No help for the wicked

[divaliciousdee 0]

GREAT THREAD! Thanks for bumping it Crystal. I needed this! YOu are truly one of the greats on this site!!!

[FuelMan 2]

I was always fat, and I never went to the doctor. Wonder Why????? When ever I when into the doctors office, weather it was a broken finger or a scalp wound, he always said you should lose some weight!!!! YA THINK ???????? I was only around 550 to 600. And him thinking I needed to lose weight. The nerve.

I would go to the beach with a shirt on, you know because when you where a shirt or a sheet people can't tell your fat. I would only wear black, because it makes you look thinner, LOL. The only way you was going to make me look thinner was to close your eyes. Today I am an enlighten fat man, I know what I can do and what I can't do. I once saw a fat guy try sitting in one of those "Poly Type" chairs??? You know the white one peace one's. NOW, any enlighten fat person knows darn well you can't sit in one of those, (Well.... you can if you double them up). Anyway he sat in it, and to no ones surprise, all four legs went in four different direction. That was not the really sad part, he was stuck in the chair, and the people could not get him out. And he could not roll to the side because of the chair legs, kind of like a turtle on his back. I was both sad and wanted to laugh my head off. You see he was not aware of his size or his weight. Thank God I don't live there any more. Being aware is what helped me get the Band, I am still having trouble and am stuck at a 200 lb loss, but 390 is no place to stay. I will be on the move again, I need a small fill, right now there is 2.25 in the Band and I think I need 2.75, that should do it. Thanks for the thread & all the replys there GREAT. Butch

[Jessiebear 2]

I would like to have see that doctor (overweight & having asthma) take his own advice & try to run! Un-ladylike snort inserted here! I feel your pain with the asthma thing! Thanks for bumping! Great thread!

[loopylou 0]

I gave up smoking two weeks before my surgery - so thats....um 6 weeks ago. And that was a piece of Bl**dy cake compared to this food business. Everyone has their vices though and I know some people have a really hard time giving-up, but for me food was always my 'drug of choice', smoking doesn't even compare for me.

[DevilMayKare 1]

Warning: personal religious beliefs to follow...I respect the fact that we all don't share the same beliefs, I won't blast yours if you will treat mine with respect please. (not YOU Crystal, just anybody reading and getting their panties in a wad cuz I believe whatever)

I'm so glad you bumped this...back when I first read this post, I was doing a Bible Study on Femeninity with a lady at my church. Great study, but I was also able to find the words to say aloud that I really felt spiritually inadequate because of my weight.

...Call me a prisoner of my own spiritual beliefs, who knows? But I also feel I will never be able to find out what there is to know and understand while stuck in this big ole body.

Okay, first I want to say that I am not a "Christian" in the general use of the term, but God & I are on fine terms. And in a past life I spent quite a bit of time with the Bible.

For those of you who are Christians allow me to suggest you go back and re-read Romans 8 with the idea that Paul is talking exclusively about eating. The old man/new man is an absolute CLASSIC diet struggle. The struggle between what we know is right in our heads and what our emotionals are compelling us to do is universal. It really doesn't matter if it's food, sex or herion--the obsession/compulsion emotions are the same. You're weak and inadequate? Yeah, that's called human. If you are "spiritually inadequate" I guess Paul was too.

I say this just as someone familiar with the theory, not one who necessarily subscribes to it, but wasn't the whole point of Christ dying on the cross supposed to address the spiritual inadequacy of mankind? Remember the part about being saved by his grace and not your works?

Ohhhhh I hope this post isn't a big mistake. I don't start a big religious snafu here because that is not my intent. It just kinda drives me crazy how much some of our society's currernt "Christian" dogma does not have a true scriptural basis and being fairly well-versed in scripture I just have to say something sometimes. I mean it to be helpful. Re-read R:8 and tell me if it's not.

[the best me 6]

I say this just as someone familiar with the theory, not one who necessarily subscribes to it, but wasn't the whole point of Christ dying on the cross supposed to address the spiritual inadequacy of mankind? Remember the part about being saved by his grace and not your works?

