Close to final decision

[Myran 19]

I just joined this forum after reading through a myriad of posts. I've practically been a dieter all my life but any weight I've managed to lose always came back and then some. As a child I was the only overweight person in my family – I would gain weight during summer vacations with my grandparents and when I came home my mom put me on a diet. This means I’ve been yo-yoing ever since I was around six years old ☹️. Now I'm knocking on 50 (in 2022) and have decided it is time to change things for good in order to live out the rest of my life as the best version of myself and hopefully healthy. The only time I’ve been “normal weight” in my adult life was in my late teens when I had been on a strict diet and exercised like crazy. I was able to maintain that healthy weight for about a year into my uni life but have been overweight ever since.

At some point, I realized that it is unhealthier to keep yo-yoing than being overweight especially since I didn’t experience any weight-related health issues before my forties. I still don’t have any major issues (my sugars and cholesterol levels are a bit high but I don’t need medication yet). I’ve dreamt of WLS for years, but only last year did I start researching my options for real. I live in Finland and you can actually get the surgery here through the public healthcare system, but the wait-times are long and there is no guarantee you will be approved for surgery. Prices for private surgery are high but you can get the same surgery for about half the price in Estonia so that is the option I’m leaning towards. I have been looking at the mini-gastric bypass but when I contacted the clinic, they initially recommended the gastric bypass due to my BMI and age. Does anyone know why this would be (i.e. should I be younger/older and thinner/heavier to be a better candidate for the mini bypass)? I am still contemplating whether I really want to do this, because I have this silly feeling that surgery would be “cheating”.

Sorry for the long post. I’m happy to be here and see all the success stories. Can’t wait to e-meet all of you.

[catwoman7 11,213]

I don't think many surgeons do the mini bypass in the US, so I can't speak to your actual question (mini-bypass vs the standard gastric bypass), but I just wanted to say that yes, some people would consider getting weight loss surgery "cheating", but if that's the only thing that actually works for many of us to get rid of our excess weight, then so be it. For most of us, it's either that or continue to be morbidly obese and risk our health (and potentially shorten our lives, too).

I was more than 200 lbs overweight before surgery. I was constantly dieting and then gaining it back - and the most I could ever lose was 50-60 lbs. Then I'd hit a wall and the weight would gradually come back on. This happened over and over and over again for most of my adult life (I'm in my 60s). Weight loss surgery was the only thing I tried that got me beyond that "wall". I ended up losing all of my excess weight and maintaining most of my loss (like many people, I gained 20 lbs after I hit my lowest weight - but I'm fine with that!). I never could have done this without the surgery. Believe me, I tried...

[Myran 19]

You are so right, this is my last resort and option of ever even getting close to a healthy normal weight. I think I am concerned that I'll get negative feedback from people for "cheating" this way but in the end, it is my body and my choice. 😊

[Drinkwine28 20]

Hi Myran, I am newbie as well. I just joined the forum yesterday!! I am scheduled for gastric sleeve on June 15th at Blossom Bariatrics in Vegas. I moved beyond "what will people think" and decided this is for me and only me. I have to put myself first. I will not hide my surgery when my success starts becoming obvious and people ask "what did you do?" I don't think surgery is cheating and WE can educate people that it is not. Our WHOLE life is going to change. Our way we eat and live will change. This is NOT going to be easy. This is the hardest thing I have and probably will ever do. So, remind yourself if you are living your best life, those in your life will benefit from it too. I a tired of being tired and missing out on all the things I can't do because of my size. YOU DESERVE THIS and frankly, it's no one's business how you get healthy!

[Myran 19]

Drinkwine28, you are soooo right 🙂 I am still considering whether I will tell people if/when they ask how I lost weight but I'm a bit of blabbermouth so it may well be that I can't keep quiet 😁

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

I'm pre-surgery and careful right now who I tell, mainly because I don't want to hear their crap or feel like I have to justify to anyone. I'm fine with trusted people asking questions or giving me feedback, but not from others...

I can't speak too much to that initial question. I would definitely ask them why it is their preferred choice of surgery. They should be able to explain that to you. I talked to my surgeon about my surgery choice as well because I wanted to understand her reasoning.

Edited May 19, 2021 by You Are My Sunshine

[Myran 19]

Yes I will ask the surgeon, I’m sure they can explain it.

[Arabesque 7,300]

Choosing to have surgery is not cheating. Sure the surgery kick started my weight loss & there are aspects, like the restriction & inability to eat large servings of food, that reduce the opportunity for me to gain. But I’ve worked hard to change how I eat, what I eat & to understand why I eat. Probably way harder than someone who’s never been obese or battled being overweight & certainly harder than when I dieted before. And I work every day at changing a lifetime of bad habits, things that defined who I was & who people thought I was.

You have to be ready & willing to make the changes. The difference this time to every other time you’ve dieted is the changes have to be sustainable - permanent & manageable in your life. The surgery doesn’t fix it all for you. If I started eating high fat, high sugar, high processed carb foods, etc. & go back to old habits I’d put on weight again.

For most of my adult life I bounced between a bmi of 23 to 29. I gained & lost for 30 years. Then when I was about 50 yrs old it wasn’t 15kgs I needed to lose it was 31 & I couldn’t lose it. All my old dieting tricks failed. I woke one morning at almost 54yrs & said enough, I’m going to have surgery. I didn’t have any health issues at all (except for sore feet & a lack of fitness) but I knew it was in my very near future & I didn’t want to be that big anymore.

Is it worth it? You bet it is. I hit my 60kg goal in 6 months, historically my lowest weight as an adult. I lost almost another 12kgs over the next year. I may only have been maintaining at my current weight for 6 months but I have never, ever in my life been able to maintain a low weight after dieting for more than a month. And I haven’t been this weight since I was about 12 yrs old. I don’t know what the next months or years will bring but I’m not going down without a fight.

I’d ask why they recommended bypass too if only for your own information & peace of mind. After going through my weight loss & gain history in detail, my surgeon went through the surgical options identifying the pros & cons of each. He then explained which he thought would be best for me & why but he also asked which I thought I’d prefer & why. His process made be more confident about my surgery.

Good luck.

[Myran 19]

Thank you Arabesque. I do realize it is not a quick magic fix and will require many changes but I believe this is the only way for me to ever get healthy. It is great to read success stories and what type of changes people have made to make it work for them. As I mentioned the clinic sent me a message with the initial recommendation but I haven't filled in the complete health and history form yet, which will help them make the final recommendation so it may still change. I am also convinced they will go through everything with me once I make the decision to do this. It is a reputable clinic - the surgeon has been doing WLS since 2006, operates on some 300 persons annually, and has performed over 2,000 WLS so I am confident I will be in good hands and get all the info I need.