So Disappointed In Myself...

[lizzie_07 0]

I went on this forum trying to gain a vast understanding of how my recovery would be once I got the band. I prepared myself for "bandster hell" and knew it could be a very demotivating factor for me, but I hoped that since this was my chance to turn my weight around that I would be strong and stick to the program. When I started mushies 3 weeks ago I immediately put on 2-3lbs even though I was eating the right amount. As my discouragment continued and my weight stayed the same I felt more and more defeated and started increasing my intake. I'm so ashamed to admit that I'm almost back to my surgery weight and cannot bring myself to change my ticker. I'm scared that I stretched my pouch or hurt my band. I get my first fill next week, so I guess I'm just hoping for some advice or support. I've lived my whole life saying I'd lose weight and then disappointing myself and I can't believe that I'm doing it again. Wow, it's so upsetting just writing this...sorry for the downer msg. Just had to get it out I guess and admit it to myself..

[hungryforchange 0]

I'm two weeks out and still on liquids so I'm not all that experienced. I only know what I have read. I am curious if you are working out and if you are getting proper amounts of Protein. Those two things seem to be key to continuing the weight loss and keeping away the hunger.

I'm sorry that you're feeling sad, but I'm sure once you get a fill and your band starts working you'll drop the weight!

[Sades 4]

Sorry to hear that Lizzie, I would be feeling the same if that happened to me. It's not easy if you don't have restriction. You just have to put this negativity behind you and get back to it. It's important that you talk to your doctor about this when you get your fill next week. I'm sure he'll say you're not the first person this has happened to. Change your ticker, you won't be judged here, just supported because "here by the grace of god go we". Don't be hard on yourself, just use this energy towards making this a positive experience. Take care.

[nubeginnings 0]

Lizzie, I can completely relate to everything you stated. I was banded 8/07 and gained all the presurgery weight back plus more. I was so embarrassed that I stayed away from posting on this website until I felt I had something "positive or successful" to say. I had my first fill 10/07 with a Dr that is extrememly conservative towards fills. The rational was to determine how my body reacts to fills before going aggressive. I felt no restriction and continued to eat and gain weight...leading me to feel more stressed and depressed. It's tough reading about people who were banded and never looked back. Relying on my own willpower never worked in the past for me and even though I went under the knife wasn't magiacally working this time either. I returned for my 2nd fill one week ago and basically cried on the Dr.'s shoulder that I was a failure. He reassured me that with more fills that I would finally feel restriction and my life would begin to change. But, yes, I had to make the decision to make some changes. It has only been one week after the 2nd fill but I'm already making some changes (pretty much I'm being forced to) Feeling restirction is no joke!! I can't bulk eat even though my brain is telling me to. I can't shovel food in as fast as I can because the restriction kicks my butt! I attempted to "mindlessly eat" while talking on the phone. Bad idea! I put too much into my mouth at one time and didnt chew a million times. I had to get off the phone and basically hit the floor on my hands and knees waiting for the pain to go away. Needless to say once the feeling passed, I didn't want to eat anymore, wrapped the food up and put back in the fridge. That was after just one bite of my food. It scared me enough to refuse to eat while talking on the phone or while rushing. Unfortunately, I am that hard headed where I need the pain to keep me from stuffing my face. I need consequences to win this fight. And now I am convinced that I have the tool that will help me. This entire week has been miraculous for me. The pain has taken the joy out of eating for me. I'm being forced to find other ways to occupy my time because eating is such a chore now. The pain or the effort to chew a million times to avoid the pain is not worth it, especially if I'm not even hungry. This is what I asked for, this is what I paid for, and I am ecstatic that it's finally happening for me. Getting started is a long process but it's necessary to make sure that everything has healed correctly. And yes, I was eating food right after my surgery when I should have been on liquids. I really did try but eventually gave up. We're all in this for the long haul. And you will have your success on your own time. Hope my experience has helped. Good luck to you and don't give up.

[DrWatkins 5]

Lizzie, don't be so hard on yourself. The stomach tissue swelling that may have given you some restriction and therefore appetite suppression after surgery is gone at this point. This is the classic time of maximal frustration after gastric band surgery. Give yourself a break. Once you've had your first fill and are perfectly adjusted, you'll be full on small meals, not hungry all the time and the dieting mentality (and being hard on yourself) will be over. Hang in there. You're doing better than you think. Focus on the fact that you're in the healing phase. The weight loss phase begins after your first fill. Celebrate the fact that you have this powerful tool healing inside that is going to help you achieve your goals like never before.

