No longer feeling confident about having surgery

[Angelina1210 49]

Hello All,

I’m scheduled for surgery on December 10th. My surgery will be in Mexico because my insurance will not cover weight loss surgery. Today, I got a call from my pastors wife and she expressed her concerns about me going to Mexico. I’ve done my research and my weight is emotionally and physically taking a toll on me and I’ve been so excited but since talking to her, I no longer feel confident and I feel like negative thoughts have been projected on me. I was happy but now I’m feeling like this was too good to be true and maybe I shouldn’t go. This is why I should’ve kept tho to myself. I tried to be open about it and I’m getting negative feedback and it’s got my anxiety way up which is something I do not need right now. Any thoughts? I could use some encouragement. Thanks 😏

[Danielle91280 1]

Have you sought out why your Pastors wife feels uneasy? Have you had a blood workup? I would definitely go into prayer. She may feel or see something. Wishing you the best.

[lizonaplane 1,612]

I'm sorry she said this to you. It sounds more like she was concerned about you having the surgery in Mexico than the surgery itself, but I don't know that for sure. My mom was very supportive of my having surgery, but she was terrified that I would go to Mexico. I ended up getting covered by insurance and having it in the US.

However, I know many, many people have good experiences in Mexico (try watching some YouTube videos on "my level 10 life" - Erin went to Mexico and then went again for plastic surgery). Yes, there might be slightly more risk if your home doctor will not help you if you have a complication, but you can always go to the ER. Many of the doctors in Mexico did medical school in the US and I'm sure it's a much nicer facility than most in the US, in terms of recovery.

Good Luck!

[summerseeker 2,121]

7 hours ago, Angelina1210 said:

Hello All,

I’m scheduled for surgery on December 10th. My surgery will be in Mexico because my insurance will not cover weight loss surgery. Today, I got a call from my pastors wife and she expressed her concerns about me going to Mexico. I’ve done my research and my weight is emotionally and physically taking a toll on me and I’ve been so excited but since talking to her, I no longer feel confident and I feel like negative thoughts have been projected on me. I was happy but now I’m feeling like this was too good to be true and maybe I shouldn’t go. This is why I should’ve kept tho to myself. I tried to be open about it and I’m getting negative feedback and it’s got my anxiety way up which is something I do not need right now. Any thoughts? I could use some encouragement. Thanks 😏

However well meaning your pastors wife is - She has no input you should be concerned about. She has not got all the information she needs to help you make any decision on your on or off journey.

My biggest worry was that my surgery would get snatched from my grasp at the last minute. I needed it so much. I also felt it was too good to be true.

In these last few days you will be more anxious, its normal and healthy. You can always postpone but you will be angry at your self. Hug yourself for me

[danita75 19]

Why won’t insurance cover it? Most do now

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 656]

I had surgery in Mx. on 9/21 and it was the best decision I've ever made for myself. It was an incredibly difficult decision to make, but ultimately it was the very best thing I could do for myself. Most people mean well and their concern comes from a genuine, if not misinformed, place. Medical Tourism is a multi-billion dollar business; thousands of people travel to Mx. every year for surgeries and care of various kinds. If you have done your research and thoroughly vetted your surgeon, then you are just as safe and will be as well cared for as you would be in the US.

She is your pastor's wife, who loves and cares about you, to be sure. But she is not a physician, certainly not YOUR physician, and you would be wise to not take medical advice from her. What you need from her is her love and support. She should be offering to care for you, pray for you, serve you, and see you through, not discourage you from something that will likely be a life-changing, and possibly life-saving medical procedure.

You need to trust yourself. You have been given discernment and intuition for a reason. You desserve to take care of yourself!

[Queen ApisM 427]

1 hour ago, danita75 said:

Why won’t insurance cover it? Most do now

A lot of employer offered insurance plans can have specific exclusions for weight loss surgery. I've had three different insurances through employers in the past two years (old job switched carriers and then came to a new job) and all of them had WLS exclusions even if medically necessary. All of my plans have been pretty good, high quality plans otherwise, but they still have the exclusion.

There could be other reasons for the OP, but just wanted to note that many still don't.

[rjan 164]

I had my surgery in Mexico. It was literally the best health care experience I've ever had. I researched the hell out of it and chose an excellent doctor and hospital. The doctor was trained and certified in the US, and had excellent success rates. If it's a quality hospital and up-to-date surgeon, they use the same medical practices as they do in the US. But because labor is so much cheaper there, the nurses hover over you and take such good care of you. I did have one issue when I had an allergic reaction to a medication and we had trouble explaining what was going on to the nurse, but then they went and got one of the doctors that spoke better english.

I'm absolutely sure that your friend has your best interests at heart. But she may not be well informed about this subject. Lots of people think bariatric surgery is a bad idea no matter who you are and where you do it. My mom was definitely worried when I told her I wanted to do it. But she talked to my sister-in-law, who is an endocrinologist, and told her "oh yeah, bariatric surgery works, it will add 10 years to her life."

And surgery in Mexico sure sounds shady. But there's crappy surgeons in the US too. No matter where you are getting surgery, you should research the hell out of it and choose someone who you trust. My mom was nervous about it, but she also went with me and helped me communicate. I was very happy to have her along since you often feel pretty bad right afterwards.

There's nothing wrong with re-evaluating your plan and making sure you're comfortable with your choices. But there's basically a 100% chance that someone who loves and cares about you will think its the wrong decision. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. In the end, it's your choice, not theirs. You're the one who is living in your body, you're the one who knows best what you need, and you're the one who looked into this and got the information and made the decision. That's how it should be.

