All of a sudden "I'm Scared!"

[AllGirlToo 0]

I have been looking forward to the lap band procedure since the inception of the process about 8 months ago. Yesterday they called to set up the surgery and I was good until the nurse said that I had to start the clear liquid diet on December 22nd, and then she rattled on about food, etc...I am not sure that I heard anything else that she had to say because all I could think about was that--December 22nd and my life changes FOREVER!!!! I don't know if my reaction to this was because it was soooo soon, or that is is Christmas time or just the realization of the life changeing event about to happen. Please, respond to me and let me know if anyone else felt this way and then when you did do it was it ok? I don't know I am confused with my feelings right now and need some other input. Thank you in advanced!!!:help:

[Sunrise 0]

I'm not there yet but I was scared too. Take one day at a time. I had actually decided not to go through it. But the support I found really helped. Make sure you express all feelings.

Congrats on your new life!!!

[destined2befree 0]

your feelings are totally natural, however, I would definitely reconsider the surgery if you are not ready to make "the change". Remember all the reasons why you wanted the change, and that is exactly what you wanted...the change of health, change of weight, change of confidence in yourself, etc. You are right, it is a BIG decision and you need to be sure you are ready, willing and able to make that change or you will not be successful.

[lachica39 0]

Hi AllgirlToo

I feel the same way, I am scared. I have to keep the tears from coming down. the whole process went by fast, about 3 months. When I recieved the call from the Dr.s office, I didnt anwser the phone and finally called them back about 4 hrs later

I start my liquid diet tomorrow. the next 14 days will consist of 2 protien drinks and 1 small meal. that I can manage.

I have my pre-op appt 12/19, I truly feel that day will be the day I make my final decision.

I will miss food so much. I did enjoy chinese today with my husband, I felt sad, yet happy that I will soon be able to end my affair with food.

SC

surgery date 12/26/07

[destined2befree 0]

well put lachica39! that is soooo true. I am also scared, but am so ready to end my love affair with food....it is so darn unhealthy! I have sufferred the effects of it for the last twenty years and although I now kinow the end is near it is hard to accept that you are truly addicted to food much like an addict is addicted to drugs! I want to break those chains.........I can't wait to be free!!! Good luck ladies, we are all scared, but soon we will on our new journey and onto creating a new relationship with food....eating to live instead of living to eat!

[AllGirlToo 0]

Thank you so much for the above posts. lachica39 I feel that way too-I will miss food so much. I think my life has always revolved around food. Maybe that is what I am morning. The loss of a very good friend. Hum, something to think about i guess.

[AllGirlToo 0]

Destined Thank you for reminding me of why i want to do this!!! Yes, i need to be able to breathe again, and walk again, and not get exhausted doing the littlest things. All of those things were in the forefront until the nurse said "December 22nd NO MORE FOOD!!!!! OMG!!!

[glowdawn 0]

I didn't give myself alot of time to think about it. I have been researching it for over a year, but when the time came to set a surgery date, it happened pretty fast. I realize now after being banded for 1 week, that I was stuffing alot of emotions with food. I think that's what my anxiety really came from. It was like, what the !@#$% am I going to do now that I don't have food. I actually made myself sick about it. Eating for obese individuals is an addiction. Parting with any addiction is totally freaky. The liquid diet will be fine. Your diet after the surgery will be fine. You will be ready, and I promise the changes will not seem so overwhelming after you've had the surgery and have that first feeling of "hope."

Those of us that choose this option are at a place where we are ready to do do whatever it takes to finally get the weight off and stop feeling like a diet failure. Really, you will feel liberated, a bit sore and grumpy from the surgery maybe, but that's all. The changes will just "some to you" after being banded.

[steph_co 9]

I was there. I did okay up until the night before surgery and then I had a panic attack. I woke out of a dead sleep (even though I was EXHAUSTED) and stayed awake for about an hour just trying to calm myself down. Then when I was all prepped and just waiting on things to get going in my pre-op curtained area, I was talking to DH and started crying (out of no where!). Then when they wheeled me into the operating room, it was SO hard to not say, "Nevermind! I change my mind! I don't want to do it! Put me back and I'll get my clothes and get out of here!" LOL

But even after all of that, I am SO glad that I did. So, so, so glad. It's the best decision of my life. You know, at that moment being wheeled into the operating room and wanting to give up, I had a thought, "What will the me of tomorrow think?" I realized if I gave up on myself, I would have been so disappointed in myself. I would have been back where I started and going nowhere fast (except maybe upwards in pounds!). But I also realized that by that time the next day, I'd be all done with the surgery and sitting in my own home re-couping. I had to think of which reality I could live with. You can do this.

