I'm sad VERY SAD!

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

You will be fine, I was a mess after my surgery I was convinced I would NEVER eat or drink normally again. How wrong I was. It took me until the 4 month to finally start feeling better, I cried multiple times a day I couldn't go to work I was a mess. I beat myself up for having the surgery it was awful. Keep in mind your hormones are all over the place and you are most likely grieving your old way of eating and drinking and worried about the unknown.. I am here at 11 months out and I can tell you you will feel better, you will feel amazing when you are shopping for new clothes, can walk up a hill without feeling like you are not going to make it, paint your toes nails easily so many things to look forward too. AND you will be able to have that beef stew and a Martini [emoji38]

Lol thank you for this!

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I had mine May 17th and my hormones have been all over the place. I know exactly how you feel. It’s normal to feel upset and have mixed feelings. A friend of mine that had it told me it happened to her and I would feel that way as well. She was certainly right. It’s a huge adjustment. Give yourself some time. Does your Bariatric Team have support meetings? I know I’m planning on attending some myself. You hang in there. I will certainly be glad to talk to you if you need anything.

Thank you soooo very much, yes they do actually. I was going to make an appointment for a session as well. [emoji847][emoji120] you all are a blessing

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

Sleevediva you too should be incredibly proud of how far you have come in such a short space of time.
I want to share what I have finally realised after months of saying I have no restriction, I am still getting hungry.
My full feeling is no longer the same feeling it was before surgery at this point it's hard for me to describe how it feels as it can change from day to day sometimes it's just a " I don't feel like eating any more of that". It certainly isn't the hard stop eating or you will explode feeling I thought it would be. Most times it's very subtle and the further away from surgery I am the more subtle it seems to be. Now hunger omg I can get this "my stomach is an empty pit" feeling while I am eating and directly after eating it was the worst, this was happening almost every meal at one point it also happened to my surgery buddy we discovered that if we had a small drink before eating (10 mins ) and a few small sips after eating this helped. we then tried to drink more during the day this also helped so we figured this feeling was thirst related. Head hunger is the hardest to over come my head hunger is triggered by time, you know look at the clock oh its lunchtime and the obvious see something yummy and want it. So now I stop and think does my stomach need food or is it just my head. Most times it's my head my true hungry stomach feeling is a weird growly feeling and if I am honest I eat before I feel real physical hunger most times.
Snacking/ grazing is something that is getting harder to get a hold of as it gets easy to eat and drink food so much easier. [emoji31].
Anyway my point is our full and hungry cues after surgery can be very different to what they were pre surgery we just have to work out what they are for our bodies. I hope this helps.

You are a blessing for taking the time to be so descriptive and it is extremely HELPFUL! Thank you do very much truly! [emoji120][emoji120]

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

Since you're so early out from surgery, I can tell you this is normal. Hormones are wacky because this is a MAJOR surgery. The first 2 weeks I couldn't drink very well at all. I was on an all liquid diet for 2 weeks post op and it really hurt to drink. But, and I know you don't want to hear this, but it got better. IT WILL GET BETTER. Once you get to the mushy stage, it'll be Heaven. I'm 6 weeks out, and I can eat normal foods. The trick for me, since I never lost my hunger hormone and don't have restriction, is to stick super close to my bariatric diet. But I can tell you, you will be able to eat normal foods again. Maybe not rice or breads or pasts (or if you do, extremely small amounts), but meats, veggies, etc will definitely be ok. You just gotta get there. I know it's hard, but the end results are so worth it. I've lost 33 pounds in 6 weeks (an average of 5 1/2 pounds per week). And I had a miserable 2 week stall where I actually gained 5 pounds. And since then, once the stall broke, I lost those 5 pounds plus more. So while it's tough right now, make sure you get in your Protein (shakes, protein Water, etc), and make sure you're walking everyday. It really will get better. It took 3 weeks before all of my pain went away, but now I can do whatever I want exercise wise, and I can eat what I want as long as I make sure A) I don't eat portions that are too big I don't graze throughout the day C) I only eat what my stomach can tolerate (lettuce is a no no for me), and D) I stick to 60-80g of protein a day, less than 50g of carbs a day, and less than 50g of fats per day. You'll get there, and you'll look back on how you feel right now and really feel proud of yourself for how far you've come.

