Tips for Dealing with a Rude Surgeon?

[Soon2bFit21 109]

I have my 16 week follow up appointment with my surgeon next week and have anxiety even thinking about it. My surgeon is downright rude, demeaning, and dismissive. I’ve lost 62lbs in 15 weeks yet every time I visit he mentions a phantom weight that I started at (15lbs less than my actual REAL pre surgery weight) and discredits the amount of weight I’ve lost. I’ve asked where he got this number from and I’m just told “this is what we have in your chart” (from where?!) I’m told that I need to weight 150lbs to be healthy. At 5’11 I would have to lose 20lbs of lean mass and be zero percent body fat to weight this - aka dead! My labs are all perfect, I no longer require a CPAP, and my blood pressure is normal. I did not have many health issues prior to VSG so this is not contingent upon me gaining my health back.

I’m also told I should be doing 300 mins a week of cardio. At my age with rheumatoid arthritis, that’s simply not possible. I do cardio 5x a week for 20-30 mins at a time and lift weights 4 days a week. I feel like I am making good progress despite having a couple stalls along the way.

Saying I come out of the office feeling defeated and unworthy is an understatement. I don’t get it, and I don’t understand the point of making patients feel this way. I’ve been a nurse for 20 years and normally have a thick skin, but these visits always leave me feeling like I’ve not done enough.

[GreenTealael 25,385]

Ask for a witness or advocate to be in the room with you (if done in person) or screen record the appointment (let your surgeon know you are doing it for your records) and see if the tone changes

[kristieshannon 1,657]

Also, my office has PAs and ARNPs that do some of the follow up visits. Would that be an option for you?

[Creekimp13 5,840]

Simple fix. Switch doctors. And write him up on every patient opinion site you can find. He sounds like a turd who wants to bolster his image with you looking as thin as possible regardless of how unhealthy it might be for you. You are not his personal bulletin board and his behavior is not only dreadful, it reinforces disordered eating that can lead to future gain. Find a new bariatric group. Wouldn't surprise me if another group near you has others of his refugees. Run. Today.

[Soon2bFit21 109]

On 07/21/2021 at 15:13, kristieshannon said:

Also, my office has PAs and ARNPs that do some of the follow up visits. Would that be an option for you?

Unfortunately they only do follow ups with the surgeon that performed the procedure. They do have a NP but he takes care of the pre op side of things with diet only.

[Soon2bFit21 109]

On 07/21/2021 at 16:28, Creekimp13 said:

Simple fix. Switch doctors. And write him up on every patient opinion site you can find. He sounds like a turd who wants to bolster his image with you looking as thin as possible regardless of how unhealthy it might be for you. You are not his personal bulletin board and his behavior is not only dreadful, it reinforces disordered eating that can lead to future gain. Find a new bariatric group. Wouldn't surprise me if another group near you has others of his refugees. Run. Today.

Prior to my surgery, I did look elsewhere because I was so frustrated with the process. The experience with the center in general has been a horrible experience that just became worse after surgery. At this point I believe I only have one more follow up in 6 more months and then I’m on my own (which I am completely ok with). I completely agree on putting reviews on every outlet possible to warn others.

[Elidh 240]

Ugh. You deserve so much better. I’d switch to a new doc if you get the chance.

[catwoman7 11,216]

150 lbs at 5'11"? That's a BMI of 20.9. Only 10-15% of bariatric patients make it to a normal BMI, let alone one that low in the range. Plus 62 lbs in 15 weeks is really good progress! I think this guy is insane.

[catwoman7 11,216]

P.S. I'd take a friend or family member with me to the appt - and since your last post-op with him is at the six-month mark, maybe you could just ask the clinic what lab tests you need done annually, and have your PCP do them from then on out.

[Hop_Scotch 1,632]

Sounds like he is more concerned about his surgery stats than he is your health.

I don't know if you have or will have a lot of excess skin, but if you do, his goal weight probably doesn't factor in the weight of that excess skin, and you'd be even leaner.

[Soon2bFit21 109]

On 07/21/2021 at 19:23, catwoman7 said:

150 lbs at 5'11"? That's a BMI of 20.9. Only 10-15% of bariatric patients make it to a normal BMI, let alone one that low in the range. Plus 62 lbs in 15 weeks is really good progress! I think this guy is insane.

I’ve brought up the BMI issue with him before, especially considering I spent many years bodybuilding and have more muscle mass than most. It’s immediately dismissed and he just refers back to general BMI guidelines and says that should be my goal weight for health. It’s like he won’t accept my prior history with being physically active either, he always seems shocked that I wasn’t sedentary my entire life and that’s why I was obese. I know my activity history is in my chart and I bring this up every visit but nope, still nothing. Directly after I had my surgery he said I had the most developed ab muscles he’s had on a patient, yet still said “the majority of my patients don’t get so obese by being physically active, they sit around doing nothing” 🙄

[Soon2bFit21 109]

On 07/21/2021 at 19:28, catwoman7 said:

P.S. I'd take a friend or family member with me to the appt - and since your last post-op with him is at the six-month mark, maybe you could just ask the clinic what lab tests you need done annually, and have your PCP do them from then on out.

This is a great idea on bringing someone with me. My GP has been very supportive of the process and I’m sure she would be willing to run the labs needed for rechecks.