I am SO disappointed in myself. Self-sabotage post-op

[MoominMan 17]

I had a gastric bypass in August. I've lost 105 pounds – which is not bad, I guess – but the weight loss has stalled, hardly changed at all since January.

The fact is I have been eating too much. I don't dump and bad foods have crept in. Today I ate 4 packets of crisps and 5 small chocolate cakes. That's nowhere near the amount I used to eat of course, but its still really bad. My restriction has never been that strict, from quite early on I could eat relatively large portions for a bypasser. I am sabotaging myself and I feel like I have squandered the goldilocks period of the post-op where your body is most receptive to losing weight. I can't express how sad this makes me.

I always knew the transition to healthy eating was going to be hard but it is further complicated by a quite debilitating eating dorser. I've been diagnosed with avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) which has made everything so much harder. For me its not as simple as trying new foods or changing recipes to healthier options; there are so few (we're talking no more than three) reasonably healthy things I can reliably cook myself and eat. But because I end up having the same thing every day, it's not that healthy. Still more carbs than I should be having.

It's 8 months since my operation. Is there time to turn this around?

[BypassedSophie 60]

Of course there is time to turn it around. Can you make an appointment with tour dietician and get a plan to get back on track? Hopefully, there are more than 3 healthy things you can eat—if there are more and you just need help cooking them—maybe ask the forum for some recipes? Don’t beat yourself up—tomorrow is a new day—make a plan and start anew!

[SummerTimeGirl 582]

I agree, get help from your dietician. Also the Internet is a great place for quick, easy and healthy recipes. You'll find all kinds of stuff if you look. I've also come across some great Tiktok accounts of others who have had the surgery and doing great. They post lots of easy recipes and whatnot. Look around! Best of luck!

[MoominMan 17]

I don't have a dietician (I went abroad for my op). I am serious when I say three meals. I can't just find new things to eat off the internet - that's sort of the whole point.

[kristieshannon 1,618]

Have you worked with a dietician/nutritionist before with your eating disorder? Also, have you seen a therapist? Perhaps ask your primary care provider for referrals to both if you aren’t already connected with someone. Sounds like a very tough situation, hang in there and definitely seek out help.

[catwoman7 11,210]

I kept losing weight for 20 months, so no, it's not too late. It gets harder the further out you go, but you can definitely keep losing weight. I agree with the others- it may be a good idea to work with a therapist or dietitian.

Edited April 30, 2021 by catwoman7

[dms75 161]

15 hours ago, MoominMan said:

I don't have a dietician (I went abroad for my op). I am serious when I say three meals. I can't just find new things to eat off the internet - that's sort of the whole point.

I'm 11 months out of sleeve surgery. I came to build a routine in what I eat, and I absolutely enjoy every meal. Even if it's exactly the same as yesterday. I love it. Here's what I eat in a day (and the day after, and the one after.... 🙂

Breakfast: 2 eggs, 4 oz of diced lean ham (pork or turkey, or a turkey patty), 1 oz leek, 1 oz sweet peppers, all scrambled together. Add 6-8 cherry tomatoes and an espresso with 1 oz of 2% milk.

Lunch: 5 oz of lean meat (chicken breast, pork loin, beef sirloin) grilled or pan seared, 2 cups of shredded fresh cabbage, one tablespoon of light Mayonnaise

Dinner: 5 oz of fish (cod, mahi, salmon, tuna, shrimp) and 1 cup of sliced zucchini or snap peas, all pan seared together, plus one Danon Light&Fit yogurt.

That's about 1100 calories a day. Throw in the occasional apple or cup of berries, and it's 1200 calories, all in. And that's ALL I've been eating for the last 10 months. The only variation is the type of meat or fish I have. Or what flavor yogurt I choose. I'm not bored, and I look forward to every meal. It makes it easy to shop for and cook.

Do yourself a huge favour and throw away ALL the crisps, cakes and any other greasy or sugary Snacks you may have in the house. Then don't buy them again. If you really must snack, bite into an apple, or chew on a carrot. It keeps the mouth busy, without adding much caloric content. Oh, and I drink a gallon of Water a day, to stave off Constipation.

Hang in there, believe in yourself, and maybe talk to a therapist or a friend about it.

[Incredibleshrinkiningkiley 23]

Hello love. I’m coming to you with love and kindness and as someone who has struggled with food addiction for many many years. Sounds like you are head hungry and not really hungry. Seek help for binge eating disorder and see a counselor. Get a food diary and be honest. Heal from your food addiction first then you will notice results. I know it’s so hard but this whole change is 90% mental. “Bad” foods can be made healthy we have so much to offer in 2021 in terms of food choices. You can do this!

[Agray65826 4]

Go see a intuitive eating dietician. Also a therapist is a great idea too. Sometimes it's difficult to adjust to such a big change in a small amount of time. Once you get into a mindset that nothing is restricted, you won't crave them any more, and when you do crave them, a little bit will be satisfying. Look into intuitive eating. It saved me, it validated all my feelings. Shaming yourself is the worst thing you can do. Also, make an appointment with your baractic office to see if it might be something else. In my bariactic classes before surgery they told us that if we start gaining weight to give them a call immediately. I hope all goes well. Please please please be gentle with yourself [emoji3531][emoji3531][emoji3531]

Sent from my SM-G970U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Deb9386 110]

On 4/30/2021 at 2:08 AM, MoominMan said:

I don't have a dietician (I went abroad for my op). I am serious when I say three meals. I can't just find new things to eat off the internet - that's sort of the whole point.

Could you post the foods that you can eat - others on the board may be able to make suggestions for recipes or meal plans?

My personal experience after RNY bypass is that the underlying issues (whatever they are) that caused the disordered eating in the first place don't go away magically, and it's going to be a constant battle to keep on track. [well for me anyway].

I see you're in the UK too - I had my bypass privately here and had a UK dietitian who was very helpful. If you're interested in her contact information I can dm details?

[lizonaplane 1,612]

I agree with everyone who said to see a nutritionist and a therapist. Also, you said there are only three things you "can eat". Why is that? Is that because you only know how to make three meals? If so, take a cooking class. If your stomach can only tolerate three meals, then that would surprise me since you are eating crisps and cakes. If you only LIKE three meals, try expanding your palate by NOT eating sweets except fruits and veggies - they taste so much sweeter and better if you're not eating cake and crisps (crisps are actually really sweet, not just salty). You can try to only eat when you're hungry enough to eat an apple or some berries - I found out that surprisingly, when I wasn't eating Cookies, I actually found fruit much sweeter. It takes some time, but I no longer put Splenda on my berries and I really enjoy my food and feel less hungry (I haven't even had surgery yet!). You can do it!!!! Having a mental health diagnosis is not a destiny that prevents you from making good progress - I have bipolar disorder yet I work a very intense job and have fulfilling relationships, because I work at my mental health every day.