What should I aim for in terms of healthy goal weight?

[PolkSDA 116]

2 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

Do you feel that you will "look" how you want to look at 225? And congrats on your excellent weight loss!

In all honesty, I really don't care how I look. It's how I feel that matters to me. I've never really been interested in how others perceive me (hence my being a lifelong bachelor utterly oblivious to fashion/hair styles). I dress for comfort, not other people's opinions, and this journey has been about my health and my comfort and mobility; how I feel physically. If someone else likes the appearance of the "new me" compared to the old, that's fine and dandy, but that's never been a goal unto itself.

Lowering the initial weight goal is more about "ok, that goal may have been reasonable at the time, but given the progress thus far, I think I can do better."

But again, it's about me, not anyone else. I'm just an old fart that's set in his ways enough to not really care about how others think I look. Some may consider that self-centered... but that's a them problem, not a me problem.

*shrug*

[ShoppGirl 4,790]

4 minutes ago, PolkSDA said:

In all honesty, I really don't care how I look. It's how I feel that matters to me. I've never really been interested in how others perceive me (hence my being a lifelong bachelor utterly oblivious to fashion/hair styles). I dress for comfort, not other people's opinions, and this journey has been about my health and my comfort and mobility; how I feel physically. If someone else likes the appearance of the "new me" compared to the old, that's fine and dandy, but that's never been a goal unto itself.

Lowering the initial weight goal is more about "ok, that goal may have been reasonable at the time, but given the progress thus far, I think I can do better."

But again, it's about me, not anyone else. I'm just an old fart that's set in his ways enough to not really care about how others think I look. Some may consider that self-centered... but that's a them problem, not a me problem.

*shrug*

I don’t think it’s self centered at all. I think its far more self centered to think that others really care about how we look to begin with. That being said. I admit that I sometimes care what others think more than I should. Lol

Edited June 2, 2021 by ShoppGirl

[lizonaplane 1,612]

Just now, PolkSDA said:

In all honesty, I really don't care how I look. It's how I feel that matters to me. I've never really been interested in how others perceive me (hence my being a lifelong bachelor utterly oblivious to fashion/hair styles). I dress for comfort, not other people's opinions, and this journey has been about my health and my comfort and mobility; how I feel physically. If someone else likes the appearance of the "new me" compared to the old, that's fine and dandy, but that's never been a goal unto itself.

Lowering the initial weight goal is more about "ok, that goal may have been reasonable at the time, but given the progress thus far, I think I can do better."

But again, it's about me, not anyone else. I'm just an old fart that's set in his ways enough to not really care about how others think I look. Some may consider that self-centered... but that's a them problem, not a me problem.

*shrug*

LOL. I don't care how others perceive my appearance and I am decidedly an old spinster, but I care what I look like in the mirror. You said that at 178 you would be "emaciated" so I wondered if you liked what you see in the mirror or not. Yes, I agree it's more important how you feel, so maybe I should rephrase this as, do you FEEL good at the weight you're at now?

[lizonaplane 1,612]

5 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

I don’t think it’s self centered at all. I think its far more self centered to think that others really care about how we look to begin with. That being said. I admit that I sometimes care what others think more than I should. Lol

I agree. I feel sorry for people who don't wear bathing suits at the pool or beach because they worry people are staring at them. No one cares enough to stare at them. I've worn a swimsuit at my highest and lowest weights and never noticed anyone staring at me. I just noticed the bottom of the pool cause I was swimming!

[catwoman7 11,212]

2 hours ago, PolkSDA said:

That "ideal" calculation is really too simple, isn't it? It doesn't factor in frame width, being "big boned", etc. Two people can be the same height but have vastly different frames/structures. I'm 6'1", which by the above calculation sets my ideal weight at 178 pounds. I would look absolutely emaciated at that weight, given that my frame is fairly wide/broad-shouldered.

