Utter regret

[lizonaplane 1,612]

22 minutes ago, idk4w said:

OMG LOL Yes you're right! I did read it wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for my lack of a comma! I'm always typing too fast! Yes, I have been hungry from day one but I also have very good restriction, so I would only be able to eat a few bites before feeling full. We were told not to graze, so I would just be hungry all the time, waiting for my next meal.

Eventually they put me on Metformin and Topamax (both meds I'd been on before surgery) and they have helped me be less hungry. But what helped more is that I learned to eat things that are easier - ground meat instead of chicken breasts, fish instead of pork, things with lots of sauce, etc.

I lost 50 lbs in the 7 months before surgery and 60 since surgery (almost 7 months now!). I don't know how much more I'll lose, but I'm still losing 4-6lbs a month.

[Beck53 17]

You can't change the fact that you had the surgery but please believe, it gets better. Right now, you need to talk to a professional so you can get some relief for the mental pain that you are experiencing. Good luck to you.

[Kia kaha 35]

On 4/5/2022 at 9:12 AM, rmp09 said:

Had my surgery March 23 and now I absolutely hate my life. I wish I canceled the whole thing even 4 hrs before I was supposed to fly out. All I think about is suicide now and that now life is pointless. I see my doctor Wednesday, but seeing so many be happy about the choice seems to make me even more angry at myself because I was never that big to begin with ..but my mental issues told me otherwise. I can't be the only person who had gastric sleeve to feel this way... so very alone.

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Feeling suicidal is a huge red flag that you need to find someone to talk to VERY urgently. Imagine if it was your best friend saying what you have just said…how would you help them? What would you say? Be your own best friend and seek help, be kind to yourself. It makes me so sad to read your post. I suspect you are going through a very real grief process, being angry is part of it….you will reach acceptance if you allow yourself to go through the process. It’s Ok to not feel Ok sometimes you know. It’s normal. You aren’t alone, you have reached out with your feelings and it’s a privilege to be able to ‘talk’. You will be Ok eventually you know, but it will take time, courage, talking and acceptance. xxx

[carpeediem 6]

On 4/4/2022 at 5:12 PM, rmp09 said:

Had my surgery March 23 and now I absolutely hate my life. I wish I canceled the whole thing even 4 hrs before I was supposed to fly out. All I think about is suicide now and that now life is pointless. I see my doctor Wednesday, but seeing so many be happy about the choice seems to make me even more angry at myself because I was never that big to begin with ..but my mental issues told me otherwise. I can't be the only person who had gastric sleeve to feel this way... so very alone.

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You are not alone! I regret my decision to have surgery every day, and it's been five weeks. I have noticed that I'm falling into some kinda of depression. I'm constantly angry or short-tempered with my loved ones; I'm not happy. Also, every little thing irritates me. I feel alone and don't want to be around anyone but even the dog.

[bgrimes612 13]

Hello @carpeedim i had my surgery 03/02/2022 and i felt the same exact way , my anger and irritation was out the roof the first couple weeks i got so mad i kicked a hole in my door arguing with my spouse. Honestly I’m going to say it gets better to both of you . I have moments where i feel sad and I’m not sure why but i think i connected it with food . I never knew hose happy food made me until i couldn’t have it or have as much of it . I enrolled in therapy and I’m learning to cope with my emotions and irritation . But it will get better i promise you guys , I’m 5 weeks out and i have lost 45 pounds total . So trust me nothing great or deserving comes easy in life ,

[rmp09 11]

I honestly don't care about being skinny or losing the weight anymore. I brainwash myself and now I see how wrong I was. Once fully healed I plan on gradually stretching my stomach back to a more normal size.. worst decision of my life.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,626]

6 hours ago, rmp09 said:

I honestly don't care about being skinny or losing the weight anymore. I brainwash myself and now I see how wrong I was. Once fully healed I plan on gradually stretching my stomach back to a more normal size.. worst decision of my life.

If you do that, not only will you make yourself sick, you will have wasted all that time, energy, pain, money. Maybe it would be better for you to work your food plan, get some therapy and grief counseling, and focus on making all the parts of you better. I don't even think you can stretch your stomach out to be the size it was. And hurting yourself trying isn't going to solve anything.

[winkydinks 17]

Do you think it's possible that you were using food as a bit of a self-medication for depression? If so, what you're feeling would make sense. Take away the cure and the original disease manifests again. Dual-diagnosis drug addicts often experience similar feelings when they try to get clean. The only difference is that they always have the (unfortunate) option of relapsing. You don't exactly.

Take a deep breath and try to remember the unhappiness that drove you to make that first call to the surgeon's office. Please call someone too. Find a good therapist. Maybe a psychiatrist would be helpful as well?

Now for the tough love part. I'm truly not trying to sound brash when I say this, but at the end of the day, you made a choice, and well...you're going to have to live with it. Regret can be a monster if you indulge it, and we can't change the past. You can either make the decision to dwell on what you at this moment wish you hadn't done, or you can work to move forward with your new life.

