Major Changes Are Frightening...

[LizzLosingIt 49]

Had my nutritionist appointment Wednesday. I feel prepared in that I know what I can and can’t eat...am getting my file looked at by a nurse and hopefully submitted to my insurance next week. My case manager seems confident I’ll have a surgery date within July.

but I’m starting to mourn the life I live now.

I know I want to lose the weight and keep it off... but I’m going to miss a nice glass of champagne or cocktail with carbonation. A warm bowl of Pasta. Full fat milk. The sense of freedom to eat when and what I want (which I suppose can also be a prison...)

anyway I’m getting emotional, knowing my life will never be the same. There’s good with it, but definitely a sense of loss and mourning is coming across as well. I spoke with the psychiatrist in my bariatric clinic and she cleared me for surgery, but I feel like I may need to go see her again once or twice before surgery for my own peace of mind and a listening ear.

I don’t know if I just need advice or a listening ear or insight from experience or what. whatever you offer I’ll gladly take.

[catwoman7 11,211]

you'll eventually be able to have some of that again. It's really the first few weeks and months that are pretty restrictive. I'm quite a ways out and really don't have any restrictions anymore and haven't in a long time (by this I mean restrictions placed on me by my surgeon - those were all eventually lifted). At this point it comes down to what my stomach can tolerate. I can drink alcohol again, but I really limit it. I have a glass of wine maybe three or four times a year - but some patients drink more than that. As for carbonation, some surgeons want you to give it up forever - others are OK with it once you're a few months out as long as your stomach can tolerate it (my stomach doesn't tolerate it well so I avoid it - but some people are fine with it). I can't really do much Pasta since it sits in my stomach like a ton of bricks, but to be honest, it's been so long that I don't miss it. I've had it occasionally since I've been in maintenance, but I don't eat more than about 1/2 C. I could drink full fat milk if I wanted to, although I'm not a milk drinker. I eat full fat yogurt fairly often, though. You're right about eating what and when you want to, though - there's too much of a risk of putting the weight back on if you do that. I do mostly eat what I want to now - but I monitor myself all the time to make sure it's within reason. The last thing I want is to gain all the weight back (or really, ANY weight!!)

anyway, I think a lot of us had those feelings before surgery - but at some point restrictions will loosen up quite a bit and things will seem more normal.

P.S. about life never being the same - well in many ways, you're right. I can do things now that I haven't been able to do in years. I no longer sit around worrying that I'm going to have a heart attack and/or never live to see my 60th birthday. I don't worry that I'll get kicked off planes for being too fat or that I'll break furniture. I never get stared at in public places or have to endure nasty comments from kids (and sometimes adults) about my weight. I just blend right into the crowd now!! I also don't have to deal with people giving me "the look" when I'm eating in public, or people looking in my grocery cart at the store (to see what morbidly obese people eat, I guess....). I LOVE my new life and I never, ever want to go back to where I was!!

Edited May 9, 2021 by catwoman7

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

I am almost 9 months out. I thought I would miss a lot of things I ate almost daily such as ice cream, chocolate, etc. To be honest I don't eat or miss any of that stuff. I tried to eat a bite of a chocolate egg at Easter, and I actually spit it out because it was so sweet and made me feel sick!

[WishMeSmaller 1,273]

I am 10 months post-op and I eat/drink everything I used to, but in MUCH smaller portions. I was really busy yesterday and struggling to get calories in so I grabbed a slice of pizza from Whole Foods. I ate less than half of it and gave the rest to Husband (I got full AND it was too greasy for my taste). I hosted a dinner party last night and ate pie with ice cream for dessert with our guests (I do not dump). I am trying to stop losing weight right now, so I am eating more carbs than I have in months. I still follow the Protein first rule, though.

You will be able to enjoy some of the things you love in the future and you might be surprised on how your tastes change. 😊

[BigSue 1,362]

I completely relate to all of your feelings about this! I first started looking into WLS 15 years before I actually went through with it. I considered it many times over the course of those years, but the reason it took me so long to go through with it was exactly what you said -- I hated the thought of giving up everything that I loved. I couldn't imagine not eating a whole Red Baron pizza every week, or giving up my diet sodas. But I eventually reached a point where I had to choose between my health and continuing to eat the way I wanted, and that's when I went through with the surgery.

The first few months (including the pre-op diet) are HARD. It is a huge adjustment to make to your life, especially in the liquid/purees/soft foods stages. Even when you get to the "normal food" stage, it's hard to know what to eat because it feels like everything you want is now off-limits. I still have the occasional pangs of sadness when I see something that looks delicious and realize I can't have it.

I think the biggest surprise for me after surgery has been how little I miss my old diet. I have gradually discovered new, healthy recipes and foods that I never even would have tried back when I was eating pizza, french fries, Pasta, ice cream, etc. I'm actually enjoying eating healthy food. I don't miss eating rice at all (in case you didn't know, most WLS patients don't eat rice because it expands in the stomach and can be painful) because I have found that cauliflower rice is a great substitute. I didn't even try it until my pre-op diet because I hated cauliflower, and now I eat it several times per week. I recently tried chia seed pudding and learned that I love it! I've started drinking tea since I quit carbonated beverages and now I'm discovering all kinds of delicious teas. I've found some great spice blends and sauces that make vegetables really tasty, and delicious light salad dressings. Can you believe I never tried Sriracha before surgery, and now I love it (Huy Fong chili garlic sauce is even better).

