Getting Closer to VSG & Having Second Thoughts

[SelfLoveJourney 7]

Hi Everyone! I am here for some advice, input, personal stories, etc. I am a 46 year old female and started my WLS journey back in March. My surgeon approved me as a candidate for VSG and my insurance required 6 months of nutritional counseling. I have also gone through the psych eval and EGD. I have my final pre-op with the surgeon next week and then she submits everything to my insurance company for authorization. I am starting to have serious doubts about going through surgery. I am terrified of losing my hair. I am perimenopausal and have hypothyroidism so my hair is already thin. I am also just scared in general of the procedure, and any possible side effects. Does anyone regret having surgery? Anyone ever get this close and cancel? I'm just a ball of nerves and honestly don't know if I'm making the right decision.

[NiceAnkles 147]

Having second and third and fourth thoughts are normal! It’s all part of making a huge life change. I know most people have Hair loss and there doesn’t seem to be much to do about it except wait it out. You may just have to weigh the health benefits of the hair loss vs all the other improvements WLS will bring. Good luck with your decision. I know it’s not easy!

[Officially Not Fatty Matty 461]

I wouldn’t ask for input from only people who had regrets and/or canceled, because… well that’s all you’re going to hear about and you’ll definitely not go through with it (which is fine, it’s your choice of course).
I’d ask “can everyone here who is at least a year post op give me a “would do it again” or “would not do it again” please”
This forum is a great place. It really is. There are tons of helpful people, funny people, honest people. The downside to a forum like this is it’s much more common for someone who is having a problem to post a question looking for help or advice or just to vent. It vastly skews the perception of the number and severity of problems. The reality is for most people surgery works and works well at achieving sustained weight loss. Very few people statistically have what I would call a major complication. When compared to the statistics of complications (or co-morbidities) of being obese, it’s not even a fair contest.
You are not alone in having worries and doubts though, not by a long shot. I had them too, many of us did. But I didn’t cancel and I most definitely do NOT regret having surgery. It was probably the best true free will choice I’ve ever made in my life… no, it definitely was. Being a guy who doesn’t care about his hair, I can’t share my advice about Hair loss. It’s a thing that can happen. It didn’t happen to me, but again I wouldn’t have cared if I lost all my hair, I’d have done this again without a second thought. In fact, I would go so far as to say that… based on how GREAT I feel today, even if I had a major complication that required hospitalization post op, I would still go through with it knowing what I know now. I wish I did this years ago, but I didn’t. I feel like I lost some of the best years with myself, my kids, just in general…

The following is a cheeze-ball comment but it’s true….
This new me… this is the me that was hiding inside a fat suit almost all of my life… sad, pretty lonely, afraid to come out and just enjoy life like I am now. I wish I met him when I was younger. I wish I was strong enough to do this on my own at a much younger age, but in the end I don’t care how this new me got here… I’m here and I’m not going back inside that fat suit ever again. I am 46 and feel like I’m about to turn 27.
I wish you the best, no matter what you decide. But don’t only look for the negatives, because that’s what you’ll find. There’s a lot of us “hell yah I’d do this again!!” people out there, we’re just quiet about it in general compared to the people who do really need help getting through a tough spot.

[lizonaplane 1,612]

I'm about 10 days from surgery, and the nerves are REAL, but I'm not having second thoughts. I am not thrilled with the idea of losing my hair, but I figure, if it looks too bad, I'll get a wig and try out a hairstyle I've never thought about. For me, that's not a big issue, although I would say that my hair is not thin to begin with, and I trust them when they say it grows back (my hair is buzzed on one side and short on the other). I have fears of becoming too sick to travel or do my job, but hair is just window dressing as far as I'm concerned.

I want to do this surgery so I can be more active and be more comfortable doing my job and traveling and playing with my nieces and nephews.

[njlimmer 343]

I'm 47 and had my surgery in March, and while the Hair loss is real along with the loose skin, I would absolutely do it again. I actually started losing in October so I've lost a total of 115 - 70 of that since surgery - and while I have a few seconds of - oh look at that - or well, there's more hair, honestly, fitting into my oldest daughter's clothes takes that right away. I am no longer diabetic. This summer, I got to ride roller coasters and kept up with my family on vacation.

Nerves are real. I had them. I think almost everyone does. But I would do it again, and I had a freak reaction to a shot that shouldn't have been a problem that needed 4 extra days in the hospital and a second surgery - and I would STILL do it again. Everyone is different though, and you have to do what's best for YOU.

[Anj0399 61]

Had the same thoughts right up until the day of surgery. My urge to be healthier outweighed all my worries the day of surgery. Now, I am so happy I went through with it. I’m down 48 lbs (33lbs since surgery 2 months ago) and feel so much better mentally and physically. I can ride a bike again and walk faster and farther than I’ve been able to in years. Also I’m off a few meds I no longer need. Whatever your final decision is, I wish you the best!!!

[vikingbeast 987]

I'm about a week away from surgery and I know these feelings are real!

But I'm here to say I got past that. I got past that by looking at this site and at the people who've changed their whole lives. I got past that by looking at the things I want to be able to do (I have a whole list, written in purple dry-erase on the whiteboard next to my desk in my home office). And by talking to a friend who went through it.

