Do you ever "forget" you had surgery?

[lizonaplane 1,612]

I had surgery 8 months ago, and I think about it probably every hour or two still, which isn't really what I was expecting. I was hoping that it would become "second nature" and I would just be eating less and feeling great. I am eating less, but I am uncomfortable after every meal: If I eat so little that I'm not uncomfortable, then I'm super hungry in 20 minutes. I only stay "full" (not HUNGRY) if I am stuffed after I eat.

There are some good ways in which I can't forget I had surgery: I every time I see myself in a mirror (Like in the bathroom) I realize how much smaller I am, and every time I get dressed I think my clothes are so small they can't possibly fit. Also, I can walk faster and I fit in plane seats better.

But I'm always cold, so it's hard to forget when I'm freezing all the time.

I know that part of it is that I'm always on these message boards and support groups, but I was hoping to feel more comfortable and "used to" having had surgery. Is anyone who is a few years out NOT thinking about surgery every few hours?

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

I had surgery 14 months ago and I do forget about the actual surgery part but not about the fact that I am watching my weight still. I don’t think I will ever be able to forget that because if I do I will gain. If the two of those things are intertwined for you you may not ever really forget all about it either.

[Tony B - NJ 642]

I don't think I will ever forget about having the surgery. I like you get uncomfortable after eating if I eat even slightly too much food. I guess this is something I have to live with but the alternative is that I could have not had the surgery and still been carrying an extra 100 pounds of body weight on me. I understand it is a life change and if I have to feel a little uncomfortable after over eating, then I will be more careful about how much I eat. I find that like you I don't get full for very long and end up grazing on some Snacks later. I find this an issue in the evening. I try to keep some nuts and fruits around or some diet friendly chips like Snacklins around (yucca based chips, less than 100 calories per bag) to help with the hunger without killing my calorie intake.

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

I bet the reason that I am able to forget about it more than the two of you is because my restriction doesn’t kick in unless I eat more than I should so I am acting more like I am just on a diet restricting my portions myself with the added bonus of still slightly decreased hunger hormones.

[ms.sss 15,581]

1 hour ago, lizonaplane said:

Is anyone who is a few years out NOT thinking about surgery every few hours?

All the time.

But honestly, i forgot about having “the surgery” not much after i stopped feeling the surgery recovery pains.

After losing a bunch or weight and no longer hating food (around 3 months post), it just sort of became a new normal, you know?

But at the same time, I will always identify as a WLS patient, its just not forefront in the mind.

Time (and repetition) changes what is normal.

Im not sure if i made any sense with all that, but it’s the best i can do and it makes sense to me, lol.

[lizonaplane 1,612]

7 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

All the time.

But honestly, i forgot about having “the surgery” not much after i stopped feeling the surgery recovery pains.

After losing a bunch or weight and no longer hating food (around 3 months post), it just sort of became a new normal, you know?

But at the same time, I will always identify as a WLS patient, its just not forefront in the mind.

Time (and repetition) changes what is normal.

Im not sure if i made any sense with all that, but it’s the best i can do and it makes sense to me, lol.

So, you don't feel pain when you eat anymore? How can I do that?

[The Greater Fool 2,024]

When I'm hungry I eat. I eat to my plan which became my normal way of eating by about 6 months post-op. I eat my meals but rarely until I am full. Full is not comfortable so I try not to get there. The content of my meals are as they were 6 months post-op, but it's not as if I measure anything. I don't count calories or grams. I haven't done so since about 3 months post-op.

All my choices and habits were built because of Gastric Bypass 18+ years ago, but it's the habits I pay attention to now, not the surgery then.

When I am full it's because I am full. This is how full feels. I eat what and how I eat because it's what and how I eat.

Ask a Non-op why they eat the way they do now. Ask them how full feels. Does it hurt? It's the way it is.

For me the question was "Does eating ever feel normal again?" Yes. A new normal, but yes.

Good luck,

Tek

[lizonaplane 1,612]

Just now, The Greater Fool said:

When I'm hungry I eat. I eat to my plan which became my normal way of eating by about 6 months post-op. I eat my meals but rarely until I am full. Full is not comfortable so I try not to get there. The content of my meals are as they were 6 months post-op, but it's not as if I measure anything. I don't count calories or grams. I haven't done so since about 3 months post-op.

All my choices and habits were built because of Gastric Bypass 18+ years ago, but it's the habits I pay attention to now, not the surgery then.

When I am full it's because I am full. This is how full feels. I eat what and how I eat because it's what and how I eat.

Ask a Non-op why they eat the way they do now. Ask them how full feels. Does it hurt? It's the way it is.

For me the question was "Does eating ever feel normal again?" Yes. A new normal, but yes.