Thank you so very much for breaking it down like you have for me I appreciate it! Alot [emoji120][emoji120]

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I completely understand the part about enjoying meals with your husband. One of the ways my spouse showed love was through cooking elaborate, delicious meals (which is a big part of the reason I got so big in the first place). I thought that would be taken away from us and would be a source of friction, but three years later we can enjoy a lovely meal together--but my portions are much smaller now!
I will be honest--I had major regrets about having the surgery for the first four to six weeks. I know you said you don't want to hear it, but three years later I'm thrilled I did it, and my only regret is not having done it sooner.

Thank you for that! I appreciate you taking the time to write something that is very helpful to me. Thank you

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[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

As someone who is 3-ish weeks out from surgery, I completely understand how you feel. I don’t have much of a desire to eat anything or drink anything, because everything gives me heartburn or indigestion. I’m really tired and I miss going out to drink with my friends. The only things I can keep down are Soup and ice pops. Even Water makes be feel a little ick sometimes. I used to be able to drink 64 oz. of water in like a half hour, and now I can barely get down 1/4 of that amount without feeling gross.
I’m going to be patient with myself and say that this takes time. But 4-6 months feels so far away. And when food is a basic thing you need to function, and something you relied heavily on, every day feels like it’s going at a snails pace.
I mean all of this to say that you aren’t alone in this. I know exactly how you feel.

Yes!!!! You completely understand not to mention the emotional transformation that's occurring in tandem! This **** is difficult! Thank you for writing to me you and everyone else on here has helped me immensely!!! I appreciate you more than you will ever know [emoji120]

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[Ellie64 16]

I promise it will get better.
I’m 3 . 5 years post op and I eat pretty much whatever I want , just much smaller amounts . I do watch my sugar and carbs intake , I do eat them but only tiny amounts .
I still enjoy going out to eat with my husband and I still love cooking .
Thankfully I have maintained a steady 105 pound weight loss.
Good luck and keep your chin up .
You will come out of this phase soon , honestly.
Try to find a new hobby as soon as you’re up to it .
I discovered spin class 4 times a week and it helps me so much with my mental attitude , and allows the indulgences once in a while

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I promise it will get better.
I’m 3 . 5 years post op and I eat pretty much whatever I want , just much smaller amounts . I do watch my sugar and carbs intake , I do eat them but only tiny amounts .
I still enjoy going out to eat with my husband and I still love cooking .
Thankfully I have maintained a steady 105 pound weight loss.
Good luck and keep your chin up .
You will come out of this phase soon , honestly.
Try to find a new hobby as soon as you’re up to it .
I discovered spin class 4 times a week and it helps me so much with my mental attitude , and allows the indulgences once in a while

Thank you

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[Elias_bou 0]

On 06/14/2022 at 02:24, ScaredButReady2.0 said:

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.

I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!

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Just focus on the result, you will be able to breathe easily, sit in any chair without thinking if it breaks or no,easily find clothes, lower risk of health problems, no fatigue, sit up and move easily,
I am one week post op and thinking this way is what’s helping me

[Hesitant but hopeful 7]

On 6/13/2022 at 6:24 PM, ScaredButReady2.0 said:

I am very sad, I can't drink anything without feeling pain. I miss eating a full meal with my family. I don't want to hear I will be better for it, I don't want to hear I'll be happy in the end!!! My Husband and me bond over his cooking (he is an amazing cook) and how great it taste and a Martini or 3 almost every night. He is athletic BTW! All the people I told about this surgery said why are you doing this, you're beautiful, you're not that big! I spent most of my life feeling like an IMPOSTOR in my skin. I feel beautiful some days and some days I felt just unattractive and honestly FAT! I could never say that out loud before.

