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Introduction, First appointment tomorrow



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Hello. 48 year old married female mother of three here. I've been reading these boards for a while as I make this life changing decision. I have my first pre-op appointment tomorrow with my bariatric surgeon and can't wait. I've been spending the past several weeks working on my list of questions and trying to change my habits. Last fall I put a sticky note on my monitor with a symbol representing the need for change, and that if I did not succeed on my own I would start researching other options. Long story short, the day for other options is here as I weigh about 20 pounds more than I did last year. Like many here I know I can lose the weight. However, the day always comes when I can't white knuckle it anymore and then comes the regain and then some. Dieting interspersed with hectic lifestyle choices has resulted in my weighing 100 pounds more than I did 2 decades ago. I consider myself lucky that I have relatively few health problems, however I also feel my body is a ticking time bomb.

I have fears, but for me I have decided that the potential benefits far outweigh the risks. I can't wait to work in the garden without my joints hurting, go ice skating again and have the ENERGY I once did for traveling, physical activity, just cleaning up the house. I can't wait to travel without being so self conscious. I once got off of a plane in Ireland (as a size 18) and a woman came up to me and said "are you American?" I have no idea why she asked, but she marked my response down on her clipboard and started looking for other people to talk to. It was nothing to do with customs/etc. I was horrified and walked away quickly, jumping to the conclusion she was looking for overweight people to poll for some sort of research project. Weird I know, but I've thought about it ever since (she didn't bother to ask my naturally skinny husband of course). Now I hope to return to Ireland one day and actually do those things I chickened out of like climbing Skellig Michael (all 618 steps).

One of my biggest fears oddly enough is the inevitable well meaning comments/complements. I really struggle to tolerate unsolicited comments about weight loss and find them to be a terrible invasion of privacy. What's even worse are those comments along the lines of "you've lost enough, don't lose too much" when you're still 50 pounds overweight (which I've experienced SO many times). I'm already working on my polite replies to this which will hopefully put an end to that subject while also educating the person about healthy weight AND boundaries :).

I am a very private person, with posts such as this being a first for me. I've really enjoyed reading all your posts and feel well prepared for my appointment tomorrow. Thank you.

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I am a year out and I don’t like all the attention about my weight either. The novelty wears off though and people stop commenting about it. When they say that they think you have lost enough and not to get too small, though, just say that you are working with a doctor and you will stick to their advise about what weight is healthy for you. Being a private person too I totally get it but it’s worth going through that to get all the benefits that weight loss brings.

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