Absolutely hate myself now

[rmp09 11]

It seems that I am literally the only one who 100%completely regrets this surgery. I have never hated myself this much in my life. I was so obsessed with this weight loss crap for 3 yrs and now 6 weeks healed from VSG and I hate life completely now. I will never be or feel like myself again and feel I don't deserve anything good ever again. This was the worst decision of my life and I keep having ptsd flashbacks of wishing I had never done this..that I canceled when I had the chance. Why am I the only one who fully regrets this.. I can't be the only one in the world who regrets it completely...

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[liveaboard15 1,293]

I remember your first post saying the same thing and you never really explained why you feel this way. Is it because you cant eat like you use to? I mean i had surgery last month. I partly regret it. Because food was so enjoyable and was a big part of my daily life. I would wake up and first thing i thought of is where am i going to get a delicious Breakfast, lunch time comes around i would be like OOoo lets get tacos or mcdonalds or whatever and same with dinner and now i cant do that anymore and it is depressing at times especially when everyone in my house orders pizza or made some awesome bbq that i cant have. But eventually once we are healed up good. We can have many of those things again but just much smaller portions. BUt why do you feel this way?

[suzannethemom 121]

Feelings of regret is completely normal and part of this journey. They refer to it as the “what have I done” stage. Our hormones are so out of whack for the first three months. You are not alone. I cried every day for the first two weeks after my sleeve surgery on April 12th. Today is the start of week 3 and instead of feeling sad, now I am in the angry stage. I’m sick and tired of my stupid food choices and eating the same boring things every day. I just want to eat like a normal person! I have to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary and part of the process.

Have you thought about therapy? I think it would be really helpful for you to share your feelings of regret with a therapist. I saw a therapist for two years for help with depression and a binge eating disorder. It was the best thing I ever did. Unfortunately, my therapist recently transferred to an office far away and I don’t want to start all over with a new therapist right now, but I know that if I start to feel that dark cloud looming over me and feel hopeless again, I will schedule to see anyone for help.

[rmp09 11]

I feel this way because I should've canceled and I didn't. I will always regret this for the rest of my life..which I hope isn't too much longer. I didn't need the surgery and I convinced myself I did. Hence why I hate myself more than I ever have.

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[SleeveToBypass2023 2,598]

4 minutes ago, rmp09 said:

I feel this way because I should've canceled and I didn't. I will always regret this for the rest of my life..which I hope isn't too much longer. I didn't need the surgery and I convinced myself I did. Hence why I hate myself more than I ever have.

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If you truly didn't need the surgery, you wouldn't have been approved for it. What you're feeling is part of the healing process, and it'll pass. What specifically do you hate about the surgery? Is it the smaller portions? The Protein and Water requirements? The fact that you just won't be able to eat certain things? If you're healed 6 weeks out, you can start eating regular food again. Go slow and just enjoy the journey of exploring foods again. Maybe talk to your nutritionist, get some therapy. This will pass, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

[liveaboard15 1,293]

8 minutes ago, rmp09 said:

I feel this way because I should've canceled and I didn't. I will always regret this for the rest of my life..which I hope isn't too much longer. I didn't need the surgery and I convinced myself I did. Hence why I hate myself more than I ever have.

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you feel this way because you should have cancelled and didnt... But why? why should you have cancelled? Also let us know your height and weight since you said you didnt need the surgery. We are trying to understand you and help you

[rmp09 11]

If you truly didn't need the surgery, you wouldn't have been approved for it. What you're feeling is part of the healing process, and it'll pass. What specifically do you hate about the surgery? Is it the smaller portions? The Protein and Water requirements? The fact that you just won't be able to eat certain things? If you're healed 6 weeks out, you can start eating regular food again. Go slow and just enjoy the journey of exploring foods again. Maybe talk to your nutritionist, get some therapy. This will pass, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

I hate all of it. I am the pickiest eater I'm the world and won't eat most things. I hate that I can't drink with my meals, I hate what they tell me I should eat because I won't eat like 90%of it.. worst decision ever.

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[rmp09 11]

you feel this way because you should have cancelled and didnt... But why? why should you have cancelled? Also let us know your height and weight since you said you didnt need the surgery. We are trying to understand you and help you

I should've canceled because I was losing the weight on my own before this horrible choice. I am 5ft4 and was 210.. was also told I never looked very big but my brain convinced me otherwise.. I don't even care about losing the weight anymore, I don't care about being thin or skinny. I am just going to isolate myself like I always do because now after mutilating my insides..I don't deserve any good ever again.

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[liveaboard15 1,293]

Just now, rmp09 said:

I should've canceled because I was losing the weight on my own before this horrible choice. I am 5ft4 and was 210.. was also told I never looked very big but my brain convinced me otherwise.. I don't even care about losing the weight anymore, I don't care about being thin or skinny. I am just going to isolate myself like I always do because now after mutilating my insides..I don't deserve any good ever again.