I'm about 10 months out from surgery, so still in the honeymoon period, but my experience at this point has been that the adjustment to my diet has been easier than I expected. The hard part for me has been making time in my life to take care of myself and my health because I didn't really exercise before surgery, and now I'm devoting over an hour per day to it. I went years without ever going to a doctor (other than the dentist) and now I have to go a few times per year, get periodic bloodwork, keep my prescriptions filled, etc. I have to take my Vitamins every day. It can all be a burden, but the tradeoff is that I am in the best health of my adult life, and not obese for the first time in my adult life. I'm not saying that WLS is right for everyone, but you know all the reasons you have decided to do this and whether it's worth all of the changes you'll have to make. Good luck!

[Arabesque 7,221]

Once you get close to or into maintenance you’ll start working out what of your old favourites you can eat or want to eat again. There may be foods or drinks you say never again too, others that you may have occasionally. You might find more nutritious alternatives for some (like vegetable pastas or rice) or you’ll restrict your portion size of a particular food.

I say I follow a reduce, restrict or avoid plan. I haven’t really missed anything I avoid or anything I restrict. It hasn’t stopped me going out to dine or socialising with friends & family. The foods I avoid, restrict or have reduced are ones that lead me down the path to my weight struggles so I’ve been happy to bid them farewell or to visit with only occasionally.

I cut as much sugar (real, artificial & alternatives) out of my diet as I can but I still had some cake at a friend’s wedding on the weekend - just had two teaspoon. I probably won’t have any other cake, biscuits, Desserts, etc. until Christmas.

Processed carbs & starchy foods tend to sit heavily in my tummy too (even the vegetable pasta) so I avoid them.

I drink full fat milk, cheese & yogurt. I do buy low fat milk at times but it’s usually because it has a longer use by date - LOL!

I’ve never been great with carbonation so no real change there for me. If I want something bubbly like sparkling, soda or tonic Water I stir it, sip it slowly & let it sit for a while so a lot of the gas escapes. I have alcohol about once a month but usually one glass over a long time. I don’t enjoy it as much. I had champagne at the wedding it just took me almost two hours to drink it.

I eat about 60g of Protein, 4 serves of fruit & vegetables, 2or 3 serves of dairy, 2 serves of multi/whole grain carbs every day. I haven’t taken any Vitamins since 8 months post surgery (early maintenance). I have bloods taken every 3 months & all my levels come back great.

But that’s my story & it’s been working for me so far. What you discover works for you will be very personal to you & how you want to live & enjoy your life.

Many people continue to meet with their therapist post surgery be it to continue to work through issues or for maintenance. If you think it will help you, do it.

Good luck with your surgery.

[NovaLuna 710]

It sometimes helps to share your worries with someone who'll listen and give advice, so definitely make that appointment with the psychiatrist because if you feel like you need to then chances are that you do.

I put off my surgery for many of the same reasons you listed. I'm 15 months out and wish I had done it sooner. Admittedly, I did develop a wheat allergy after my surgery but there is literally only something like a 3% chance of developing a wheat allergy or Celiac Disease so don't worry about it happening to you because chances are you'll be fine. Plus, I've gotten used to eating wheat free which generally consists of gluten free options (gluten is from wheat, rye, barley, and... some other grain, I forget lol. Most foods have wheat due to most flours being wheat based). I even found some restaurants that have gluten free options on their menus.

In case of the foods you'll miss for most things you can just find substitutes. For example: Cauliflower rice instead of rice. The texture is different, but it takes on the flavor of what you add, be it herbs or sauces. Just keep in mind it has a lot more moisture in it so some recipes that have rice in them have to be altered slightly. For Pasta, I eat chickpea pasta noodles which are found in the pasta aisle. They have the added benefit of having high Protein. Also lower carbs (not a TON lower, but much lower than regular pasta). For ice cream you can substitute Carb Smart or No Sugar Added ice cream by Breyers. It's 70-160 calories, 16-23 carbs, 4-9g of sugar per 1/2-2/3 cup depending on flavors (I have No Sugar Added Salted Caramel Swirl in my freezer. It has 120 calories, 21 carbs, and 5g of sugar per 2/3 cup. I only eat 1/3 cup so it's 60 calories, 10.5 carbs, and 2.5g of sugar every serving I eat.). So you won't forever have everything beyond you. You can substitute or eventually eat some of the foods you love in moderation.

[You Are My Sunshine 85]

I'm on the pre-op liquid stage and I'm having many of the same feelings. Just wanted to send some hugs...

[STLoser 1,099]

I went through a lot of those same feelings. I was especially sad about not being able to drink sparkling Water, and have water with my meals because I've always been a huge water drinker. Having to eat so much Protein was hard at first, because I have a goal of being a vegetarian at some point in my life, but I did this so I would have a chance to live a healthy life, and I was willing to do anything. I still miss being able to eat all the veggies I used to, because I'm a huge veggie lover, but I can eat more than I did.at first now. I'm still in the weight loss phase, but I do have a treat once in a while, and for the most part I'm still enjoying the foods I loved before. I've tolerated pretty much everything I've eaten so that helps. I just make sure to get my protein first always and if I have room I enjoy the other stuff.
I have definitely had to give up some things, but I have gained SO much more. Every aspect of my life is better now that I've lost almost 150.
I don't spend time thinking of food much anymore, so I really don't miss eating like I used to. Sometimes it will hit me, like last night we went out for sushi at a place that has all you can eat sushi. Well, all I can eat is about 4 pieces now, so I just have to order off the menu instead of all you can eat. I miss being able to try all the different kinds, but I fill up so fast that I don't really care once I'm full.
It is definitely a lot of change, but I'm so happy I did it. For me, the feeling of getting full is the best thing in the world. I never really felt satisfied when I ate before, no matter how much I ate.
I know I'm getting long winded here, but I'm just trying to say that it has all been worth it. There is a mourning period, but it was brief for me, and I'm not sorry about any of the changes I've had to make. It's so worth it for the way I feel and the life I'm living now.

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