Why doesn't being "skinny" fix it all?

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Why is it that I thought being "skinny" would fix everything? I thought all of my problems with my husband, my family and everyone else was just all about being fat. Why do we think these issues will be fixed once we loose weight? And why do some get even worse?

I am having maybe a mid life crisis?? Ugh...and these last few pounds are pissing me off to no end...

[Jachut 487]

Yeah, if only being skinny meant I had a renovated Californian Bungalow in leafy Glen Iris!

Sigh. Still stuck in bloody Narre Warren in a 1993 3 bedroom brick veneer. Shucks.

Its hard, I dont think there's anyone that doesnt imagine at times that being skinny will change their entire life. Hugs to you.

[Lana24 10]

Brandy,

your transformation is amazing, best wishes

[plump_princess 1]

I think life changes, good or bad, just magnifies what was already there. Change is stressful, but usually ends up being a great character builder.

Your transformation is inspiring and nothing short of amazing.

Good Luck to You,

[LizzyM 0]

Perhaps the fact that you are at a healthy weight will give u the strength you need to work on other areas in your life that need a tuning. Being the weight I am now only makes me hate myself more and the thought of trying to fix a marriage, or just anything else is too overwhelming. I too have many things to fix and hopefully when I get my surgery I will become the strong woman I used to be. Good luck!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Thanks to all of you. I think a lot of the problems in life for me before were because I was overweight. I see differently now. Sometimes life gets rough. I am overwhelmed though and decided I need to get some help! Thanks so much!

[Chickie 15]

The reality for me is, I am still pretty much the same person thin, as I was fat.

My outside changed, and I found a few new strengths and identified a few weaknesses, but apart from that, I am the same old Sam.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

The reality for me is, I am still pretty much the same person thin, as I was fat.

My outside changed, and I found a few new strengths and identified a few weaknesses, but apart from that, I am the same old Sam.

And that is why we love you.

I guess I expected those who treated me bad before to change. Not happening and it hurts alot.

[Chickie 15]

And that is why we love you.

I guess I expected those who treated me bad before to change. Not happening and it hurts alot.

I found that people who treated me bad before, treat me worse now.

It's not about me (for once! LMAO) It's about them, and their insecurities.

My mother is a super example of that. Bless her soul. She is such a jealous person, I swear green is her natural colour. She was always jealous of my family, home, car, and lifestyle. But I was fat. She was (and is) thin. So she had that so she could feel superior to me in some way. But when I lost weight I took that away from her, and now she has nothing to feel "better" than me for. So she treats me like dog shit on her shoe.

Part of me wanted her to be proud of me. To praise my effort. But no. Things are much worse now than they ever were because I took her security blanket away.

And I knew it was in her nature to be this way. So I am not surprised. But I am disappointed in her.

But in all honesty. When I look around there are more people who are proud of me than who aren't. I am sure if you look around, it will be the same for you.

((huge hugs Brandy))

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Funny, my mommy dearest is one of my problem people as well. She is trying to sabatage me as well. Bought be a ton of candy for my birthday, ugh....

[Chickie 15]

I had to accept that I was the adult in our relationship. And since I started treating her the same way I would my kid (if she says something bitchy, I give her "the talk" that I would give my son in the same situation) she has been much better. All I have to do is look at her, and she stops mid sentence.

She used to buy chocolate, and crap all. the. time. She would tell me that she really couldn't see that I had lost weight (at 100lbs down!) That I had "cheated" by having a band... She wanted to see me fail. Not because she doesn't love me. But because she was desperate to hold onto the one thing that in her mind, kept her in control.

Our relationship has changed. A lot. In some ways for the better, some ways for the worse. She isn't happy with the way things are now, but she knows all she has to do is cut the shit, and act like an adult, and I will treat her like one.

[Gone4Now 4]

Funny, my mommy dearest is one of my problem people as well. She is trying to sabatage me as well. Bought be a ton of candy for my birthday, ugh....

The only other diet I've been on that was remotely successful was the Atkins. It was working until my birthday and my mother bought me a cake. I told her not to, no candy, no cake - did she listen, no!

I think she was sabatoging me because we've always been fat together. But, I also think she did it out of love. For most of my life, food made me happy and it was the only way she knew how to make me happy. We'd leave the dentist - and go to McD's for a milk shake.

So, the dynamics of our relationship has to change, and I know it will take time. I've been struggling with her and my daughter. She's given up tempting me, and now feeds junk to my daughter whenever she can...Now my daughter needs to lose 30 pounds. It's a never-ending battle, but we have to hang in there.

My best friend, my mother, and people at work seem to be against me. But, I am not doing this for them, and that's all that keeps me going. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and wish I could be more help. But, all I got is a "hang in there" and "it'll get better".

You got good friends here, and we're not going to feed you candy...Promise.

[Daniel.Tup 0]

Girl can we talk? Before I started this venture I decided to see a counselor. I was not going to go through surgery only to regain this weight again. Seems that once you stop medicating yourself with food to stuff your feelings down you actually can feel. My relationship of 13 years is going down the toilet because I don't like the way I've been treated. Believe me all your feelings are valid. As long as no one is being hurt physically its easier for me to deal with them on the outside than stuffing them down with food. Needless to say I’m a bit more vocal than I used to be. As they say to bad they don't make a band for the brain.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Girl can we talk? Before I started this venture I decided to see a counselor. I was not going to go through surgery only to regain this weight again. Seems that once you stop medicating yourself with food to stuff your feelings down you actually can feel. My relationship of 13 years is going down the toilet because I don't like the way I've been treated. Believe me all your feelings are valid. As long as no one is being hurt physically its easier for me to deal with them on the outside than stuffing them down with food. Needless to say I’m a bit more vocal than I used to be. As they say to bad they don't make a band for the brain.

Yeah, I am loosing my relationship of 15 years as well for that reason!

[DonHoll1 0]

Fixing it all will always be an inside job. My insides are as messed up as my outsides some days, but i am working on it.You should be very proud of yourself, you have done great job and look wonderful. Donna