Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss weight

[FootballMom92 9]

Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 656]

Ignore her and do it for your sake. I know that sounds harsh, but the reality is, most of us can't lose the weight on our own and bariatric surgery is the tool that allows us to be successful long term. If she cannot understand that or, at the very least, respect and support your decision, then you don't need to include her in that decision and should more forward without her. It is certainly NOT the easy way out, but living a shortened life in an obese body isn't easy either. We all have to decide which "hard" we are going to live with. I'm so sorry you don't have the support you desire, but you will certainly get it here. Do what's best for you.

[lizonaplane 1,613]

Sometimes you have to do things other people don't agree with. It's hard, and you can try to educate her by having her read asmbs.org (lots of good resources). It's definitely not easy. I've been struggling and I haven't even had any complications! It's not guaranteed that you will keep your weight off with surgery, but you have no chance if you don't have surgery. (I lost 100 lbs 7 years ago but in 5 years gained almost all of it back; I knew I needed surgery to get a re-set on my metabolism.

But no matter how much research you show her, she may not be willing to support you, and you may have to decide to do it anyway. I am super close to my mom, so whenever I have to do something she disagrees with, it breaks my heart. But I would have done this even if my parents didn't agree. Fortunately, they were very supportive.

Good luck to you!

[vikingbeast 987]

The "easy way out"?

Bulls(p)it. Total bulls(p)it.

It is not the easy way out. It is a TOOL that you are being given to teach yourself how to interact with food from now on. It doesn't last forever. A lot of people think "oh well you got your stomach stapled so of course you're gonna lose weight" without knowing that you can absolutely stretch that pouch out.

Don't. Listen. To. Her. Mothers aren't always right. Do this for YOU, because you have an entire life to live. And when the weight is coming off you left and right and you're starting to ease back into the world, you'll have the best feeling in the world and it'll motivate you to keep going.

[ShoppGirl 4,844]

I still don’t understand why people think this is the easy way out. It is by no means easy. It’s doable, but definitely not easy. Everyday I have to make choices of what I put into my body and how many times I eat. If you chose to eat junk food or eat too many times a day you wouldn’t lose the weight. The surgery is a tool but you still have to do all the work. You may be able to educate her on the surgery or you may not be able to get her on board but you should still do this for you. Statistically they say that something like less than 5% of people with an obese BMI can lose the weight and keep it off. Im guessing you like so many of us have tried dieting and either can’t lose or gain it right back. Maybe if your mom came along with you to the doctor so she could express her concerns the doctor or the nurse practitioner could help you explain to her that this is not the easy way out and it is necessary for your health.

[Elidh 240]

FootballMom, I copied this graphic from another poster (possibly another forum). You might want to show it to your mom.

[OutdoorsGirl 93]

2 hours ago, FootballMom92 said:

Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

Just go for it.

[ShoppGirl 4,844]

16 minutes ago, Elidh said:

FootballMom, I copied this graphic from another poster (possibly another forum). You might want to show it to your mom.

I love this.

[oldandtired 238]

Then again, what she is saying may be mixed with worry about you going into surgery. Not all of us can articulate our feelings. Do what makes you happy.

[Smanky 747]

People who aren't obese cannot grasp what it's like or how difficult it is to change. As others have said, do it for you. You have support here.

NOTHING has been as hard as this. Calling this the "easy way out" is just pure ignorance. They think it's a magic wand which it is anything but.

[Arabesque 7,313]

I don’t understand why people who buy a gym membership get congratulated for deciding to improve their life & get healthier but you decide to have weight loss surgery, also just a tool, get criticised. I’m sorry your mum is not being supportive. You would expect your family to be your biggest supporter.

My mum supported me but she did struggle with my eating. ‘I don’t know what food to get when you come to stay,’ was a frequent comment. Which was a combination of her not understanding my plan & not wanting to jeopardise my success.

Like probably all of us, you’ve likely tried to ‘do it yourself’ & lose weight. Probably many times & also put the weight back on again. I certainly did. The difference this time was, with the help of the surgery, I was able to make sustainable changes to what I eat & understand why I ate. The physical restrictions & the support to analyse the psychology behind our eating is what will contribute to the success you may have.

Good luck. You can do this.

PS - that graphic is excellent @Elidh.

[catwoman7 11,214]

I'm 6.5 years out. This is NOT easy. I was very successful with it, but it is NOT easy. I struggle to maintain my weight every day.

[The Greater Fool 2,039]

Remind me, why is taking the easy way wrong?

Think about any other aspect of your life where taking the hard way is considered a virtue.

Every non-surgical weight loss program out there claims to be the easy way to lose weight.

I've yet to read a Weight Loss Surgery program that claims it's the easy way to lose weight.

I found my Weight Loss Surgery program to be the easy way to lose and keep weight lost. I found it to be the only way.

Good luck,

Tek

[Queen ApisM 427]

This isn't about her, it's about you.

Maybe this is her way of covering up her fears about you having surgery. Yes, there are risks, but the risks of being obese are much higher. Maybe she feels guilt for any role she may have had to your weight struggled (I am not saying she did, just that people have strange hang ups about things). Similarly, maybe she feels like you having surgery suggests something about her as a parent (again, not saying it does, just that people have all sorts of hang ups and this is one I can see being out there).

At the end of the day, you know what is right for you. And, calling this the "easy way out" is just asinine. Seriously, would anyone say that to a cancer patient getting chemo or surgery? Or a diabetes patient who needs insulin? No, they wouldn't. The data says that long term weight loss of significant amounts of weight is nigh impossible without surgery. This is the best tool in your toolbox to get you to a healthier you.

[LilaNicole20 252]

On 11/2/2021 at 4:11 PM, FootballMom92 said:

Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

It really stinks when you can't lean on one of your foundational support people. Sorry you're dealing with this.