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you remind me a bit of my cousins. They are very picky eaters. The reason why you cant drink with your food is because you need that space for the Protein and not to wash it away so quick. But i mean you can take a sip with your food. and while there are certain things that are off limits. once you are healed up, you should be able to eat what you use to but just less of it. I mean i cant wait to eat pizza again. No i wont be able to chow down 4-5 slices of a meat lovers pizza anymore but once i heal up i can have a slice of some thin crust pizza. But you are 6 weeks post op so you should be able to eat a decent amount of solid food. Just give it time. i know waiting sucks (I am the most impatient person in the world) But you will get there where you can enjoy those things again. As for your weight. you are the same height as me. I am 5'4. I remember being 210lb. That was when i lived in Puerto Rico. Back then i didnt think i was too overweight. But i sure didnt want to take off my shirt at the beach lol. But from 210 i started to quickly climb in weight and my shirt sizes kept going up and my pant size as well. you should be able to hopefully get to maybe 130-150 and you will feel amazing but we gotta get over this tiny section of our lives to get to the good stuff... Seriously just hang in there.

[rmp09 11]

you remind me a bit of my cousins. They are very picky eaters. The reason why you cant drink with your food is because you need that space for the Protein and not to wash it away so quick. But i mean you can take a sip with your food. and while there are certain things that are off limits. once you are healed up, you should be able to eat what you use to but just less of it. I mean i cant wait to eat pizza again. No i wont be able to chow down 4-5 slices of a meat lovers pizza anymore but once i heal up i can have a slice of some thin crust pizza. But you are 6 weeks post op so you should be able to eat a decent amount of solid food. Just give it time. i know waiting sucks (I am the most impatient person in the world) But you will get there where you can enjoy those things again. As for your weight. you are the same height as me. I am 5'4. I remember being 210lb. That was when i lived in Puerto Rico. Back then i didnt think i was too overweight. But i sure didnt want to take off my shirt at the beach lol. But from 210 i started to quickly climb in weight and my shirt sizes kept going up and my pant size as well. you should be able to hopefully get to maybe 130-150 and you will feel amazing but we gotta get over this tiny section of our lives to get to the good stuff... Seriously just hang in there.

That's the thing..I don't even care about being that small.. I don't think I will ever feel good about this horrible choice and it sucks that I seem to be the only person I'm the world who hates the choice. I don't ever see feeling like myself again.. I really just hope my medical stuff gets worse and the universe takes me away from this hell for good.

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[Nicki100 19]

Just hold on - It really is normal to feel what you’re feeling. Once you see the weight continue to drop off, you will fell different. The recuperation from surgery is no joke. Since you have fasted for so long and (depending what your doctor instructed you are probably eating purée food), you have released all of the toxins from pre surgery. This is really a chemical change and you’ll feel not so good but it’s just for now-not for always.

You will make it ! You will feel differently when you eat real food. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at time. You will make it and you’ll tell others that there is a light at the end of this journey. It will be alright.

[rmp09 11]

Just hold on - It really is normal to feel what you’re feeling. Once you see the weight continue to drop off, you will fell different. The recuperation from surgery is no joke. Since you have fasted for so long and (depending what your doctor instructed you are probably eating purée food), you have released all of the toxins from pre surgery. This is really a chemical change and you’ll feel not so good but it’s just for now-not for always.

You will make it ! You will feel differently when you eat real food. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at time. You will make it and you’ll tell others that there is a light at the end of this journey. It will be alright.

I won't ever recommend this surgery to anyone. I don't ever plan on talking about it out loud again, except for at therapy..when and if I can get in to see someone. If anyone asks me about it in person, I will say I don't talk about it. I truly don't care about anything anymore. Sorry.

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[Nicki100 19]

It will get easier.

[Arabesque 7,240]

You’re grieving which is very common after surgery. I really hope you will consider seeing a therapist to support you. Did you see one before surgery & discuss your worries? I’m surprised you actually were able to have the surgery if you were questioning & had so many concerns about proceeding with the surgery. Did you bring them up with your surgeon or medical team before hand. Your comment that you hope you die soon is very concerning. Please speak to someone.

With a BMI of 36 you are severely obese. If you don’t have any comorbidities at the moment, they would have been in your near future. I didn’t have any but I knew it was only by the grace of God & my days were numbered until I had diabetes, heart issues, mobility issues, etc.

How you are having to eat now is not your future. It’s just through your healing stage & then while you are losing weight. Most people eat a lot of their old favourites just not as frequently & in much smaller portion sizes or swap out some ingredients so it’s healthier. You may even be surprised that you start to enjoy foods you didn’t before.

But again, please seek some help.

[rmp09 11]

You’re grieving which is very common after surgery. I really hope you will consider seeing a therapist to support you. Did you see one before surgery & discuss your worries? I’m surprised you actually were able to have the surgery if you were questioning & had so many concerns about proceeding with the surgery. Did you bring them up with your surgeon or medical team before hand. Your comment that you hope you die soon is very concerning. Please speak to someone.
With a BMI of 36 you are severely obese. If you don’t have any comorbidities at the moment, they would have been in your near future. I didn’t have any but I knew it was only by the grace of God & my days were numbered until I had diabetes, heart issues, mobility issues, etc.
How you are having to eat now is not your future. It’s just through your healing stage & then while you are losing weight. Most people eat a lot of their old favourites just not as frequently & in much smaller portion sizes or swap out some ingredients so it’s healthier. You may even be surprised that you start to enjoy foods you didn’t before.
But again, please seek some help.

I don't care what my BMI was or is. I will always regret this until i die.

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