Newbie here

[mooskielittle 0]

So i had my initial consultation. So i met my surgeon, my nurse practioner, and dietician, when i asked questions they had answers but since i left i feel like i didnt ask the right questions or not at all. So anyone willing to help me understand some things would be helpful.
A lil about me..
39yrs old, tubes tied after baby #4, im 5'4" and weight is 242.3 currently, but my highest was 302
mom of 4, divorced and now in a relationship for 4 yrs. Was a scrawny child (67# in 7th grade) ate candy/junkfood mostly my childhood, hit puberty gained a bit, met my ex husband and was in high school, began the sedintary lifestyle, began gaining weight and when i got pregnant at 17, i gained 107# in my 1st pregnancy. Never realized how big i was, never looked in a mirror w/ being depressed. Just kept gaining weight after each child, kept trying diets from watching my calories to only eating before 6p, to not eating anything except 1 time a day, i drank tons of Water etc... i stopped working to be the stay at home, homeschooling mom after i got pregnant with baby #4. He cheated n i decided enough was enough. He left me and i lost 102# in 3-4 months of being manic depressed. I slowly gained it back after 6 yrs. Not watching what i ate, going back to the workforce, eating everything on the go, fast food, dine in with kids, i am a massive sweet tooth, and i drank easily 100 oz of dr.pepper a day. I have not drank any pop since 9.29.21. I have started cooking my own meals. Portion Control is sooo hard, i could eat forever n either not ever get full or eat til i puke or close to it. I smoke 1-1.5 packs of cigarettes a day. Set to have gastric sleeve surgery after the 1st of the year, tbd based on covid rules.
My questions are...
1. What am i supposed to weigh before surgery? Is there x# of pounds or bmi im supposed to lose from the time of my consultation til my surgery?
2. What should my end weight goal be?
3. Can i really not have fruit, potatoes, corn, noodles or breads? These are huge things in my list of foods i would go to eat. I am a big sweet tooth n fruit is 1 way i would want to eat healthier.
4. Has anyone ever experienced any big side effects risks or complications? Ones drs dont usually discuss as risks til... bam u have been diagnosed.
5. Anyone know the death rate, complications or big risks being elevated with certain family backgrounds? Example... maternal family with several cancers?
6. What if i start smoking again?
7. What if i consume alcohol?
8. What if i think my 14 yr old needs this surgery?
Sent from my SM-N975U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Maisey 260]

Surgery alters your stomach, but it doesn't change your brain.

Programs and doctors' directives vary wildly.

[lizonaplane 1,612]

I think you should search for your questions here, or ask if you don't find answers but... as @Maisey said, our answers are based on what our surgery centers said, and programs differ A LOT, so definitely reach out to your surgery center.

Also, yes, the surgery doesn't change your brain, so if you have any emotional/binge eating, start seeing a therapist.

Best of luck, and welcom!

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 656]

1 hour ago, mooskielittle said:

My questions are...
1. What am i supposed to weigh before surgery? Is there x# of pounds or bmi im supposed to lose from the time of my consultation til my surgery?
2. What should my end weight goal be?
3. Can i really not have fruit, potatoes, corn, noodles or breads? These are huge things in my list of foods i would go to eat. I am a big sweet tooth n fruit is 1 way i would want to eat healthier.
4. Has anyone ever experienced any big side effects risks or complications? Ones drs dont usually discuss as risks til... bam u have been diagnosed.
5. Anyone know the death rate, complications or big risks being elevated with certain family backgrounds? Example... maternal family with several cancers?
6. What if i start smoking again?
7. What if i consume alcohol?
8. What if i think my 14 yr old needs this surgery?
Sent from my SM-N975U using BariatricPal mobile app

As others have said, these are all questions you should be bringing to your appointments. It might be helpful to keep a notebook with questions so you can jot them down as you think of them, and then bring them to your appointments. Don't feel like you need to know it ALL right now. This is a process and it takes time to get to a place where you are ready to commit. Do your research, find resources, as your questions. All totally normal. I would also STRONGLY suggest some counseling before you decide. It is absolutely imperative that you work through any trauma or baggage that might be contributing to unhealthy habits. Surgery is just a tool, it will only work as well as you are able to wield it. Making sure your mind is healthy is absolutely the best thing you can do to set yourself up for success. That being said, I took a stab just to help give you some guideposts.

1. What am i supposed to weigh before surgery? Is there x# of pounds or bmi im supposed to lose from the time of my consultation til my surgery? - This is program dependent. Some have a goal weight or BMI, others want you to loose xxx pounds before surgery. Ask your program.
2. What should my end weight goal be? - The expected weight loss with VSG and RNY is 60-80% of your excess weight. So, if you have 100lbs to lose to get to a healthy BMI, you can expect to lose 60-80 of those pounds. Some programs set a goal weight, others do not. Again, ask your program.
3. Can i really not have fruit, potatoes, corn, noodles or breads? These are huge things in my list of foods i would go to eat. I am a big sweet tooth n fruit is 1 way i would want to eat healthier. - Most programs do not say you can "never" have specific foods again. But there are a host of factors that determine what your long term eating habits will look like (what can you tolerate without feeling sick or having dumping, etc., are you hitting your Water and Protein goals, do you have any nutritional deficiencies, etc.). That being said, if you aren't ready to commit to long term changes, you may want to hold off. Sometime WLS requires we give up certain foods in order to be at our best. 
4. Has anyone ever experienced any big side effects risks or complications? Ones drs dont usually discuss as risks til... bam u have been diagnosed. - Yes, side effects can occur. Surgical complications include internal bleeding, leaks at the "seams," anesthesia issues, all the normal stuff. Post-op complications can include GERD, hiatal hernias, malnutrition, and other things. Research the possible complications so you are well informed and ask your surgial center what their complication and surgical infection rates are. Overall bariatric surgery is very safe, but all surgical procedures carry risks.
5. Anyone know the death rate, complications or big risks being elevated with certain family backgrounds? Example... maternal family with several cancers? - See above, surgically very safe. All of this is available online, just do some scholarly Googling and, as always, as your program.
6. What if i start smoking again? - Just don't. It will kill you just as fast as obesity. Learn new coping mechanisms, go to therapy, pick up a hobby. From a surgical perspective, smoking greatly increases the risk of complications and can greatly increase recovery time.
7. What if i consume alcohol? - This is a combo of personal and program. Most programs have a strict prohibition for a period of time, others say try not to drink ever. In the end, its empty calories and you will get drunk MUCH faster than you did pre-op. Plan to abstain for a good long time.
8. What if i think my 14 yr old needs this surgery? - Talk to their pediatrician and get them into counseling. Do NOT rush into that. This is a major, life altering surgery and could be massively traumatizing for a child.

[Smanky 747]

Sleeve_me_alone covered it all brilliantly, and I agree that these are questions you need to write down and take to your next appointment.

Only thing I want to add is I'm an ex-smoker (2 and a half years quit), and my surgeon warned me that smoking again, or even passive smoking, runs a massive risk of developing ulcers in my new pouch and joins. Not that I had ever intended to smoke again given how LONG it took me to be free of the damn stuff, but the fear of that complication will ensure I run a mile.

[Sabrinahummer86 5]

What are some good options for pre op foods