[Guest]

I'm saddened to read all these stories. A general reminder to everyone that obesity is a complex, chronic condition that has psychological, social, hormonal, metabolic components. It needs to be managed carefully, and bariatric surgery is one tool out of many. For weight loss, it is the only serious tool so far, but weight loss is symptomatic treatment and likely not root-cause treatment.

I can't think of a more desperate situation than having a restrictive-only surgery (band, sleeve) with an untreated eating disorder. I really empathize with that.

However, there's hope. Therapy (and especially good group therapy, as it were) is powerful to help with EDs. Restrictive-only surgeries definitely work for some people, but I can't stress enough how awesome it is to have the powerful hormonal help a true malabsorptive procedure gives you. I'm sure the DS'ers / Loop DS'ers / SADI-S / SIPS etc. people will agree with us MGB'ers about that.

So the sleeve isn't the final destination, and therapy is a more powerful tool against the root causes - bariatric surgery only fixes the physical side of things.

Best of luck!

[summerseeker 2,152]

15 hours ago, rmp09 said:

I honestly don't care about being skinny or losing the weight anymore. I brainwash myself and now I see how wrong I was. Once fully healed I plan on gradually stretching my stomach back to a more normal size.. worst decision of my life.

Has anyone mentioned that your Hormones are all over the place after surgery. Even me at 62 and thought her hormonal days were well and truly over suffered this. I couldn't control my feelings of - Why did I buy this when I am so ill all the time ? Why cant I eat like my peers ? I cant even drink, what have I done ? I cried a lot. I was nasty to my husband who was only trying to help. I couldn't explain why I felt this way. As my stomach swelling eased up a bit, I could eat a little more and these feelings started to die back. I hope you can weather the storm. You are worth it. Get some help if you can.. Take every day as it comes and know that I will be rooting for you. x BTW you can stretch your sleeve, Plenty have turned up on the 600lbs show and want a second Sleeve at 800lbs

[Nikki@50 12]

Had my surgery March 23 and now I absolutely hate my life. I wish I canceled the whole thing even 4 hrs before I was supposed to fly out. All I think about is suicide now and that now life is pointless. I see my doctor Wednesday, but seeing so many be happy about the choice seems to make me even more angry at myself because I was never that big to begin with ..but my mental issues told me otherwise. I can't be the only person who had gastric sleeve to feel this way... so very alone.
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Hi [emoji3059]
I had surgery March 24th and I'm also struggling. Everything smells and tastes horrible and I am currently trying baby food (only the fruity kind)because everything makes me nauseous. Food was such a comfort to me and I knew it was going to be difficult letting go but I didn't realise how difficult. If you are still feeling suicidal please please get help. This is only a temporary emotion and will eventually pass with help. I'm now having counselling to help me cope with the issues that I comforted with food. Sending you a warm hug [emoji847].

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[GradyCat 3,695]

I'm glad you're reaching out here, but I'm going to steer you to a therapist/counselor. Please deal with those suicidal thoughts. Don't ignore them - - - deal with them.

Like others said, maybe your hormones are out of whack post-surgery. Did you go through a psych eval before WLS to make sure you had realistic expectations of both results as well as the recovery period? Go see that counselor and talk about these feelings you are having.

PLEASE GET HELP NOW!

[Guest]

On 4/11/2022 at 8:59 PM, rmp09 said:

I honestly don't care about being skinny or losing the weight anymore. I brainwash myself and now I see how wrong I was. Once fully healed I plan on gradually stretching my stomach back to a more normal size.. worst decision of my life.

It'll be ok I promise. We all have these moments but there will be a new normal and you'll love yourself again. Please stay on the forum too. We're here to help. But if you have any harmful thoughts, you know what they are, you need to reach out to a professional that very same day.

Edited April 12, 2022 by Guest

[SleeverSk 635]

On 4/13/2022 at 6:09 AM, Nikki@50 said:

Hi
I had surgery March 24th and I'm also struggling. Everything smells and tastes horrible and I am currently trying baby food (only the fruity kind)because everything makes me nauseous. food was such a comfort to me and I knew it was going to be difficult letting go but I didn't realise how difficult. If you are still feeling suicidal please please get help. This is only a temporary emotion and will eventually pass with help. I'm now having counselling to help me cope with the issues that I comforted with food. Sending you a warm hug .

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It gets better it truly does I was in the same boat as the both of you and at 9 months out I can eat way more than I thought I would ever be able to eat again. Yes the first 6 months are hard but once you get past that it's pretty good and smooth sailing mostly

[Nikki@50 12]

It gets better it truly does I was in the same boat as the both of you and at 9 months out I can eat way more than I thought I would ever be able to eat again. Yes the first 6 months are hard but once you get past that it's pretty good and smooth sailing mostly

Thank you sooo much for responding, it's great to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel [emoji16]

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