It's normal to have the freak-outs. "Will I ever be able to eat like a normal human?" (yes, but not in the quantities you used to) "Will it work for me?" (yes, if you put in the work to use this tool) "Will I wake up a hideous half-dragon creature with a blue tongue and scales? " (almost certainly not)

[SelfLoveJourney 7]

Thank you ALL so much for your input, reflections, insight and for sharing your own personal experiences. I have read and re-read each and every post and I am taking it all in. I suppose if we didn't feel nervous about going through a life changing surgery, that would be an entirely different concern. But I truly appreciate you all taking the time to share your experiences and thoughts. Thank you!!! I have alot to think about

Edited September 3, 2021 by SelfLoveJourney

[Elidh 239]

My advice is. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT! I would do it over again in a heartbeat. I am happier than I have been in many many years.

[catwoman7 11,212]

zero regrets. I'd do it again in a heart beat, and I should have done it years ago. I sat on the decision for ten years, for the same reasons you are, but I'm so glad I finally decided to go through with it.

It's very common for pre-ops and early post-ops to be terrified about Hair loss, but most people who are a ways out will tell you that in the grand scheme of things, the hair loss phase was more-or-less just a temporary annoyance. Losing the excess weight FAR outweighs the temporary hair loss. Besides, for many of us, the hair loss isn't enough for others to notice (although WE notice it!). I really didn't lose all that much hair - so I know no one else noticed it.

major complications aren't that common. Some of us have no complications at all - and for those who have them, most are minor. You're much more likely to develop complications from being obese than you are from weight loss surgery.

[Stalled 32]

4 years post VSG. No regrets. I was 310 lbs at 22 years old. I'm now ~230 lbs but at one point I was down to ~198 lbs. I didn't have any Hair loss, but I have very thick hair anyway. I have PCOS so my hormones are messed up anyway too so I was on birth control for the extra estrogen, this could have helped prevent hair loss. My mom had the surgery (same doctor and procedure) at 51 about a year before I did. She has naturally thin hair and was post-menopausal. She didn't lose hair either. It really is just chance and your hormones (particularly cortisol and estrogen/testosterone ratios). You can talk to your doctor about your medical options to help lessen hair loss. But if you do have hair loss, I think you should just embrace it! It will only last a couple of months (usually) and then it will start growing back. But this could be your opportunity to do something to your hair that you've never done before, cut it super short, dye it as close to your skin color as possible can sometimes disguise hair loss, add hair accessories, etc.

Neither of us had complications, she even had a hernia fixed for free at the same time! I was up and walking around within hours of waking up. My mom was walking laps the next day (she isn't that great with anesthesia).

If I hadn't gotten the surgery I have no doubt I would have been recruited for "My 600 lb life" by now.

Edited September 4, 2021 by Stalled

[MandoGetsSleeved 443]

1 year post op - ZERO regrets. Hair loss - From about month 3-4 until about 7-8 for me. At around 8-9 months it all started growing back and you would never know it was thinned out some. On the plus side, it dried a HECK of a lot faster than it does now.

[ms.sss 15,593]

*raises hand*

I cancelled. Twice.

I was approved in March 2017, and backed out TWICE out of fear and/or laziness until I finally just said eff it, I'm doing it, and had it done in Oct 2018. I was 46.

Looking back i wish I just got it done the first time as I would have had had over a full extra year of being "normal" sized. In fact, I wish I had it done when I qualified for it back around 2012, when I reached the morbid obesity range.

Better late than never, I say.

Yes, I did lose quite a bit of hair, but its all back now (plus some!) at 3 years out. Would I go through those few months of thin hair again to look as fab as I do now? H*lls, YEAH. Temporary thinning hair was an infinitesimally small, tiny, minuscule, insignificant price to pay.

Yes, I was scared. I remember starting to tear up when they put the anaesthesia mask on me. I also remember thinking to myself, "YESSSSS! I'm alive!!!" when I woke up in the recovery room.

The way I see it, I just wasn't ready until I was ready. And when I finally was, it was all downhill from there.

So no, I do not regret it one iota.

You will find a few folks on here who DO regret it, but really, their experiences (nor mine, for that matter) will not give you any indication of how YOU will fare.

You won't know until you know.

Good Luck! ❤️

Edited September 4, 2021 by ms.sss

[Arabesque 7,247]

It’s okay to have some concerns. It’s a surgery you’ve never experienced before. You have nothing to compare it or life post surgery with. The reality is the complications are pretty low especially compared with other surgeries or just from being obese. Many are minor & are related to how you individually react & heal & they pass in time or are easily remedied.

Yep, the Hair loss can be a bit scary but it’s a short term side effect: 3-4 months usually. While your natural hair loss cycle is temporarily accelerated your natural new growth cycle remain unchanged. So while you’re losing more you’re still growing new hair - it just takes a couple of months for the new growth to get to a length you can notice it (likely as fluffy bits). I mean you don’t usually notice your new hair growing in but it is all the time. No one noticed my hair loss other than my hairdresser & my mum but she was looking for it. I’d so much rather temporarily lose some hair then still be obese - small price to pay really. Much like ending up with loose skin - loose skin wins over obesity every time.

All the best & I hope you get your official approval soon.

Edited September 4, 2021 by Arabesque

[SelfLoveJourney 7]

Thank you, everyone!! I appreciate you all sharing your insight with me. It means a lot