How do i relate

[thinblueline 63]

I just can't relate to anyone on here because i have not had my SX yet i know i chat with others and ask them what their experience(s) were and strike up a conversation after all we're all in this together right. I would like to talk about self-esteem after all it effects all of us the reason i bring this up because isn't it vicious cycle that we (i know i do ) tend to blame ourselves for the situation we are in ,for example i blamed myself for my bi-lateral hip replacement when i was alone at home when i was discharged from the hospital i never felt so alone in alone in all my life i bring this up because my self-esteem was shot and i was loaded with guilt and i blamed myself for the SX and i could have made my situations different ( i worked construction)all my life)but i refused to. anyway, i hope this makes sense because it all ties in together from the construction to the eating to much working to much the list goes on, i hope all of you have a great day and be gentle with yourselves because no else will.😎

[Making_changes 14]

One thing I found helpful while going through the presurgery insurance hoops was my psych evaluation. She recommended I speak with a therapist to discuss my relationships with people and food. That therapist gave me great advice on how to stop beating myself up over my perceived failures.

[thinblueline 63]

Thank you for the advice i will definitely talk with her next week !😊

[The Greater Fool 2,054]

Every post-op here was once a pre-op, so on that basic level we can relate. Some of us started at a lower weight than you, others at a higher weight. Not all of us had hip or knee replacements, but those that did can relate, and those that didn't can relate to the chronic pain we suffered anyhow. I'm sure some number of folks here have experienced the same combinations of diagnoses and interventions that you have. A lot of others come close.

One thing most of us learned is we are not as unique, nor are we as alone as many of us thought.

Good luck,

Tek

[thinblueline 63]

One thing most of us learned is we are not as unique, nor are we as alone as many of us thought.

I couldn't agree with you more i still feel alone because this eating has ballooned up to 289 lbs and its depressing (please don't think I'm a doom and gloom kind of guy because I'm not I'm actually a pretty funny guy who loves to love)i know now that i am a part of this awesome community it can only get better from here right.

[Kia kaha 35]

Hiya, yes a fine line between taking responsibility for yourself and blaming oneself for everything isn’t it 😊 One thing for certain, changing mindset sounds easy but takes time and work. I have a tendency to slip down the negativity rabbit hole as well…catching my ‘self talk’ (especially in the dark watches of the night) is a good habit to build. But having the chance for this surgery is amazing (scary but amazing). My surgeon said to me ‘it’s not your fault that you’re overweight, obesity is a disease’. That blew my mind to hear a respected medical professional saying that to me. TBH I do still blame myself a bit, being fat ain’t fun, but the very fact that we, as a group, are doing this thing shows that we are taking responsibility for our health and wellbeing and doing what it takes to sort it out. So, there we are, we are super humans who are focused on action and not just sitting in a sad heap not knowing how to sort ourselves out. Kudos to us.

[thinblueline 63]

I agree with you totally people in my eyes suck the make jokes and call us names and it hits me right to the bone we all have weaknesses and i swear people see right through, for me i have no problem speaking up for myself i refuse allowing someone crossing my boundaries or put your hands on me , no way that aint going to happen, anyway enough of my babbling you deserve better in life we all do , just because , like you said , just because were fast does not someone the right to disrespect us i can tell by your typing and the words you used that you're very sensitive and that's ok so am i i am very sensitive but I'll go along minding my business and if someone makes a snide remark i lose it i don't like that side of me neither does my wife she takes the brunt of it when i am angry i eat i guess eat to comfort myself now look what i did to myself.😎

[ShoppGirl 5,024]

17 hours ago, thinblueline said:

Thank you for the advice i will definitely talk with her next week !😊

You may have to ask her if you can continue to see her beyond The evaluation or if she can recommend someone else if she is too booked.

[thinblueline 63]

I think i am going to like it around here i get so much positive feedback and i like it because my family certainly would not support me and my journey through this tough process i am not kidding myself if i think this process is going to be easy only kidding myself anything worth fighting is worth it , right , my relationship with food is so skewed i can't seem to get a handle on it i try so hard to lose weight or at least eat salads poultry and it works for a little while and i go right back to my old ways , i become so angry that i say screw it i just eat anything is there anything as far as advice goes that anyone can offer me about why i get so emotionally attached to food it would be nice to understand if i could what a freedom that would be , thank you for taking the time in reading this i appreciate it. 😀