Why doesn't being "skinny" fix it all?

[phyllisc 0]

Nothing is every going to fix everything. And everything is never going to be fixed. But I will settle for fixing my fat butt and getting it into some sharp looking fanny flattering duds. It is just 1 down and 9,999 left to go. But congratulations, you fixed a major one.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am searching out overeaters Annon. I have heard they talk about their problems there, and talk about how they don't use food to cover their problems anymore. That's what I need.

I have spent years in therapy, and I have two very good friends that are therapists. It's very true that we need to work on our problems now that we are feeling our feelings instead of covering them up by stuffing our faces.

By the way, as much as I loved my mom, she always told me I needed to lose weight as she was bringing me huge plates of food.< /p>

[REDGIRL 0]

Sometimes Your Family And Your Friends Are The Ones You Think Would Be In Your Corner But Instead They Try To Discourage You. But Be Stronger Nd It Will Pay Off In The End!!

[Lana24 10]

I can't even tell you what I would give for a magic bean or a pill or powder...(lol) that could fix all my problems ! But the Enlightened truth is that life is a journey, plain and simple. Without conflict there would be no struggle that forces growth and without growth there would be no life...making this all pointless. Just because someone is related to you does not mean that they KNOW the path, or that they are even on the path it just means you share blood. That's it...

So with that being said I think it is ok to exclude some people, take others under your wing and with the majority a casual hello will do.

I have been over weight my whole adult life and my mother and I had to come to an agreement that my weight was just something we don't talk about. (mainly because she really knows how to sabotage) this was something I had to learn on MY journey if I wanted to keep her in my life. Good luck Lana

[Lana24 10]

I am searching out overeaters Annon. I have heard they talk about their problems there, and talk about how they don't use food to cover their problems anymore. That's what I need.

I have spent years in therapy, and I have two very good friends that are therapists. It's very true that we need to work on our problems now that we are feeling our feelings instead of covering them up by stuffing our faces.

By the way, as much as I loved my mom, she always told me I needed to lose weight as she was bringing me huge plates of food.< /p>

Hi Denise,

Yes OA does give you an opportunity to talk about your problems, but then what? I have been there, I walked, I talked, I joined, I ate salad and still no magic... Knowing does not "fix" the problem, knowing and talking help but in the end you are still responsible for the work...good luck

[snowbird 2]

And by the way, you are WAY too young to be having a midlife crisis.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am really not sure how or if OA works. My town is so small, that I am not even sure if there are OA meetings here. I think it does help to talk, and some people on this board have mentioned different books that are good to help us work on our issues.

[Tonks 0]

For me it has changed a lot.

In my case my mother just don't really get how the band works, she is still trying to make me eat in her case she wants me to eat more but not candy, healthy foods. No matter how many times I have explained to her that I'm full she doesn't get it. She is such a good mother and has helped me a lot. Some female friends... well that is a different history, there are jelous persons all around but mostly at work (obviously they don't know about the band, but somehow they don't like the fact that I'm loosing weight).

All my issues are still there, the thing is that now I have to deal with it on a different way, and sometimes is not as easy to do it. Also I have realize that as I was losing the weight I was also getting the power to speak for myself and to defend my opinions an points of view more strongly, that cause me a lot of problems too.

[suzyt 0]

We were all strong enough to realize we needed help with loosing weight and chose the band to do that. You'll make it through these trials as well. Remember to vent whenever you need to -- we'll be here!!

[nina874 48]

I think that losing weight gives you the chance to distinguish between the problems that were caused by how you felt about the way you looked, and the problems that run deeper.

Once you can split them off you can deal with them, and sometimes it is a wake up call that there are things that need outside help.

Getting them separted is just the first step, but losing the weight, and knowing what a huge difference you were able to make in that area of your life can give you the belief in yourself to tackle the other areas.

The main problem is that you can change how YOU feel but you cannot force that change on other people, they have to want to change, or at least accept your reality. That part is considerably more tricky....

[joleighp 0]

Brandy,,Do you have a food journal? If so,, I would like to see some of your pages,, you are a great inspiration...you look wonderful,, I hpe you can find the positive side of your weight loss ,,much luck!!!!!

[Melody2006 1]

I have 13 pounds left to loose and I'm going through all of this. I'm afraid of being my goal weight on one hand. And now I feel like everyone is watching and looking at me now, before I was invisible. I have more self esteem as a person now. So many changes and learning lessons for me through this journey.

I'd like to hear some updates to previous posters of this thread who were going though self struggles. This is an old thread. Do things get better later on?

[Lana24 10]

Hi Melody,

I know what you mean. I am not near goal but I wull be very, very soon...But since the very beginning of this journey I wondered, "What happens next?"

I asked myself this question for at least the first six months and now I have answers. I plan to keep on living, keep on smiling, Keep on loving... this journey will be as easy or as difficult as I make it. No one else gets to decide but me.

My advice: Find something you love (other than food) and enjoy and then... keep on!

[Bmaz 0]

This is an awesome thread with so much experience, strength and hope! I agree with the comment about updating us on these struggles- the good, the bad, the ugly. All of us on this journey need what you (old timers) have. Thanks for sharing, and as I go for my 1st fill next week, I can't hardly imagine what being a more normal weight will feel like. Beth

[Cassy 0]

Can I ask a bizarre question?

Have any of you noticed that there is an equally large group of strange people that either stare at you or talk to you about random things vs. those that spoke to you before when you were heavier?

I used to always get the misfit people who would talk with me or would make eye contact for whatever reason and now I get people who would not normally have spoken to me but they say or do the strangest things. It is throwing off my whole perception of normal. I think I liked the first group better.

Is it just me? :thumbup: