Scared of losing weight

[APJPollett 8]

This is probably the weirdest post given we all have a goal. To lose weight.

I am post gastric sleeve. I have proudly lost 25lbs (and counting) in three weeks. I am doing this for my family and for my health. I was having a lot of health issues due to being obese, and I wanted to enjoy life again.

That said, I didn't have body issues prior to the gastric sleeve. I had a "Don't like it don't look" attitude. Proud of my bought and paid for body. 6 years of infertility medications, PCOS, hormonal issues, two pregnancies, the first being with twins. My body was almost like a medal.
Now, I'm finding I'm fixated on what will I look like when I reach my goal weight. I'm waking up from 'nightmares' that I will look like a melted barbie. Even my waking hours are spent worrying.

"Will I be able to look at my naked body without regrets?"
"Will I be able to feel sexy again? Even if my boobs hang to my belly button?"
"Will spanks help? Or will it just make me look lumpy?"
"Was this a mistake?"
"Will my partner still find me sexy?" (Please note, my husband is very supportive and assures me daily that I have nothing to worry about, but the voice in my head has a hard time believing this. How can someone really know for sure until the finished product is in front of you?)

After spending so much out of pocket for the procedure, I can't see being able to afford cosmetic surgery once I've reached my goal weight. That scares me. Even if I can save up the money... Can I justify spending more on myself instead of my family? Frankly, I'd be scared of surgery and what the recovery would be like.

Has anyone else felt like this? I'm determined to lose the weight. I want to run around the park with my kids, walk my dogs, go on hikes again. Just need to know that I'm not alone. Maybe make a friend whose on the same journey that I can talk to.

Regardless, thanks for reading. Kinda helped just typing out all my fears.

[catwoman7 11,215]

I guess I didn't really care - I just knew I didn't want to be fat anymore.

I lost over 200 lbs, and this is what I looked like (I have since had plastic surgery - but this picture was taken BEFORE plastic surgery). For me (and many of us), the excess skin was easy to hide. I just wore 3/4 length (or longer) sleeves and slightly oversized, long-ish tops. Ta da! No more loose skin. Although you're right - you and your husband will know it's there, even if no one else does. I didn't like my loose skin, but on the other hand, I would have taken it any day of the week over being morbidly obese again. I don't know how old you are, how overweight you are, or how long you've been overweight, because all those play a role in how much loose skin you'll end up with. Some people really don't have all that much. I'm probably worst case scenario.

[APJPollett 8]

Thank you, catwoman7.

That helped. You looked great, and your right you can't tell that you had any loose skin.

Kind of eases my mind a little.

[WishMeSmaller 1,274]

Catwoman is right. Lots of factors go into amount and appearance of loose skin as you lose weight. Everyone is different. Here is my take:

I have loose skin on my tummy, completely deflated boobs, the loose skin on my very toned thighs jiggles as I walk, and my butt🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ The loose skin on my butt causes me to feel like I am sitting on something lumpy all the time. The butt issue is really the only thing uncomfortable for me. The rest is cosmetic only.

I am also the healthiest I have been in my life. I am no longer diabetic. My blood pressure is on the low side of normal and my cholesterol is perfect without any medications (I took meds for both, before). I no longer have sleep apnea.

I am scheduled for plastic surgery at the end of May, but I would still be ecstatic with my new body, even if I could not have plastic surgery. My husband is very supportive and we laugh a lot about my loose skin. Other than true body-con clothing, you can’t see the loose skin in my clothes. I would rather have good health than the ability to wear body-con clothes. Check out my pics below. I lost 120 pounds-ish.

I will say, at some phases during my weight loss process, I did have some pretty bad dysmorphia related to the lumps and bumps from loose skin, but it did get better.

All the best to you as you lose weight. 😊

[Soon2bFit21 109]

This post hit home for me. I am very worried about loose and sagging skin. I had a love hate relationship with my body prior to surgery (only 3weeks out now). I spent the most of my 20s competing in women’s fitness and figure competitions and over exercising and strict dieting to keep my weight normal. By my late 20s, my body rebounded with a vengeance and 100 plus lbs came on. As much as I hated my weight, I still looked strong and somewhat in shape despite being 300lbs. Most people on the street would never guess I weighed that much.

I chose the surgery not only for look but to feel better. So I try and look at it from that aspect as well. I was almost completely sedentary due to severe back, neck, knee and foot pain and even losing 29lbs so far has lessened that.

