Did you Tell your Kids???

[FLMan 0]

I asked this question on Dr. Kuri's website and had lots of imput so I will ask again.

I am having surgery on 1-10-2008 with Dr. Kuri in Mexico. I travel a lot in my job so not a big deal for me to be gone. I am not telling them at first. I will tell them after I get home and start seeing some change.

What did you do? What did you say to your kids or familY?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!

[jewelee 0]

I am not telling my kids. They know that a doctor is going to put some medicine in mommy's tummy that will make it not hurt. My 9 year old isn't really buy that, but she hasn't questioned it too deeply yet. I don't want them freaking out, and we've also decided not to tell everyone else, so I didn't want my kids blabbing it all over either.

I do plan to talk to at least my oldest eventually.

[Wheetsin 714]

I will tell them after I get home and start seeing some change.

Whether or not you tell someone - totally your choice. However, as someone who has been banded going on 2 years, let me give you a bit of anecdotal experience.

When you're banded, and achieve restriction, at some point you're probably going to be in pain, and or have to yak up gross stuff. The pain can be over in an instant, or it can last hours and hours. The yakking can be over in one try, or it can take 10, 15, 20 tries. There's just no way of knowing. And it's also very likely that you'll experience some of this prior to seeing change in your body. In other words, the majority of bandsters have their first "uh oh, restriction..." encounters long before the point where they're noticing their results.

Again, totally your choice, don't get me wrong. I would be concerned, if I had kids, that having them see their parent go through this (when you're hurting and having to yak, you can't really do much to hide or disguise it, it HURTS, and the yakking isn't something you can "disguise") could scare them quite a bit. Do consider that as you make your decision.

[make33 2]

Wheetsin is right on the money!

AND do you know what your surgeon's do to close the incision areas? My surgeon uses staples and they weren't removed for a week after surgery, so it was extremely uncomfortable. Just be careful, because children generally love to run up and hug--it may just be very scary for them to NOT know what's going on.

You guys know what's best to tell or not tell your children, so good luck to both of you...

[FLMan 0]

Thanks for the replies. I forgot to mention

I have a 14 year old boy.... going on 4

and a 11 year old daughter going on 30!!!!!

I know I am going to have to tell them I just don't want them worried while I am in Mexico. And I don't want other family members giving me

advice.

I will need support but after it is done not before... does that make sense?????

[vballmom 0]

FLMan

I had decided not to tell my 11 year old daughter until the day of surgery because I knew she would worry. When I went to see the therapist for my lap band evaluation, I ask her what she thought and she said that I should tell her asap and let her ask me any questions and answer them to the best of my ability. She said that otherwise my daughter would assume things that might not be true and cause her to over worry. So that day I sat down and told my daughter and explained everything to her and answered all her questions and she has been great about it. I told her that she and daddy could go and have Breakfast while I was in surgery. One of her questions was do you think they serve pancakes in the hospital cafeteria. ha ha It's up to you, but I feel better having told my daughter the truth. Good luck and best wishes. My surgery date is New Years Eve!!! I will be having Vicodin instead of Champagne.

[wnt2lose 0]

My kids knew about my decision from the moment I got my insurance approval. My girls are 14,12, and 9. They have been totally supportive of my decision since then. My oldest, who has like 5% body fat thought I was going to starve myself. The other two were understanding. I was glad I told them. That way they didn't have to worry about me the week after surgery, and they understood why I couldn't eat food for so long before and after surgery. I figured they were part of the reason I wanted to get healthy and wanting to change our eating habits so we can all be healthier, so why not let them know.

[coolcrystal 1]

I have noticed that a lot of people seem to be embarrassed about getting banded in Mexico and don't want their friends and family to know that part until after they get it done and have lost weight. But, there is no shame in going to Mexico to get it done. I know there are a lot of great doctors out there. But, last year when I had thought about going to Mexico I mentioned it to two people and they flipped out! "no, you'll die" and, "they are dirty there". So, I can understand why you are hesitant to tell people you are going there.

[Lynn_Marie 0]

Yup...all 3 of them know. The oldest one had RNY and has lost 170# himself.

[bandster_1007 1]

i have a six year old son, who is already a little obsessive about eating healthy and exercising. a lot of this could be from my being heavy. his dad is very active and fit, and he is always telling him that he has to eat healthy and exercise.

well, my son knew that i was having surgery and that my stomach was going to be sore, but he didn't know the details. and then, one night--i believe it was after my fill, and he said, "i'm so sorry that you had to have surgery mama, i sure wish you could eat". that was when i explained to him that i had surgery to help me lose weight, and that it was hard and it was painful, but i did it for my health. and i told him that i had gotten into a really bad habit of making bad decisions with my food and not exercising. i told him that is why it is so important to eat healthy and to stay active, because if you don't you may end up having to have surgeryto help you lose weight. he understood. now he tells me that he can't wait for me to lose weight -because he hears me say that. i actually felt much better being honest with him. and maybe it will play some role in helping him when he is older (he's already a "big" kid, not fat..but big, he 6 years old and he is 4'2" and weighs 73 lbs.

[wombat712 2]

I told mine everything. Boy 14 and girl 10. I gave them all the details that I had. I told them what I wouldn't be able to eat and that I'd be on liquids, mushie food and then back to reg. food. They had no surprises; obviously they were concerned and maybe a little worried. Mostly they just wanted to feed me a bunch of bad stuff that I'll never have again. I think I gained 5 pounds the last week before surgery

[Kaitiana 0]

Mostly they just wanted to feed me a bunch of bad stuff that I'll never have again. I think I gained 5 pounds the last week before surgery

That's so sweet! *lol* Sweet that they were concerned for you not getting to have certain foods again. Awwww!

[babygrl1234 6]

I told both of my children. Now my kids are very young (6 and 4) and I don't think my 4 years old really had any grasp of what was going on. My six year old however was very interested in everything. After my surgery we spent a lot of time watching "Big Medicine" which she really enjoyed. She know that Mommy wanted to be healthy and that I had tried everything else. We talk alot about health in general and making good food choices.

[Louisianagirl 0]

I told my 7yr old and sometimes she acts like she has the band.

[nume130 0]

I had to tell my kids. They are 17, 20, 22. It was impossible to hide my preop dieting and my daughter had to take me to and from my surgery. If I could have hidden it from them, I may have but I'm not sure if that would have been wise relationship wise.