Surgery Scheduled and Telling No One

[TimeToFeelFit 6]

Some people thrive off of support. Some find their way best on their own. I am in the latter group. Only my husband knows and he is the only one who will ever know. It’s no ones business as far as I’m concerned. You do what is best for you! If you lose weight quickly and questions start, say “Thanks! I’m working hard at it”. And you know what? You will be telling the truth! You got this girl! Do it your way. However it works best for you is the “right” way.

[samann 11]

Hi all! I am new to this board as a member although I have been reading for a few weeks. My VSG is scheduled for May 10th and I am excited, anxious, nervous, scared, excited, excited and excited!
I am going this alone. The only person I have told is my mother and that is because she is my emergency contact. I am not telling other family members, friends or coworkers. I will NEVER tell other family members (oh, the judgment) but I'll probably tell friends after the fact. I know my friends will be there at my side pre-op if I needed them to be but I just need to do this alone. Not sure why but I can't deal with having an audience or unsolicited advice.
Did anyone else decide not to tell anyone, except for a select few, before the procedure? Did you still keep it to yourself afterwards when the weight loss started to be noticeable?
A part of me feels guilty for not sharing beforehand but I know not sharing is what is best for me. [emoji4]

My surgery as May 6th and I did not tell anyone about the sleeve, however, I was having issues with my heartburn and part of my tests before surgery found that I had hiatal hernia, just told my coworkers and family I was going in to get that fixed. I too don't want to tell anyone. It's personal and that's okay..... Good Luck we got this

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[ShanIAmVA 65]

6 hours ago, TimeToFeelFit said:

Some people thrive off of support. Some find their way best on their own. I am in the latter group. Only my husband knows and he is the only one who will ever know. It’s no ones business as far as I’m concerned. You do what is best for you! If you lose weight quickly and questions start, say “Thanks! I’m working hard at it”. And you know what? You will be telling the truth! You got this girl! Do it your way. However it works best for you is the “right” way.

Thank you my height and GW twin. The closer I get to having surgery the more convinced I am that only telling one person (mother) was the absolute right decision. And lately I am regretting even telling her. I get a LOT of calls and texts giving me pre-op diet advice and mental preparedness advice. I finally had to tell her to give it a rest. LOL Of course, I did tell her that I appreciated her enthusiasm and support. haha

Thank you for your response and validation!

[ShanIAmVA 65]

3 minutes ago, samann said:

My surgery as May 6th and I did not tell anyone about the sleeve, however, I was having issues with my heartburn and part of my tests before surgery found that I had hiatal hernia, just told my coworkers and family I was going in to get that fixed. I too don't want to tell anyone. It's personal and that's okay..... Good Luck we got this

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Oh no, I am so sorry about the hernia but glad that it was detected and it can be taken care of at the same time. And you are so right - it IS personal. I am a very private person too and telling everyone my business has never been comfortable for me. I can do it here, on the internet, but never ever IRL. And when I am sick, I just want to be left alone. I can't deal with hovering. LOL

Good luck to you also. May 6th will be here very very soon. I'll be looking forward to sharing our updates!

[rphinn 0]

Hi all! I am new to this board as a member although I have been reading for a few weeks. My VSG is scheduled for May 10th and I am excited, anxious, nervous, scared, excited, excited and excited!
I am going this alone. The only person I have told is my mother and that is because she is my emergency contact. I am not telling other family members, friends or coworkers. I will NEVER tell other family members (oh, the judgment) but I'll probably tell friends after the fact. I know my friends will be there at my side pre-op if I needed them to be but I just need to do this alone. Not sure why but I can't deal with having an audience or unsolicited advice.
Did anyone else decide not to tell anyone, except for a select few, before the procedure? Did you still keep it to yourself afterwards when the weight loss started to be noticeable?
A part of me feels guilty for not sharing beforehand but I know not sharing is what is best for me. [emoji4]

Same for me. You don't need the judgment and negative comments. Go for it!!

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[samann 11]

I am on my pre Op diet and its is getting real. I am so nervous but I know this last year of nutrition classes and changing my behavior habits about food is going to set me up for success. I am glad I took a year to get to the surgery instead of rushing through it.