I am depressed alot but I'm functional and the one thing I could control whether happy or sad was what I wanted to eat! Now I don't even have that anymore. It's been replaced by emptiness, unsatisfactory feeling, pain, and loneliness. God I want that beef stew and white rice it smells amazing and probably tastes 100 times better than that. Instead I have to settle FOR MASSIVE Indegestion and 30 MLs of emptiness! I ABSOLUTELY REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!!

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Hang in there and have hope!! Talk to some one!

[SuziDavis 546]

How are you doing now? I hope you're better!

[Tony B - NJ 642]

I think we all have this reaction after the first few weeks. I was not really comfortable with eating and drinking for over six months. I recently took a trip to Cancun and was able to eat when I wanted and drink what I wanted. The drinking has gotten infinitely better after 10 months or so post surgery. I can pretty much drink however much I want. I usually nurse a drink before and during the meal and hold off about 30 minutes after but I was able to maintain my buzz all day/every day in Mexico. Sometimes I wish I could really indulge in food but it is not worth the pain and the guilt. I also like being a size 34 waist vice a 48 or 50. There are some foods that I can splurge on like popcorn, nuts, tortilla chips etc from time to time when I get the munchies but it is very rare that I will do that. Since it is summertime, I have been eating a LOT of watermelon which gives me the hydration I need and a nice sweet, low calorie snack.

Things get much, much better....hang in there.

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

How are you doing now? I hope you're better!

I am doing a bit better than before ... today was not a very good day... not making very healthy food choices and still feel like I'm starving! My Husband drinks heavy so I've fell back into drinking because I can eat. He can't fix my mood so he drinks and I hate when he drinks and I can't eat food so I drink. I need therapy but I also don't feel it will work so here I am .

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[LookingForward22 320]

On 08/12/2022 at 21:00, ScaredButReady2.0 said:

I am doing a bit better than before ... today was not a very good day... not making very healthy food choices and still feel like I'm starving! My Husband drinks heavy so I've fell back into drinking because I can eat. He can't fix my mood so he drinks and I hate when he drinks and I can't eat food so I drink. I need therapy but I also don't feel it will work so here I am .

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I’m glad to hear you are doing better but sorry you are still struggling.

I’m working closely with a therapist (for years now) … since my accident, and talking through my decision to take this step (surgery … I’m scheduled for next Tuesday). I also see a separate therapist with my husband.

There are days I feel like both are a waste of time, but usually I feel like it helps and I even look forward to it sometimes. Even sessions when I don’t think are really head on dealing with “things”… usually end up lightening my load and making everything easier to deal with until my next session.

My best therapy advice is find someone you connect with and you enjoy talking to. Sometimes you need to go through more than one, and that’s ok. When you find the right person - it will make all the difference in the world.

Thankfully my therapist is experienced with bariatric / weight loss issues. If he wasn’t, I would reach out to my bariatric program (they have a great therapist in house) or if I wasn’t comfortable with their person, I’d ask them for a referral.

I hope things continue to get better.

[ScaredButReady2.0 19]

I’m glad to hear you are doing better but sorry you are still struggling.

I’m working closely with a therapist (for years now) … since my accident, and talking through my decision to take this step (surgery … I’m scheduled for next Tuesday). I also see a separate therapist with my husband.

There are days I feel like both are a waste of time, but usually I feel like it helps and I even look forward to it sometimes. Even sessions when I don’t think are really head on dealing with “things”… usually end up lightening my load and making everything easier to deal with until my next session.

My best therapy advice is find someone you connect with and you enjoy talking to. Sometimes you need to go through more than one, and that’s ok. When you find the right person - it will make all the difference in the world.

Thankfully my therapist is experienced with bariatric / weight loss issues. If he wasn’t, I would reach out to my bariatric program (they have a great therapist in house) or if I wasn’t comfortable with their person, I’d ask them for a referral.

I hope things continue to get better.

Thank you so much for this my journey is very lonely eventhough I have alot of people in my life. No one understands and My husband is making everything about him. I literally had my sisters force a desert on me the other day because they couldn't understand how I could be full. It's excruciating some days. Bur thank u it nice to have everyone's support

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