3 years out and still afraid of gaining the weight back

[RachaelLou 32]

HW - 237

LW - 137 (this was also my goal weight)

CW - 155

I hit my goal weight 8 months after surgery (November 2019) but, by about 13 months out I was up to 150 pounds, and have been maintaining my weight in the 150’s ever since. I have maintained my weight here for two years and am comfortable, but still long to lose the 20 pounds I regained, and STILL fear gaining back all of the weight.

[alex76 184]

Sounds like we had our surgeries around the same time. I got to my lowest weight of 164 lbs. About a year after surgery. I started out at 325. I gained back about 10 lbs over the last 2 years, and I felt fine in the 170s. I knew that I wasn’t eating my best though- I was eating whatever I wanted in small portions. That’s not how I wanted to live, and I didn’t feel my best.
So 2 weeks ago I tried out the 10 Day pouch reset diet- not to shrink my pouch, but to get back control of my eating. I ended up losing 6 lbs during those 10 days.
I decided to continue eating clean by cutting out most carbs and wine, and sticking with vegetarian way of eating. I feel great and I lost a few more pounds!
So I just thought I’d let you know what worked for me- Good luck! You can do whatever you set your mind to! We have already proven that we can be successful after surgery, sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we are bariatric patients for life who have to constantly work towards maintaining our new bodies and minds!

[catwoman7 11,212]

a 10-20 lb rebound after you hit your lowest weight is VERY common. I think it's just your body settling in where it feels comfortable - your new "set point". Of course, you can always lose it again if you decrease your calorie intake, but if this is your body's new "set point", it'll be a challenge to get back down to where you want to be and stay there. Been through this myself. I gained 20 lbs after hitting bottom. The first 10 pounds I was OK with because I'd gotten a bit too gaunt-looking, but I'd love to get rid of the last 10 lbs. Unfortunately, I've been struggling this for the last three or four years. I'm almost to the point of throwing in the towel. My current weight is fine, according to my surgeon and PCP, but I don't know - I looked pretty darn good 10 lbs ago!!

[Danny Paul 761]

I try to maintain my weight at 160lbs. If I go over I work to get back to 160. I think if we have a "red line" weight we are more apt to keep from gaining. I don't subscribe to the well I'm still down from my original weight mindset when the pounds start to pack on. It's diligence and mindful eating that will keep you on track. It is hard and I too fear regaining the weight every single day as the OP does. At this stage weight loss comes in ounces for me as I have lost the weight loss super powers that I had post op.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, RachaelLou said:

I have maintained my weight here for two years and am comfortable

Amazing job! I don't think the choice is being where you are now or being in the 130s. I think the choice is either celebrating your great success and staying there - or eventually going back into dieting-->regain-->more dieting---> more regain mode.

If you're comfortable now, I'd really look into working on how to maintain this. Be at peace with your body, it told you this is where you're good.

Maybe waving the 130s ideal goodbye would release new strength and belief in your ability to stay where you are? It's clearly the set point your body wanted

[toodlerue 452]

Sounds a lot like me. I lost 60 after the surgery. Never got down to my goal, just 10 pounds away. They I started to eat crap, I quickly put on 30.
Last February my friend talked me into doing the Fast Metabolism Diet by Haily Pomroy, your gonna have to Google it. You eat really clean it’s just what you eat in 3 different phases. We followed it for a couple months & then just continued to eat clean.
In August I hit my goal weight!! I have been hanging out 130-135 since then. Still try to eat clean.

We are going on a cruise in September & I am super nervous about that!

[Guest]

1 minute ago, toodlerue said:

Sounds a lot like me. I lost 60 after the surgery. Never got down to my goal, just 10 pounds away. They I started to eat crap, I quickly put on 30.
Last February my friend talked me into doing the Fast Metabolism Diet by Haily Pomroy, your gonna have to Google it. You eat really clean it’s just what you eat in 3 different phases. We followed it for a couple months & then just continued to eat clean.
In August I hit my goal weight!! I have been hanging out 130-135 since then. Still try to eat clean.

We are going on a cruise in September & I am super nervous about that!

Awesome that you found something that worked for you!

Just be mindful - all others reading - that forcing the body below its weight set point could lead to regain and a new cycle of crash diets --> overeating --> hello 300 lbs.

If you're at 150ish lbs and comfortable, far be it from any of us to recommend dieting, no?

[Spinoza 1,368]

I think you need to relax into it. Also if possible separate out your aspiration to lose more from your fear of regaining what you have lost (and kept off). What you have done is to lose 82lbs of fat and to keep it off for 2 years. Absolutely amazing - you used the tool surgery gave you so well. There was a bottoming out before that, which is really common. Sounds like the mid 150s might be the new set point you got from surgery. If you keep trying to push diet and exercise to get below that again you might find it difficult/impossible to maintain, and you could even mess with that new set point. I know we are human and will always aspire to more/better/faster, but could you live with being 155 if you measured that against the loss of the pressure/guilt to lose those 'last 18lbs'?

With regard to regaining everything you have lost, I suspect there's a little devil whispering that to all of us. Shove a big wedge of cucumber in his mouth and shut him right up. You are the BOSS of weight loss.

[ms.sss 15,572]

Ok, this may not be a popular opinion, but here goes:

While there is evidence to support the theory of a constant body weight inherency (i.e., what is commonly discussed as “set points”), and that genetics do play a role one’s ability to lose/gain/maintain one’s weight, I would venture to say that a person’s weight is not so much immovably tied to a “set-point”, as much as it is tied to their lifestyle.

Yes, it may require more effort for one person to get to 130 than another…it just depends if the former is willing to put in that effort indefinitely to reach and maintain an arbitrary weight number. For some it is, for others, not so much.

For a couple years, every time i neared a self-imposed weight “red-line” i would tighten the reigns a little bit to get down to my “happy weight” again (we are talking a diff of 5 lbs here, so it was a pretty regular thing). Last year I decided it was too much effort too often and raised my “happy weight” by 5 lbs. I haven’t had to tighten the reigns since and enjoy eating/drinking in my own way without having to go out of my way to self correct every once in a while.

Now i believe i could get back to sub 115 again if i reeeaaaaallly wanted to, but it turns out i don’t. And who knows, maybe i may raise (or lower) my happy weight again in the next couple years. Its all good.

So if you want to get to 130’s and are willing (and at peace) to put in the effort, then yay! But i think if it gives you angst and takes away from life it may be in your best interest to rethink your expectations.

Good Luck! ❤️

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

So if you want to get to 130’s and are willing (and at peace) to put in the effort, then yay!

You're obviously a highly experienced (and by everything I've seen wonderful and insightful) bariatric patient.

Yet I'm someone who fought (and won against) a serious eating disorder. I heard many, many people's stories in group therapy along the way. I work with local health authorities on early intervention in childhood medical care when it comes to preventing EDs, not because I don't already have a great job in a different field, but because we're approaching BED specifically from a harmful place.

Every single story from BED suffers starts with a diet. From a normal or normal-adjacent weight. And it leads to spiraling diet-overeating-diet---> (the body will get its calories eventually, especially in someone whose coping pattern already involved getting morbidly obese).

So I worry giving diet advice to someone at a completely normal bodyweight in counter-productive.

Of course you're right in what you say. Of course.

I just want to say to people reading here; it will never be good enough if you don't learn to live with yourself. 10 or 20 lbs will make no difference. But trying to take them off might get you right back to where you started.