Depending on your body type, these sorts of formulas can create some really unrealistic (and unhealthy) expectations IMO, especially if people take the concept of "ideal" as a target to strive for... in the vast majority of cases that ideal, i.e., 100% of excess weight lost, is not realistic.

yes - it's simplistic. It may give you a ballpark, but ideal weights will vary a lot depending on so many things. My mother-in-law and I are both 5'6". She's always weighed in the 115-125-ish range. When I got down into the 130s a couple of years after my RNY, I looked like hell. No way could I have looked healthy if I weighed what she does. I actually look my best at around 150. But I have big, heavy bones and I'm very muscular. She has these little bird bones. She's probably look fat at 150. That's probably why BMI ranges are so wide - I think the normal range for someone my height is 114-154 (I know the top number for sure - not sure on the 114 because there's no way in a million years I'd ever be there, so it's irrelevant to me)

also, my dietitian said that she doesn't pay that much attention to BMI ranges with bariatric patients because a lot of us have heavier bones and muscle than people who've never been severely obese since we needed that infrastructure to hold up all that weight. Of course, you lose some bone and muscle during the weight loss (and it's fine - you won't need all that anymore) - but you'll likely still have some of it when you get to goal - or moreso than someone at the same weight who's never been obese before. And of course, that extra bone and muscle means extra weight...

[lizonaplane 1,612]

5 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

yes - it's simplistic. It may give you a ballpark, but ideal weights will vary a lot depending on so many things. My mother-in-law and I are both 5'6". She's always weighed in the 115-125-ish range. When I got down into the 130s a couple of years after my RNY, I looked like hell. No way could I have looked healthy if I weighed what she does. I actually look my best at around 150. But I have big, heavy bones and I'm very muscular. She has these little bird bones. She's probably look fat at 150. That's probably why BMI ranges are so wide - I think the normal range for someone my height is 114-154 (I know the top number for sure - not sure on the 114 because there's no way in a million years I'd ever be there, so it's irrelevant to me)

also, my dietitian said that she doesn't pay that much attention to BMI ranges with bariatric patients because a lot of us have heavier bones and muscle than people who've never been severely obese since we needed that infrastructure to hold up all that weight. Of course, you lose some bone and muscle during the weight loss (and it's fine - you won't need all that anymore) - but you'll likely still have some of it when you get to goal - or moreso than someone at the same weight who's never been obese before. And of course, that extra bone and muscle means extra weight...

This is very helpful. I'm going crazy trying to figure out a "goal weight" but I just don't know what will feel good to me. I've almost always been overweight, at least since I was 14 and most of my childhood as well. I got down to about 180/size 12/14 in my 30s for about 6 months, which was amazing but I still had a lot to go. My face looked very good at that weight. I'm so worried I'll never be happy with my weight. I'm always either gaining or losing weight, my whole life.

[Jen2020MGB 26]

I went for a round 150 as the 'main' goal, as I was that weight when I was around 17 and looked and felt great (not that I thought it at the time!!). Now I'm getting closer at 179, and when I look in the mirror there appears to be more than 29 pounds to go! So I may revise goal but will see when I get there or close. It's hard to imagine ourselves so light I think, after many years of being heavier. It's such a personal thing, and like others have said I do sometimes worry that I'll never be happy!

I love the 'weirdest none-scale-victory' thread for ideas of what to notice and Celebrate, and mentally I find it helpful to shift focus away from the numbers sometimes, particularly when experiencing a stall.

[KCgirl061 1,532]

According to the formula others have given (5 ft = 100lbs +5lb per inch after) at 5’4” my ideal weight is 120. I got down to 125 and I was incredibly thin to the point I was urged to stop my weight loss by my husband, friends, and coworkers. Unless waif thin is the look you’re going for, the BMI chart and formula is a little excessive (in my opinion)

[STLoser 1,099]

My lowest adult weight was 153, many years ago on WW. I am 5'3", so that's still overweight for me, but I looked and felt great. I am curvy, and I don't feel like I was meant to be as tiny as the BMI chart says for my height. The most important thing to me is how I feel. I am not too worried about the number on the scale.

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Deb9386 110]

Very interesting topic! I was 231 lbs pre surgery and set my goal at 160 as that was a weight I'd maintained for much of my adult life before piling on the pounds. I got to that about a month ago, and despite now trying to up my calories and maintain at that weight I'm still losing. So maybe your final weight does choose you?

