Anyone Ever Cancel Their Surgery? I Did... Not Sure How I Feel

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...

And then I started to have a meltdown.

I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.

I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.

Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

I bet that’s a first that someone cancelled in person. Lol. Sounds like you just panicked. What Are your concerns that led you to cancel??

[summerseeker 2,139]

10 minutes ago, You Are My Sunshine said:

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...

And then I started to have a meltdown.

I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.

I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.

Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

You just are not ready, step away and in a while reconsider, It happens you were overwhelmed. Forgive yourself

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

@shopgirl Maybe.. I was there so I figured might as well.

Fears? Complications. For sure.

Fear of getting VSG and having to revise to RNY.

Fear of something so permanent and not being able to go back. Like, if something does go wrong, I can't have a "re do."

I was panicking thinking of them sucking my stomach out through my belly.

I asked in my pre-op if I could pre-medicate and was told no, that they'd give me something in my IV. I told them I might not make it to the hospital. I wasn't joking.

My husband was concerned that they wouldn't even operate on me considering I was in a huge panic.

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

2 minutes ago, summerseeker said:

You just are not ready, step away and in a while reconsider, It happens you were overwhelmed. Forgive yourself

Yes trying to do that. Feeling some shame, disappointment.

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

3 minutes ago, You Are My Sunshine said:

@shopgirl Maybe.. I was there so I figured might as well.

Fears? Complications. For sure.

Fear of getting VSG and having to revise to RNY.

Fear of something so permanent and not being able to go back. Like, if something does go wrong, I can't have a "re do."

I was panicking thinking of them sucking my stomach out through my belly.

I asked in my pre-op if I could pre-medicate and was told no, that they'd give me something in my IV. I told them I might not make it to the hospital. I wasn't joking.

My husband was concerned that they wouldn't even operate on me considering I was in a huge panic.

Do you feel like this is something that you still want to do? If so, maybe a bariatric therapist can help with the anxiety. They should have statistics on how often (how infrequent) these things happen that you are afraid of. They can also tell you the statistics of things that happen because of obesity without surgery. Plus if they are prescribing dr maybe they can give you something that you can take the night before and morning of surgery to calm you down. Of course you have to make sure the surgeon is okay with you taking it but my guess is that they will take your anxiety more seriously now.

[Splenda 257]

Well, I didn't cancel quite as dramatically as you did.

In 2013, I started down the path, doing pre-op visits, etc. At the same time, I started Tim Ferriss's slow carb diet. I did great, had a ton of weight coming off. I realize now that his plan re-inforced my binge eating habits in a way that made it impossible for me to maintain once I went off the diet. But at the time, I had this confidence that I could do anything.

The nutritionist asked me what I was doing to lose weight and I explained the diet. She told me that I needed to realize that once I had the surgery I couldn't eat like that any more. Now that I am post-surgery, I see that she was absolutely right. But at the time, it offended me. I was losing weight like crazy (ended up losing 150 pounds in 13 months) and she had the audacity to tell me that I couldn't keep doing it? I cancelled the rest of my appointments. It was another 8 years before I re-started the process and went through with the surgery in August 2021.

Before my actual surgery, I had a lot of the same fears you did. RNY is a pretty freaking permanent and I had no clue what awaited on the other side of surgery. Laying alone on the gurney during pre-op, not knowing what life would hold when I awoke...that was tough. I had always seen VSG/RNY as my last resort. What I realized was that I had come to my last resort. The next diet was very likely to turn out like all of the others: works for a little while, but the weight comes back. I didn't want to do that to my body (and mind) any more. I have a wife and four kids and they deserved to have me around for a while longer. So I went through with it not because I had confidence that everything would be roses and rainbows on the other side, but because it was the best (and probably only) option for me to turn around my health. Bariatric surgery is a bet on yourself. It's a bet that you have more discipline than you realize (or that your body shape shows) and that if given a real opportunity, you can turn this around permanently. Are you ready to bet on yourself?

Edited November 9, 2021 by Splenda

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 656]

I'm so sorry you had to go through the panic, but I think its not uncommon. I consulted and started the process several times before I finally went through with surgery. For me, doing the mental and emotional work was the key. I wasn't ready before because I hadn't done the internal work. Maybe some time in therapy will help clarify your goals and needs? Best of luck to you!

[mrsjo 69]

On 11/09/2021 at 13:29, You Are My Sunshine said:

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...

And then I started to have a meltdown.

I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.

I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.

Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

I literally feel like I’m going to do this very thing! I’m 34 days out and feel in sheer panic and need to cancel. I’ve finally done so well with CrossFit and my diet and I am losing at a steady pace. Im terrified at times of the same things you mentioned. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know we will get to the place we need to be, surgery or not with whatever we decide to make peace with .

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

3 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

Do you feel like this is something that you still want to do? If so, maybe a bariatric therapist can help with the anxiety.

I have an appointment with them next week (set up ahead of time because I wanted the support in case I needed it). I'm not sure. I mean YES... I can't believe I went through all of this only to back out when I was literally almost on the table. But also NO because of how I felt this morning. I'm going to use this time to really evaluate that.

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

17 minutes ago, mrsjo said:

I don’t know what the answer is, but I know we will get to the place we need to be, surgery or not with whatever we decide to make peace with .

Yes, the making peace part is BIG. I know I don't want to be where I've been (weight/health/emotionally), and I'm going to keep working on that for sure. Wish you well, hon.

[ShoppGirl 4,785]

42 minutes ago, You Are My Sunshine said:

I have an appointment with them next week (set up ahead of time because I wanted the support in case I needed it). I'm not sure. I mean YES... I can't believe I went through all of this only to back out when I was literally almost on the table. But also NO because of how I felt this morning. I'm going to use this time to really evaluate that.

I am glad you have an appointment. Only you will know if the surgery is best for you and that seems like a great place to explore your feelings. Also, even if you decide not to do the surgery and to do it through diet and exercise, working on any disordered eating you maY have (if you do have any) will help you with that too. The bariatric therapist and nutritionist are two key components along with surgery for success so I’m sure they will be very helpful if you choose to do it on your own as well. And if you choose to have the surgery in the future you will be ahead of the game.

[BigSue 1,372]

I didn't cancel my surgery, but I started the preliminary steps to getting surgery about 15 years before I actually went through with it. I considered it again several times in between, and like so many people, I say in hindsight that I wish I had done it earlier, but I don't think I was really ready for it until I actually went through with it (July 2020). And I think if I had done it before I was really ready for it, my results wouldn't have been as good. it is a huge, life-altering decision, so I think if you felt such a strong sense that you weren't ready for it, it was probably the right decision to cancel/postpone.

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

14 hours ago, BigSue said:

And I think if I had done it before I was really ready for it, my results wouldn't have been as good.

I think that is one of my considerations. I'm ready tool-wise and education-wise, but I'm not 100% sure of my best result at this time in my life if I were to have complications, and maybe if I were not. I want the focus to be on best time for me for best result, not best time for insurance, or for an age milestone, etc. Not saying that's not workable for others, but I think my support base (internal/external) needs to be a bit wider than it is right now. I'm looking forward to talking with the psych about it.

I appreciate the insights others have given here as well!

[Maisey 260]

I didn't cancel but put the brakes on things when Covid kicked in. I work in a dangerous, congregate living setting where exposure to Covid was going to be an on-going issue. It gave me a chance to fully evaluate if I was making the right decision. I felt a sense of peace giving myself more time. Eventually, I decided to move forward with surgery and am glad I did.

Respect the decision you made for yourself. It sounds like you are doing everything necessary to make a final decision whatever that may be.