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[TatiFati 5]

I didn't tell anyone other than my spouse. It's not anyone else's business. By chance during the initial exams, they found a serious gallstone problem that required the gall bladder removal. That, and some related complications, kept me in the hospital for a number of additional days and that was not a secret.

[tamm2x 11]

Btw, when my insurance packet was submitted by my bariatric surgeon, I called the insurance company to see how things were coming along. The lady asked me if I wanted them to put a rush on it? I didn’t even know that was an option. She said that then I would have an answer in 48 hours. So I did and now I’m two weeks post-op!

[abeattywhite 0]

Hi all! I am new to this board as a member although I have been reading for a few weeks. My VSG is scheduled for May 10th and I am excited, anxious, nervous, scared, excited, excited and excited!
I am going this alone. The only person I have told is my mother and that is because she is my emergency contact. I am not telling other family members, friends or coworkers. I will NEVER tell other family members (oh, the judgment) but I'll probably tell friends after the fact. I know my friends will be there at my side pre-op if I needed them to be but I just need to do this alone. Not sure why but I can't deal with having an audience or unsolicited advice.
Did anyone else decide not to tell anyone, except for a select few, before the procedure? Did you still keep it to yourself afterwards when the weight loss started to be noticeable?
A part of me feels guilty for not sharing beforehand but I know not sharing is what is best for me.

I did that and I found myself eating things I should've been. Just because I was hiding my sleeve procedure from the people I'm close with & ended up gaining weight. Now I had to have a revision from a sleeve to the full gastric bypass.

ABeattyWhite

[lmsrny5 51]

I told my parents and my in-laws this past week after dreading telling anyone but my husband and close sister. My surgery is Friday.

I felt obligated to tell my parents incase something awful happens. Neither of them have ever been overweight let alone obese and both of them hurt my feelings. We have a strained relationship already. I regret telling them. My MIL is wonderful and wishes nothing but the best for me.

Work knows I’m having surgery but I haven’t said what kind. I’ve lost almost 50 lbs during pre-op so losing more weight won’t be a surprise- they know I’ve been dieting. I am using sick time and vacation during my absence so I didn’t have to fill out leave paperwork. I happen to work in the department that handles that stuff and I didn’t want my team or boss to know. I’m a pretty private person and just dread having people know. Working from home has been a godsend.

I have three major events coming up this year where I will see my entire extended families. I’m curious to see if people stare or are brave enough to ask me questions. I’ve been heavy all my life. Highest was 280 something and currently 230. I’m 5’8”

[Pkump 47]

Thank you for sharing with us. We understand what you are going through. This is a tremendous place to get support nd device. Best of luck to you.

[STLoser 1,099]

I don't really need other people's support except my husband, son and mom, but I'm also an open book, so everyone who knows me knows I had the surgery. I don't know that many people though lol.
That is is a choice everyone has to make for themselves and you are obligated to tell no one!
I'm just not good at keeping things to myself so I told people.

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[Chantrella 125]

On 4/6/2021 at 8:21 AM, ShanIAmVA said:

Hi all! I am new to this board as a member although I have been reading for a few weeks. My VSG is scheduled for May 10th and I am excited, anxious, nervous, scared, excited, excited and excited!

I am going this alone. The only person I have told is my mother and that is because she is my emergency contact. I am not telling other family members, friends or coworkers. I will NEVER tell other family members (oh, the judgment) but I'll probably tell friends after the fact. I know my friends will be there at my side pre-op if I needed them to be but I just need to do this alone. Not sure why but I can't deal with having an audience or unsolicited advice.

Did anyone else decide not to tell anyone, except for a select few, before the procedure? Did you still keep it to yourself afterwards when the weight loss started to be noticeable?

A part of me feels guilty for not sharing beforehand but I know not sharing is what is best for me.

I didn’t tell anyone but my boyfriend. Not even work knows. I just told my boss I was having surgery on 3/3 and that’s it. I’m not telling anyone either.

[GiCoDr 13]

I did it exactly like you are doing it.

SURPRISE! Skinny me!

[Chantrella 125]

6 hours ago, GiCoDr said:

I did it exactly like you are doing it.

SURPRISE! Skinny me!

Lol I agree I was 268 when I started my leave from work I’m now at a 215 stall. I go back 5/10. I’m looking forward to people’s reactions.