Ohhhhh I hope this post isn't a big mistake. I don't start a big religious snafu here because that is not my intent. It just kinda drives me crazy how much some of our society's currernt "Christian" dogma does not have a true scriptural basis and being fairly well-versed in scripture I just have to say something sometimes. I mean it to be helpful. Re-read R:8 and tell me if it's not.

Okay, I'm posting before re-reading Romans 8 (this semester's Bible Study is Romans...how Karmic! Oh, that's Providential, oops! ) but you are so right...it's the universal human struggle. I appreciate your insight and will very likely be looking for feedback on what I read...Thanks!!!

[banded_for_life 2]

Gosh, there are so many good comments on here. Last night, god it was like I was 13 years old again. I was out playing with the virtual model and my husband and I was laughing and having a good time with it. My mother comes up and has me build her model, so I do.

Then out of the blue she says now that is the perfect Keri model. I looked at her in shock and said...you built this model and she said I know and that is what your goal should be. According to her, I should have a goal of 125. I said mom, this is about me and my weight loss goal. I advised her if she wanted to get back down to 125, (she is probably somewhere around 150) she was welcome to do so.

Then she preceeded to argue with me about the entire thing. I finally made her mad enough that she stomped off to her room in a huff. Man...just when you think you are grown up, the haunts of your childhood just slap you in the face sometimes. My husband who was witness to the entire thing, later said, I finally see what you had to deal with as a child. I love my mother, but I will never make her see, that she can't make me over in her image!

[ReneBean 3]

Bumping by request of the Queen.

You did start it in February - but it was bumped last in September - and that is where I found it.

:]

[vinesqueen 2]

Bumping because I needed to re-read it.

[Dragonwillow 0]

Don't know why this is the first time I've read this...since its be bumped so many times...but hey thanks for keeping it bumped.

When I finally decided to have surgery my primary care doctor wasn't on board. Why? Because obviously I could just diet and loose. I had to take in a YEARS worth of fitness records I had kept, exercising between 1.5 - 2 hours a day, 5 days a week and not loosing weight. Part of that time I was on one of the national programs. (not weight watchers...i think highly of that program) and the counsler had told me when I wasn't loosing weight even though I was eating exactly what they said....Oh you are exercising too much. I trained for a marthon....how much weight did I loose....a couple of lbs...nothing to justify the amount of work I was doing. I was walking not running...but its amazing how much advice the fit runners thought they needed to share with my 250lb self. Had any of them EVER been 100lbs overweight? Maybe..but none of them claimed that. Finally after much detailed journalling on my food and exercise my doctor thought...Hey....you might have some kinda of promblem. How many years I had I been going to this doctor? about 10 years. How many of those years had I been asking for weight loss help and showing frustration...probally all 10 years. When he found the thyroid promblem...he said...ah now you will lose weight. Like it was some type of magic pill. He still resisted the idea of surgery....why because I was SOOOO young, and could still diet. HELLO, I've been dieting since the age of 12! People that don't have a weight issue...really do NOT understand.

Melissa

[Kryssa 1]

When I finally decided to have surgery my primary care doctor wasn't on board. Why? Because obviously I could just diet and loose.

HELLO, I've been dieting since the age of 12! People that don't have a weight issue...really do NOT understand.

Melissa

This was so familiar to me! I lost 55 lbs. (310 to 255) after my ex-husband walked out on me, so my PCP was convinced that if I stuck to a diet I could lose the weight. Um, no. The only way I managed to lose that weight was because I was an emotional wreck and I didn't eat hardly anything for nearly six months. I'm talking like 1 lean pocket a day. Once I recovered, it was only natural that I started to eat again...and the weight loss stopped. My insurance made me go on a 6 month diet and exercise plan before they would cover my surgery (as if dieting had never occured to me!). 1200 calories, Water aerobics twice a week, and cardio/strength training twice a week. I lost 2 :eek: pounds! :faint: I have had so many people tell me it is my fault I am so heavy. My sister lost 50 lbs last year (now 125) and she is of the "if I can do it so can you" mindset. People at church have suggested I try the "Body by God" class. My mom used to tell me Snacks and junk food were only for my brother and sister, who didn't have a weight problem, and not for me because I was so fat. If anyone should have "gotten it", it should have been Mom, after all, it's her butt I've inherited! Anyway, all of this is the reason I told noone about my surgery. They just DO NOT get it! I am doing this for me, not the ignorant normies.