[glowdawn 0]

I felt the exact same way the night before surgery....the doctor gave me a pill that in his words "would make me sleep real nice" I'm not really sure what it was....when you go to Mexico you have to throw a small amount of caution to the wind. The next thing I knew it was time to shower and go to surgery. I know that is a little scary but to be honest I welcomed it because my adrenaline was going like crazy, and I couldn't shut my brain off!

[DonHoll1 0]

I think it is natural to be scared . It is a really big change, but for me it has been a really good one. Best of luck. Donna

[kacee 3]

Everyone talks like food as they know it is going to END after the band. SO NOT TRUE. That is the way everyone thinks. It's just not so. Food will taste the same, look the same. The difference is that you will not be able to take both hands and shove a cheeseburger down your gut in 15 seconds flat. THAT is what is going to change. Everything else will stay the same. Personally, I don't miss the gorging. Oh, you THINK you will....but it is just a habit. After 7 months, if I sit down and eat a full bowl of soup...I consider THAT gorging. I actually went to a restaurant with a girlfriend last week who met me for lunch because she is getting the band by my doctor right after the first of the year. We both ordered these wonderful stuffed baked potatoes which wound up being the size of half a SHOEBOX! When we brought them to the table...she pulled hers over and started stuffing. I took one look at mine and started laughing and said "There is NO WAY I will be eating all of this!" She finished hers down to the skin. I ate the good stuff off mine and enjoyed mine thoroughly. Over half of mine was left at the end of the meal, but I felt like I had had something very forbidden and I felt satiated, full, and happy.

[missypshep 0]

I was banded 11/15 and I know just what you are talking about. When the Doctors office called to give me my surgery date - I nearly lost it. I went blank. I was so scared and I wanted to back out. After all, I was paying cash for the surgery. What if it did not work. What if I was the one who would loose and then gain the weight back. What if, what if, what if. I was scared up to the point I was in the operating room. If they told me they were getting ready to give me the anesthesia, I probably would have jumped up and said forget it. but they put me to sleep without any warning and the next voice I heard was my Dr talking to my kids in college on the phone telling them it went well. I have no regrets. I have lost 39 pounds preop to now. I have not been on a scale since 11/28 and will not get on it again til 12/28 but I know I am losing pounds and definitely inches. I have a long way to go but this is one lifestyle change that I am enjoying. I look at food differently now. I am on mushies now and I only eat because I know I should. I have only felt hungry once or twice since surgery and a cup of Soup took care of that. Go figure. Living to be less of me and loving to be me.

Pat

Pre op 434

At op 410

Post op 395

goal 250 or less who knows

[juliegeraci 7]

My doctor didn't have me on a preop diet so I can't comment on that. For me, I had a breakdown just before surgery crying over how it had come to this. I think all emotions are normal. Good luck.

[AllGirlToo 0]

WOW!! Thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread. I needed to hear these things. You have all been very helpful. I don't know anyone who has had this surgery, so I felt that I had no one to ask questions to or to vent with. I am glad to see that I am not the only one who has gotten scared. I am not scared of the surgery but scared of the possibility of NO food for the rest of my life!! lol I was worried that I may NEVER be able to go to my FAVORITE ALL-YOU-CAN-STAND Restaurant and smother myself with food again. But I can see by the post from Kacee that my perception of what I will want will be different. Yes, I can still fill that need, although the need won't be the same proportion as it is now. Glowdawn, I too am going to have to deal with emotional part also..I eat for emotion...when I Celebrate (the hard part here is missing Christmas dinner), when I am sad (Ben & Jerry's may go bankrupt), when I am lonely, etc...I don't know how I will deal with those emotions after this and that scares me too. Steph, I know it will be ok when it is all done, even though now I am hesitant, BUT I am trying to look at this like this..I wanted this done for 365 days and now for the next 15 I am hesitant. So I look at it mathematically +365-15=350 days I am looking forward to this so IT SHOULD BE A GO, RIGHT? (trying to sell it to me, right here...lol) Donna and Missy-thank you for letting me know that it is ok after it is done and that you are so EXCITED about it. I am going to equate this to me riding my first roller coaster...I was so afraid but my Dad pointed out all of the people who where getting on and off the roller coaster and that they were all alive and well and looked like they enjoyed themselves. After observeing this for a while I decided he was right and rode the roller coaster. And you know what...HE was right..It was fun!!

I really appreciate all of the posts thisreally is helping to calm me down inregards to this surgery thank you so much. And I hope you will continue to post (ESPECIALLY the next few weeks) to let me know that how you are doing and what great things I have to look forward to.

Again, Thank you all so much.

Girl