[Angelina1210 49]

8 hours ago, danita75 said:

Why won’t insurance cover it? Most do now

I have a PPO with Humana through my employer and they have nothing to do with weight loss surgery or programs. 🤷🏾‍♀️😏

[Angelina1210 49]

52 minutes ago, rjan said:

I had my surgery in Mexico. It was literally the best health care experience I've ever had. I researched the hell out of it and chose an excellent doctor and hospital. The doctor was trained and certified in the US, and had excellent success rates. If it's a quality hospital and up-to-date surgeon, they use the same medical practices as they do in the US. But because labor is so much cheaper there, the nurses hover over you and take such good care of you. I did have one issue when I had an allergic reaction to a medication and we had trouble explaining what was going on to the nurse, but then they went and got one of the doctors that spoke better english.

I'm absolutely sure that your friend has your best interests at heart. But she may not be well informed about this subject. Lots of people think bariatric surgery is a bad idea no matter who you are and where you do it. My mom was definitely worried when I told her I wanted to do it. But she talked to my sister-in-law, who is an endocrinologist, and told her "oh yeah, bariatric surgery works, it will add 10 years to her life."

And surgery in Mexico sure sounds shady. But there's crappy surgeons in the US too. No matter where you are getting surgery, you should research the hell out of it and choose someone who you trust. My mom was nervous about it, but she also went with me and helped me communicate. I was very happy to have her along since you often feel pretty bad right afterwards.

There's nothing wrong with re-evaluating your plan and making sure you're comfortable with your choices. But there's basically a 100% chance that someone who loves and cares about you will think its the wrong decision. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. In the end, it's your choice, not theirs. You're the one who is living in your body, you're the one who knows best what you need, and you're the one who looked into this and got the information and made the decision. That's how it should be.

Thank you. ☺️

[Angelina1210 49]

8 hours ago, Sleeve_Me_Alone said:

I had surgery in Mx. on 9/21 and it was the best decision I've ever made for myself. It was an incredibly difficult decision to make, but ultimately it was the very best thing I could do for myself. Most people mean well and their concern comes from a genuine, if not misinformed, place. Medical Tourism is a multi-billion dollar business; thousands of people travel to Mx. every year for surgeries and care of various kinds. If you have done your research and thoroughly vetted your surgeon, then you are just as safe and will be as well cared for as you would be in the US.

She is your pastor's wife, who loves and cares about you, to be sure. But she is not a physician, certainly not YOUR physician, and you would be wise to not take medical advice from her. What you need from her is her love and support. She should be offering to care for you, pray for you, serve you, and see you through, not discourage you from something that will likely be a life-changing, and possibly life-saving medical procedure.

You need to trust yourself. You have been given discernment and intuition for a reason. You desserve to take care of yourself!

You’re right. I do need to trust myself. I’ve done the research, asked questions and even made sure to get a physical before the surgery AND I am traveling with a family member. I got so discouraged after speaking with her and I can’t help but think and feel that this was her intention because of how she feels about the surgery. She asked if I was doing this for cosmetic reasons. Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️
I’m tired of gaining and loosing and then gaining again. I just want a new lease on life. I want to feel good and look good. I’m going through with it regardless. I do have a lot of support but I have some people who are worried and have all these bad ideas that something is going to happen to me.

[Spinoza 1,364]

You sound like you've totally got this Angelina. Best of luck to you. 😊

[Smanky 747]

3 hours ago, Angelina1210 said:

She asked if I was doing this for cosmetic reasons. Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️

There's your red flag right there! Yikes.

There's often a subtext to people who try to talk you out of WLS, and she showed hers with that question. Stay the course! Ignore the nay-sayers. You're doing this for your health and quality of life, and if you're confident with your surgical team, no-one else needs to add their two-cents into it!

[Angelina1210 49]

1 hour ago, Smanky said:

There's your red flag right there! Yikes.

There's often a subtext to people who try to talk you out of WLS, and she showed hers with that question. Stay the course! Ignore the nay-sayers. You're doing this for your health and quality of life, and if you're confident with your surgical team, no-one else needs to add their two-cents into it!

Yes. She did. They felt this was a “cosmetic thing” and it’s certainly not. I’m overweight and I’m sick of it and anyone who’s been overweight knows the physical and mental toll it takes on the body. I haven’t changed my mind. I was just a little down by the responses I was getting and then I have to remember that I made the choice to share my life changing decisions with those around me. Biiiiiig mistake🤦🏾‍♀️😏

[DaisyAndSunshine 303]

12 minutes ago, Angelina1210 said:

Yes. She did. They felt this was a “cosmetic thing” and it’s certainly not. I’m overweight and I’m sick of it and anyone who’s been overweight knows the physical and mental toll it takes on the body. I haven’t changed my mind. I was just a little down by the responses I was getting and then I have to remember that I made the choice to share my life changing decisions with those around me. Biiiiiig mistake🤦🏾‍♀️😏

I understand as an individual who's been overweight all her life how our weight affects and restricts us physically and even mentally. I have lost out on a lot cuz of it. And only here, one can understand how it is to be stuck in that frame all our lives.

Besides, even if it's done for the cosmetic reasons and wanting to look good, what's the harm in it anyways? It's your body, your life and your risk that you're willing to take for something that you deem is appropriate at this stage of your life.

So let others be and go into it with a positive mindset. What is going to happen, it shall happen. May as well take the risk than live with burden (literally 😂 and figuratively) rest of your life.

Good Luck to you. Hope you come outta it with flying colors. And you have this forum for the continued support even if you don't get enough from US doctors post your return.