I already have it in my head and a plan for plastics, but the scars worry me as well. I’ve seen some amazing before and afters on this forum and on social media, but I still get scared that I am not going to be one of those people who has a favorable result.

[kristieshannon 1,650]

I’m down nearly 140 lbs. I was also afraid of loose skin, and boy did I have it. However, my only regret is that I didn’t do the surgery sooner. I’d take very flap of skin any day over the health complications I had from being overweight. I had a Tummy Tuck, arm lift, and breast lift/augmentation in January. It was more affordable than I thought, I found an amazing surgeon in Florida where PS is less costly than much of the country.

[GreenTealael 25,383]

When I started my journey I didn’t even consider my “after” body, I was so focused on my after lifestyle. I felt (and looked) good up until a threshold and then I lost weight from places I had not anticipated.

It can be slightly shocking but everything about life after WLS was novice and odd for a little while. I only ever saw the problem when I was not clothed. Other than that it was hidden.

I also had plastics (also in Miami) because it was the right choice/time for me.

[MSWDiet 64]

I can identify with how you perceive your body. Vanity has kept me gorgeous from size 18/20 to size 2/4. However, post op I began experience insane body dysmorphia. I felt obese a few pounds above my ideal weight after a lifetime of not feeling fat despite my obesity.

Weight loss can alter one's self image and spark un anticipated behavioral changes. Therapy was not in my post op budget so I'm continuously working on my self image. Reality vs my perception is a long term struggle.

You are not the first to experience this particular flavor of crazy . For some of us it's a normal part of adjusting to our new reality. Therapist define these experiences as "Adjustment Disorders".

Step one to resolving your issues is awareness. You've begun the introspective work. That's a good start for reconciling your perceptions with reality.

Best wishes!

MSW

[APJPollett 8]

53 minutes ago, MSWDiet said:

I can identify with how you perceive your body. Vanity has kept me gorgeous from size 18/20 to size 2/4. However, post op I began experience insane body dysmorphia. I felt obese a few pounds above my ideal weight after a lifetime of not feeling fat despite my obesity.

Weight loss can alter one's self image and spark un anticipated behavioral changes. Therapy was not in my post op budget so I'm continuously working on my self image. Reality vs my perception is a long term struggle.

You are not the first to experience this particular flavor of crazy . For some of us it's a normal part of adjusting to our new reality. Therapist define these experiences as "Adjustment Disorders".

Step one to resolving your issues is awareness. You've begun the introspective work. That's a good start for reconciling your perceptions with reality.

Best wishes!

MSW

MSW

Thanks for sharing! It’s nice to know that I am/wasn’t alone. I am trying to come to terms on a healthy way.

[Monica.3.31.21 0]

You are not alone. I felt the exact same way before I had my gastric bypass. Worried about loose skin and flabby arms. I actually felt a bit of comfort and security in my fluffiness. I'm only a month out from surgery but I envisioned myself getting a trainer and toning, strengthening, and building muscle (I have never been fit but always saw myself as that person). I think what helped me is the fact that I won't have the lower back/hip pain and other issues that stood in my way. Like you I don't know how I'll be able to afford plastic surgery but I have definitely made it a goal to save towards down the line. One of my friends told me you have to love and accept your body at every stage. I know the changes may be hard at first but with acceptance and patience, we'll get through it.

[1Artist 19]

My experience and advice is to take each step by its self and in time you will have your goal accomplished. You will feel so much better with more energy, health issues will improve, and you will actually forget how depressing it was to pull on size 3X clothes. My diabetes is in remission. I haven't had to give myself insulin once in 11 years. I do have some age related medical issues but I am 82 yr and feel 50. Fortunately I have had no problems keeping my weight off, in fact, I follow the rule to stop when I am no longer hungry and it has conditioned my stomach to stop me. I get a hiccup and that is the signal. Good luck on your new journey.....be happy .

[Leeyo84 5]

@APJPollett I'm so glad I found your post! I really wanted to reply as soon as I read it, so I haven't read everything else that's been posted, but I will.

I'm terrified of what I'm going to look like.I think about it every second of every minute. I'm 36, 280lbs 5'5". I've been fat all my life. I've grown attached to who I've become. I think I've used my fatness as a suit of armor. It's protected me from life.