Thanks for letting me vent...you guys are awesome!

[gentlespirit 1]

The way docs treat overweight people is one of my pet peeves. My physical therapist sister (also large) says if you went in for tennis elbow, they'd tell you it was because you were overweight! Several years ago I went to my ob-gyn for the yearly thing and he told me I needed to lose weight and had I ever thought of a diet. I could have killed him (he weighs about 125 pounds soaking wet). I went out of that office feeling like a second-class citizen for the first time in years. I went home and wrote him a letter telling him I would never go back and that I found it insulting to be treated like I had never thought about losing weight. I told him anyone who is my size has thought about it almost constantly and that he needed to change his attitude about obesity...if it was a simple fix none of us would be obese. I doubt that it changed his attitude but it was really liberating for me. I found another ob-gyn (also skinny) who is very respectful and understanding...just says, of course you know your weight is an issue...gives me credit for being an intelligent, thinking human being.

I had never written a letter like that in my life, but it was a real breakthrough for me regarding not taking crap from anyone who doesn't understand. I found out later that the first doc's patient numbers were falling because apparently he has the people skills of a potato.

Emily

[Dragonwillow 0]

My mom used to do stuff like that too. Who do you think put me on my first diet at 12. Who bought me the diet pills that eventually made me ill in my teens? Then guess what would be considered an afternoon snack when she didn't have me dieting? A hotdog. Not a apple...there was NEVER fruit in our house it seemed...and if there was it was mom's plums or peaches...not for us. My mom had a weight problem all her life and decided that she was going to fix me before I got too fat....in acutalty...I think she helped create the problem by forcing the yo yo dieting so early on.

Congrats on your surgery.

Melissa

[FuelMan 2]

I to also came from an overweight household. Mom was always on a diet, or pills. I caught the brunt of her anger at her out of control eating. I was also her eating buddy when she needed comforting. I guess, I found out early just how comforting food can be. What I did not know was how destructive overeating can be. As I grew up, there was always a weight problem, and I was always the biggest kid in the class, so you can image the jokes and teasing. I did learn to fight and shrug stuff off, or laugh. I never went to doctors for that same reason, "you would break a finger, and the doctor would tell you to go on a diet". I understand more now, and I see things in a different light. I was trying to lose weight all those years, by bulling my way through it. I have lost over 1000 lbs in the last 20 years. 200 lbs off & 200 lbs back on. When I was at a more normal weight, I had no idea who I was. I would look in the mirror and not even see me, I could not be this person. So many feelings came up for me I had to start eat'in, like I was going to the Chair, or I would fly off the face of the earth.

Today I am an enlighten fat person, and I know who I am and who I want to become. I except myself with the "Jelly Donut", this way I can except myself without it. I know I am fat (370) and there is stuff I can and can't do. But, it's not like I don't know it, DAM who do you think lives in this body??? Anyway, this is a great thread, and I would love to see it keep going. Best to all you guy's, and keep up the good work. Peace

Butch

[vinesqueen 2]

Time to bump this.

Wow, so much has changed since I originally started this thread. It was 3 months before I was banded, and I was really struggling with my asthma. I mean, really struggling. Death looked like a real possibility.

I really thought that by now I would have lost if not all my excess weight, I would have lost a big whack of it. I was sure that I would be a size 16 by now, not still 22/24. But that is not in the cards for me. I still struggle with this.

But I suppose I should have clued into the "sudden weight gain" since no one else seems to experience that particular "joy." I've since learned that it's one of the hallmarks of Cushing's, and I've had to come to terms with learning that my journy is not the typical journy.

Someone on a recent thread was commenting on how pissed they were because someone told them that by having WLS they were not doing it "right" that they were not doing it the old fashioned way. That somehow having the band was cheating and so any loss woul be less valuable.

I personally think that WLS is the easy way, because it makes it makes it possible for so many people to actually lose weight and keep it off for possibly the first time in their entire lives. I have absolutely no problem with this being the easy way, becaus I have no need for people to suffer. I see little value in adding suffering and grief to life. It's hard enough without looking for extra hardness to add.