Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Hurtful comments



Recommended Posts

So I was telling my brother about how I’m doing well on the pre-op liquid diet (down 14 lbs in 10 days!) and he says “Just think, if you’d just do that regularly you wouldn’t have to go through surgery.”

I know its just ignorance and he doesn’t get it, but it still hurts. Feeling down on myself right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ask him if could handle a liquid diet or how he would like to be on one for an extended amount of time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have stopped telling people what I'm doing. I had a nurse friend—a nurse, for crying out loud!—who thought it was cheating because she literally thought I was going in for some kind of large-scale liposuction and was going to come out the hospital with abs. Other people have told me horror stories.

So I'm not going to tell anyone else. I've started telling people I'll be out for hernia repair surgery, which may or may not be true. I'll find a different way to explain the tiny portions of food.

In the meantime—remember this: your surgeon is giving you a tool to help you with THE most restrictive diet you or anyone you know has ever followed. The gift of not feeling that awful gnawing hunger, the gift of literally not being able to fall off the wagon while you figure your stuff out.

And anyone who decides to poop on that deserves any tongue lashing you want to dish out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he thinks the liquid diet is so easy, invite him to join you during your first post-op week. It should be no problem, right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, vikingbeast said:

I have stopped telling people what I'm doing. I had a nurse friend—a nurse, for crying out loud!—who thought it was cheating because she literally thought I was going in for some kind of large-scale liposuction and was going to come out the hospital with abs. Other people have told me horror stories.

So I'm not going to tell anyone else. I've started telling people I'll be out for hernia repair surgery, which may or may not be true. I'll find a different way to explain the tiny portions of food.

In the meantime—remember this: your surgeon is giving you a tool to help you with THE most restrictive diet you or anyone you know has ever followed. The gift of not feeling that awful gnawing hunger, the gift of literally not being able to fall off the wagon while you figure your stuff out.

And anyone who decides to poop on that deserves any tongue lashing you want to dish out.

Just look at how many people on this forum think they should of come out of surgery skinny! You see posts all the time...I only lost xxx number of pounds since surgery, I thought it would come off faster! I didn't tell anyone until after I had surgery because I didn't want to hear their opinions and frankly, I think I had that fear of once again being a weightless "failure."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell your brother, "True, I've eaten too much in the past -- but at least I haven't put my foot in my mouth today."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I recommend you just ignore him.

And when you're feeling down, imagine how good you'll feel three months, six months, or a year after surgery. You'll be looking and feeling better and buying smaller clothes every few months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know what’s even better then losing weight? The amazing amount of confidence you gain after! In no time negative comments won’t even phase you. I think we can all lose weight but doing it in a fealty way and keeping it off this time is what will make all the difference of having the surgery vs diets etc. good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I was telling my brother about how I’m doing well on the pre-op liquid diet (down 14 lbs in 10 days!) and he says “Just think, if you’d just do that regularly you wouldn’t have to go through surgery.”

I know its just ignorance and he doesn’t get it, but it still hurts. Feeling down on myself right now.

i dunno why your brother would say that. And thats not right, my brother told my mom (not to my face) thats WLS is a waste that will regain the weight. Hes told her twice and his wife once! That made me mad because what does he care and cant wonder if its envy? My date is Sep 20 tentatively, if hospital allows it, due to delta.

Sent from my SM-G973U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I was telling my brother about how I’m doing well on the pre-op liquid diet (down 14 lbs in 10 days!) and he says “Just think, if you’d just do that regularly you wouldn’t have to go through surgery.”

I know its just ignorance and he doesn’t get it, but it still hurts. Feeling down on myself right now.

My brother (and sister) hates fat people and told me he hates that I took the easy way out with having surgery instead of "putting the work into it and just stop eating so much". Mind you, this is coming from a controlling a-hole who has a huge stomach as well AND wants to me talk to his own daughter and 10 year old granddaughter about them gaining too much weight. Like they don't know! Like they should do it because of the way he feels! His own granddaughter is afraid to eat in front of him! He makes comments to her. How can you do that to a young child you're supposed to care about? He cuts his own wife down as well. But doesn't look in his own mirror!! There's been a lot more and I've since disowned him. Sometimes you have to stay away from negative people for your own mental health. But you do you. Not telling you what you do, just saying I understand. Best of luck. Stay positive.

Sent from my SM-G781U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×