only eat what my stomach can tolerate (lettuce is a no no for me), and D) I stick to 60-80g of protein a day, less than 50g of carbs a day, and less than 50g of fats per day. You'll get there, and you'll look back on how you feel right now and really feel proud of yourself for how far you've come.

Sleevediva you too should be incredibly proud of how far you have come in such a short space of time.

I want to share what I have finally realised after months of saying I have no restriction, I am still getting hungry.

My full feeling is no longer the same feeling it was before surgery at this point it's hard for me to describe how it feels as it can change from day to day sometimes it's just a " I don't feel like eating any more of that". It certainly isn't the hard stop eating or you will explode feeling I thought it would be. Most times it's very subtle and the further away from surgery I am the more subtle it seems to be. Now hunger omg I can get this "my stomach is an empty pit" feeling while I am eating and directly after eating it was the worst, this was happening almost every meal at one point it also happened to my surgery buddy we discovered that if we had a small drink before eating (10 mins ) and a few small sips after eating this helped. we then tried to drink more during the day this also helped so we figured this feeling was thirst related. Head hunger is the hardest to over come my head hunger is triggered by time, you know look at the clock oh its lunchtime and the obvious see something yummy and want it. So now I stop and think does my stomach need food or is it just my head. Most times it's my head my true hungry stomach feeling is a weird growly feeling and if I am honest I eat before I feel real physical hunger most times.

Snacking/ grazing is something that is getting harder to get a hold of as it gets easy to eat and drink food so much easier. 😫.

Anyway my point is our full and hungry cues after surgery can be very different to what they were pre surgery we just have to work out what they are for our bodies. I hope this helps.

[brookfoster 1]

I had mine May 17th and my hormones have been all over the place. I know exactly how you feel. It’s normal to feel upset and have mixed feelings. A friend of mine that had it told me it happened to her and I would feel that way as well. She was certainly right. It’s a huge adjustment. Give yourself some time. Does your Bariatric Team have support meetings? I know I’m planning on attending some myself. You hang in there. I will certainly be glad to talk to you if you need anything.

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

[mention=397017]lizonaplane[/mention] & [mention=396684]ShoppGirl[/mention] are correct. You’ve just had pretty major surgery, your hormones are out of whack, your digestive system has been altered, something you relied on to provide emotional support (food) has been taken away from you, … Give yourself time to heal & recover -physically, mentally & emotionally. And I’m going to say it: it does get better & easier.
The staged return to eating is to support the healing of your tummy. In a few weeks on soft foods you’ll be able to have some of that tender beef stew (just no rice unless it’s cauliflower rice). Yes, it will be a much smaller portion but you’ll be eating more slowly so your family will finish their serve about the same time you likely be finished too.
Think of all the new recipes you & your husband will be able to try or reinvent with alternative ingredients.
I also agree with [mention=397017]lizonaplane[/mention] suggestion to meet with a therapist. Many bariatric patients swear by the support they received through therapy & how it helped change their relationship with food, how they see themselves, etc.
I still drink just not as often & not as much. I say I drink quality (like champagne not sparkling) not quantity now. I often go out to restaurants. French, Italian, Japanese, Greek, etc. fine dining, bistros, cafes. I’m just careful with my menu sections. And I’m not afraid to ask to take leftovers home even in fine dining restaurants (took home duck breast, duck rillette, parsnip purée & baby carrots the other night).

Very very uplifting message thank you so very much for taking the time to write this. It's touch and go for me I tried my hardest for last 2 days not to cry, so willing myself to stay strong. It's not even about the food for me... but it's about the food of that makes any sense.

Thank you

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

Im 4 weeks out and questioning whether i should've done this, im experiencing pain when eating in soft phase so am reverting back to Soups for a few days but im also feeling like there is no end to this, ive gone back to work now and honestly that is helping as its moving my focus away from the surgery. I'm not suggesting you do that now as you n body need time to recover but try something like drawing or paint by numbers as distraction, i did needlework (cross stitch) and that really helped too

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Elesir8 you are so right! I do need a distraction. Not sure it's work for me , I'm highly successful a day I hate my job most days. So coloring sounds like a great suggestion.

Thank you so very much

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