I wish I could accept myself as is and promote body positivity. I believe surgery is the right choice for me. I have health issues and I want to have a baby while I still can. But I still feel shitty and scared. Everything I've read online promises that everything is going to change. My relationship, my friendships, how people treat me. Everything is going to change, and it terrifies me to my core! I know how to be fat, I know how to handle people as a fat person... it's all I know. I don't know how to be anything other than. And I'm giving it all up to be something else.

I'm worried about unwanted attention from men too. Usually my fat body and strong personality push men away, but what if by losing weight I become an easier target!?

I'm just losing my mind a little. Mind you, it's the end of day one of my 2 week liquid diet and I did not enjoy today at all. I'm just venting. But I'm grateful that I found your post. Thank you.

Edited May 14, 2021 by Leeyo84

[APJPollett 8]

Hey ladies!!!

So my update, I have lost 52lbs! None of my clothes fit and yes I have noticed a belly hang.

Trying to find my new sizes through online shopping due to the pandemic (everything’s still closed here in Ontario) has been a nightmare!!!

All my new pants were showing this weird pudgy lump that I was feeling really self conscious about. So went on to look for spanks.

Never wore spanks before... They suck, massively. Not sure but I got three different sizes and all of them suck. They constantly roll and shift. Waste of my money.

For those of you ladies who feel the same way a friend of mine introduced me to Zyia. They are a bit too pricey for my liking, but they are compressive leggings that don’t show my naughty bits when I bend over! They also don’t roll down so I’m not constantly trying to pull them up. They are super stretchy too, so I won’t have to continuously buy new pants during my journey. They are considers active wear but they have styles that look like regular leggings that I can wear them to work. I’ve invested in 5 pairs already!

You do have to find a rep to buy them, but my friend said they have reps in the states. Try googling “Zyia Active” For the ladies that are in Canada here is a link to the rep I buy from. She has events that you can buy from and get entered into a draw for 50%off an item! I’ve won! They ship all over Canada.

mycanadazyia.com/zyia-kw-Kitchener

I just wanted to share, because these bad boys actually made me feel sexy in my body!! I know that can be an issues for some of us who were worried about the weight loss. My bulge is sucked right in and I looking fine AF.

Anyways, how are you ladies doing? I’m in that weird sizing where not really plus size but not really normal sizes... anyone got tips on tops and bras? I work in an office so def in need of professional looking tops.

Edited June 21, 2021 by APJPollett

[1Artist 19]

On 5/14/2021 at 2:20 AM, Leeyo84 said:

@APJPollett I'm so glad I found your post! I really wanted to reply as soon as I read it, so I haven't read everything else that's been posted, but I will.

I'm terrified of what I'm going to look like.I think about it every second of every minute. I'm 36, 280lbs 5'5". I've been fat all my life. I've grown attached to who I've become. I think I've used my fatness as a suit of armor. It's protected me from life.

I wish I could accept myself as is and promote body positivity. I believe surgery is the right choice for me. I have health issues and I want to have a baby while I still can. But I still feel shitty and scared. Everything I've read online promises that everything is going to change. My relationship, my friendships, how people treat me. Everything is going to change, and it terrifies me to my core! I know how to be fat, I know how to handle people as a fat person... it's all I know. I don't know how to be anything other than. And I'm giving it all up to be something else.

I'm worried about unwanted attention from men too. Usually my fat body and strong personality push men away, but what if by losing weight I become an easier target!?

I'm just losing my mind a little. Mind you, it's the end of day one of my 2 week liquid diet and I did not enjoy today at all. I'm just venting. But I'm grateful that I found your post. Thank you.

Hi, I just found your post. How have you done since surgery? In response to your concerns I want to say that you will, at least I found that I have forgotten about my before size. I feel much more comfortable with others and not self conscience at all. I haven't had time to work outside or exercise this year because I've been so busy. My anemia has slowed me too. I do think that some are getting the surgery too young. I would be concerned that the new revision to our organs would be a set back and it is much better to lose the lbs by sensible nutrition. I'm interested in how you are doing.

[Gin14 4]

I totally feel ya !. I am only 4 days post op and already having some regrets . I too did this for my family and myself of course , I have Littles that I want to be more active with and go on vacation without asking for a seat belt extension on the plane .
But prior I lived to eat and loved who I was and was not ashamed of my size , don't like it don't care attitude. Now eating 2 spoons of Fluid and being in constant fear of getting a leak , or passing out from not getting enough calories in . I'm looking forward to the day I can eat again , more than reaching my goal weight.

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