[MistySkye 181]

I did a calorie restricted program once and got down to 167 - for like a day (I have been overweight my entire life) If I can get back there again, that will be awesome. But I said my goal was 180. Only 3 days post-op, so on the road.

[Arabesque 7,245]

My surgeon asked what my goal weight was & I suggested 60kg & a BMI of about 23 which was the lowest weight I’d reach whenever I tried to lose in the past. I was always told I was a medium to large frame so the higher end of the BMI range seemed reasonable. He thought it was achievable too.

Hit my goal at 6 months & then lost another about 12kg trying to find the balance in the first year of maintenance. I generally sit at 49kg now (+/-500g) though I sat at 48.5 (+/-500g) for a couple of months once I stabilised. The lowest weight I’ve reached was 47.9kg last month but that was an anomaly.

Yes, I did look thin at first & family would comment I looked drawn but everything seems to have resettled & I look fine now. Funny thing is I actually have a smallish frame so I can carry my lower weight & BMI.

I maintain at about 1200 calories but I’m not very active. Some days I feel hungry others I don’t. My hunger started coming back at about 18 months or so. My restriction is still active. Generally I eat to routine to allow for times I’m not hungry & also allow for days I am so I ensure I still eat about 1200 calories.

I’m a big believer in finding the right balance for you. You have to be able to maintain your weight & be happy living your life. You may be able to maintain at a lower weight but are the costs (more restricted diet, increased activity) worth how it may restrict your life. For you, the answer may be yes but for someone else it may be no. Both answers are correct. A healthy, happy life should be more important than a number on the scale or the size label in your clothes. Of course those numbers can be incredibly empowering but the reality is they’re not as important as health & happiness. But that’s my opinion.

[Highly_Undermedicated 55]

I will be 15 months post RNY on 6/9. My HW was 325. I am 5'6-5'7 range. And I am currently 183...3 lbs away from my GW. It's also the GW my plastics team desired me to be at for my panniculectomy. With that being said, by the time I go in for my procedure I will be between 170-180 and afterwards and after swelling has settled 160-170 range. I will be perfectly fine there. BMI is an outdated tool that does not take into account your muscle build, fat percentage, athletic type, etc. It shows a body builder with very little body fat and all muscle to be overweight even obese . So it's not a very accurate tool to measure by. I would base my goals on how you feel. How healthy you are. Your non-scale victories. Fat percentages. Body measurements. Etc. But not BMI. I used to wear 4x/26 now I wear L/XL and 12s. That's a pretty big difference. And that makes me happy .I used to have high bp. Now they ask me if a resting heart rate of 55 or bp of 95/50 is normal for me. Prior to being morbidly obese and when i was athletic, it was. Now it is once again. To me, makes me happy at nearly 180. But if I continue to lose weight after my panniculectomy, I won't be mad. Whatever my body chooses to do, I will let it. Unless of course it starts to go lower than Im comfortable with.

[Soon2bFit21 109]

Starting weight 339, my surgeon seems to think my goal weight should be 150. At 5’11 and competing in everything from bodybuilding to crossfit over the years with a massive weight increase the last two, I think this goal is totally unattainable. He’s going strictly by BMI based on height and not taking into account my history or frame.
That said, my current goal is 220 with a long term of 199.

[catwoman7 11,212]

Just now, Soon2bFit21 said:

Starting weight 339, my surgeon seems to think my goal weight should be 150. At 5’11 and competing in everything from bodybuilding to crossfit over the years with a massive weight increase the last two, I think this goal is totally unattainable. He’s going strictly by BMI based on height and not taking into account my history or frame.
That said, my current goal is 220 with a long term of 199.

that's really odd. Those who give you a goal (and not all do) often give you one that's right around the average weight loss (which is about 70% of excess weight - which, statistically anyway, is about where you'd expect to end up). There are definitely people who make it to a normal BMI, but my surgeon said only about 10-15% of his patients do, and the statistics I've read appear to back that up. Your surgeon giving you that number as a goal seems unrealistic. Possible, of course, but not terribly realistic.