[Dave01 0]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Make sure you are loading up on Protein and liquids. They really help if you feel hungry. Just dont dwell on the past too much. You can get back on track and do just fine. I kinda fell off my routine for the last week with dad in the hospital and stuff, but am back at it. Please dont be too discouraged if you dont feel restriction after your first fill. And a call to your dr or nutritionist may help also. What has worked well for me is " when hungry, walk"

Good luck, keep the faith and it will all work out....Dave

[kacee 3]

"Once you've had your first fill and are perfectly adjusted"

Word of warning here. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT ASSUME that first fill equals good restriction. More often than not that is NOT the case. Many of us did not feel ANY restriction until our 3rd-5th fills, and this is not unusual. What you are experiencing is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Until you get your restriction (and it could be a while depending on your doctor and how he does his fills) your band is NOT WORKING for you. They don't call it "Bandster Hell" for nothing, but THIS WILL PASS. This is NOT an omen of things to come, at all. We ALL go through this on many levels. It is strictly a PHASE you are going through, albiet a frustrating one. Do the BEST YOU CAN right now. If you are hungry, by all means EAT, but just try to eat the better choices. Don't fret over weight loss right now. This will come.

[Longhorn 1]

Lizzie:

We have a new member who is a lap band doctor. Check out his post on another thread: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f84/3-weeks-after-surgery-46780/#post649397

We are in the healing phase and not the weight-loss phase. Yes, it's tough to see others lose but this isn't a competition. I've read stories here about some who have gone through what you're going through who ended up losing quickly once they got restriction. It's hard to be patient but there's nothing to be ashamed about.

You've received some good advice on this thread and by sharing your feelings, you've probably helped countless others who are going through the same thing. This is a support board -- try to take advantage of the support you've received and keep trying! :hug:

[DrWatkins 5]

There are certainly different styles and opinions regarding fills. My opinion is that if you are still hungry and can eat a lot after your first fill then more saline should be added until it's perfect. The sooner it's perfect, the sooner you are on your way to superstar status.

If you put it in simplest terms:

Too loose = hungry, can eat a lot, feel like you're on a diet, "band not working", maximus frustrationus

Too tight = everything wants to come back up, heartburn especially at night, all food consistencies even well-chewed will be seen again shortly

Just right = easily lose 1-2 pounds per week (or maintain once at goal), full on small meals, not hungry between meals, think your surgeon is a miracle worker, send your gastric band practice a Christmas card that will bring tears to your eyes

[Longhorn 1]

There are certainly different styles and opinions regarding fills. My opinion is that if you are still hungry and can eat a lot after your first fill then more saline should be added until it's perfect. The sooner it's perfect, the sooner you are on your way to superstar status.

If you put it in simplest terms:

Too loose = hungry, can eat a lot, feel like you're on a diet, "band not working", maximus frustrationus

Too tight = everything wants to come back up, heartburn especially at night, all food consistencies even well-chewed will be seen again shortly

Just right = easily lose 1-2 pounds per week (or maintain once at goal), full on small meals, not hungry between meals, think your surgeon is a miracle worker, send your gastric band practice a Christmas card that will bring tears to your eyes

Well, speak of the devil! You're the new member I was talking about! Welcome and thanks for your advice! We appreciate you taking the time to share with us. :clap2:

[LovingWhatIs 0]

Lizzie,

I gained weight post-surgical too, until my second fill. My doctor said, "Lisa don't worry, you haven't started the weight loss phase yet and actually the fact that you can eat like you used to tells me that you are healing well and the swelling has abated and are almost ready for your first fill".

This changed everything. I felt great about it! I had my first fill on Oct. 31st and my third adjustment 2 weeks ago. I now REMEMBER WHY I GOT THIS BAND! I have great restriction, a very small appetite and am loving it now that I am used to eating slowly. There were a few blips retraining myself not to pound food, but hang in there - it gets WONDERFUL!

[DrWatkins 5]

It's fun to help people who are working hard to accomplish amazing things.

[LovingWhatIs 0]

Just right = easily lose 1-2 pounds per week (or maintain once at goal), full on small meals, not hungry between meals, think your surgeon is a miracle worker, send your gastric band practice a Christmas card that will bring tears to your eyes

:bounce: Doc, this is hllarious!

In Gratitude for Your Service to struggling folks everywhere,

Lisa

[-acl- 0]

Lizzie

All I wanted to say is Hang In There!

There is a great support network here for you.:hug:

Amy

[babs0101 1]

Hang in there!! I too gained. It took till my second fill before I got good restriction. I had none with my first fill, but was able to go for my second just three weeks after. Now I'm perfect!! It will come, yup, it sure will!