Good luck,

Tek

But I feel hungry within 20 minutes unless I eat to "uncomfortable". I don't mean "head hungry" I mean ravenous, I would eat anything. So, I'm always either too full or too hungry after a meal. And I can't eat salad anymore, which used to be one of my favorites. The only things that don't hurt are ground meat and cheese.

[ms.sss 15,581]

40 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

So, you don't feel pain when you eat anymore? How can I do that?

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I will feel pain if i overeat (which I rarely do now). I guess im just saying i’ve been on auto-pilot for so long that it just feels like normal every day living.

Kinda like when I hurt my shoulder, I stopped using it a certain way, and now it just how i use my shoulder, and no longer “i don’t do this or that because i have an injured shoulder”. Does that make sense?

Its just a state or mind or how i look at things I guess. Essentially its the same situation, i just employ a different perspective. Which makes a difference.

Edited May 10, 2022 by ms.sss

[ms.sss 15,581]

8 minutes ago, The Greater Fool said:

All my choices and habits were built because of Gastric Bypass 18+ years ago, but it's the habits I pay attention to now, not the surgery then.
< … >

For me the question was "Does eating ever feel normal again?" Yes. A new normal, but yes.



+1000

EXACTLY.

[The Greater Fool 2,024]

1 minute ago, lizonaplane said:

But I feel hungry within 20 minutes unless I eat to "uncomfortable". I don't mean "head hungry" I mean ravenous, I would eat anything. So, I'm always either too full or too hungry after a meal. And I can't eat salad anymore, which used to be one of my favorites. The only things that don't hurt are ground meat and cheese.

I'm sorry you are having difficulty.

It may take a bit more time to settle into a workable routine. You are still a bit new at this thing. Hang in there.

Good luck,

Tek

[ms.sss 15,581]

34 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

But I feel hungry within 20 minutes unless I eat to "uncomfortable". I don't mean "head hungry" I mean ravenous, I would eat anything. So, I'm always either too full or too hungry after a meal. And I can't eat salad anymore, which used to be one of my favorites. The only things that don't hurt are ground meat and cheese.

Ok, the way i see it, given your current situation, you have two choices:

1) eat to uncomfortable so you can postpone the feelings of hunger a little longer;

OR

2) eat to comfort and then have to eat again a little sooner to address the hunger.

Which is worse? Feeling uncomfortable due to fullness, or feeling hungry? Which lasts longer? Which makes you feel worse about yourself?

Now pick the lesser of the two evils.

For now .

(cuz nothing is forever!)

It may sound simplistic and an over-generalization, but i think the source of many of our angsts is the constant Quest to get back to feeling or being how we were pre-op. Just a thought.

P.S. If meat and cheese are the only things that are agreeable, so be it (at least its not chips and chocolate!…small victories, i guess!). You’ll find a groove eventually, i’m willing to bet. If its any consolation, i’ve read many of your posts and you seem to have a good enough handle on things that I don’t doubt it.

Good Luck! ❤️

Edited May 10, 2022 by ms.sss

[Tony B - NJ 642]

That is what I do. I eat and then eat a little something later to deal with the hunger. I find little Snacks that are sensible really help a lot between larger meals. And...of course...water first to make sure it is just not thirst.

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

Kinda in line with what Ms.sss suggested, when I was early out I needed Fiber as many of us do and I wanted to get it from food to get off the supplements. I would eat My Protein for dinner and veggies as a snack. Perhaps if you ate a slightly lighter dinner and then ate a veggie a little while later?? Would that make you feel full without feeling discomfort?? I know it’s not ideal but neither is being in pain daily. I guess I would run it by my team first because it could be close to grazing to eat just an hour or so later but maybe given the way your body is responding something out of the normal is what is needed?

[lizonaplane 1,612]

30 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

Kinda in line with what Ms.sss suggested, when I was early out I needed Fiber as many of us do and I wanted to get it from food to get off the supplements. I would eat My Protein for dinner and veggies as a snack. Perhaps if you ate a slightly lighter dinner and then ate a veggie a little while later?? Would that make you feel full without feeling discomfort?? I know it’s not ideal but neither is being in pain daily. I guess I would run it by my team first because it could be close to grazing to eat just an hour or so later but maybe given the way your body is responding something out of the normal is what is needed?

Actually, because I was dealing with a lot of hunger, my surgical center said it would be okay for me to eat plain, non-starchy veggies between meals, but because of my travel (and also my dental issues!) I have had a lot of trouble doing that.

It's been drilled into me so well not to graze, so I think I've just been eating a lot at meals (Not A LOT, just ... maybe 3 oz of meat, 3 oz of veg, but it still hurts, especially fruit and salad, which I love). I am going to try to slow down some more, see if that helps.

The other thing I'm struggling with is how nauseous I get from my Multivitamin. I would say about once a fortnight I will actually throw up. I've tried three different brands, and the best I've found is to take it with a heavy snack before bed. This week it's been low sugar trail mix, which I never ate before surgery, but seems to work well for me now.