Danger! Wife Nearly Died From Surgery

[juney1968 2]

i'm sitting here crying reading the posts about kbugmom. Realizing that people point to me now because I'm fat. They probably laugh, cause I used to be a really hot chick. I also realized that I don' t go out of my house somethimes for weeks,cause I don't want anyone to see me. Everybody's comments are making me want the band more. I feel so bad for you kbugmom. I want you to realize for me this is my last chance. I'm 40 this year, and getting fatter by the minute. I've tried every diet, weight watchers etc.I've even had liposuction 2 times to try and curb the fat I knew was coming. I have 2 small boys,3 and 5. I'm doing this as much for them as for me. I want to be able to run and have fun with them without the fear of my knee giving out, or my back seizing up, or feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack. I've only been dealing with being fat for 5 years. I can't imagine how desperate I would be after 31 years. I want to be here for my kids, enjoying life instead of hiding from it. My children are missing memories because I'm scared to go out anywhere. I want my life back and I know this will do it for me. Your mom must have been so desperate to change her life she was willing to risk it. Don't kid yourself she knew what could happen , we all do. Was she really living? I don't think so. I think you realize how desperate she was. Now she does't have to worry about being big any more, now she doen't have to feel embarassed or ashamed anymore. Now she doesn't have to think about food ever again. Now, she is at peace.You will be to, once you realize she is. Very sorry for your loss.

[Kat817 19]

Juney that was a very sweet and touching post! It is so hard to make someone understand the torment you face going out into the world in an unacceptable body---one you were given to take care of and failed is how it is seen.

When you get the band and it actually works, and life begins looking up again, those feelings faded pretty fast for me! Reading your post reminded me of a lot of them-----I hope your banding goes well.

Welcome to LBT!

Kat

[juney1968 2]

I'm really glad I joined this site. To talk to people who understand what its like to be trapped inside a big body, is really priceless. Not having your family's support is the worst! Husband is all for it but mom and dad say that "I'm sick" to want to do this. What they don't understand is I'm doing this b4 I become sick with high blood pressure or diabeties,and I'm pretty sure I've crushed some disks in my back (had x-rays last week) and I think I need knee surgery. It is inevitable something wil give out. It's just a matter of when.

I thought about kbugmom all last night and I really hopes she comes back and reads all the posts that everyone writes.She needs to understand how bad it can get. If she continues to post she will find healing here.

thanks Kat

[kurvaesious 0]

I hope that everything is going well Juney.

As for family members agreeing, you have to follow your heart. If you feel tired of not feeling and looking your best you have to make your own decisions about your health with most people in your life. You have to ask yourself: "are these people going to sit by the side of my hospital bed, wash me, feed me, give me my shots, etc? Also, are they going to pay for your insulin, tens unit, pain pills?

I love for my family and friends to help me with their advice because I don't know everything. But I had all sorts of physical problems (high blood pressure, borderline diabetes, severe depression, agoraphobia, and sleep apnea, back and knee arthritis). When they started telling me that they were against the surgery I listened to each of their complaints regarding bariatrics. I looked up answers for all of their concerns and only after I was satisfied with the answers and the percentages of complications I let them know that my mind was definitely made up and didn't look back.

So far, I have lost 71 pounds as of last month.....I will get weighed in at the veteran's hospital tomorrow!!

Hang in there girl.

Edited September 18, 2008 by kurvaesious

[kbugmom 0]

Hey Juney,

When I made my first post about my mom I was angry. I felt like it was the surgerys fault that my mom passed away. As my seasons of grief come and go I have become a little less angry with the "Surgery"

I know this surgery is what my mom wanted. She was tired just like you. She was miserable. She hated going in public. She hated being the way she was. My mom was at the point of where you are now. She was at her last chances. She had stayed inside b/c she was so miserable with herself and she began to eat even more. Thats all she did b/c she hated being around people b/c of the points and stares.

I know my mom did what she thought was the only option she had left. I know if she had not had the surgery I would have lost her anyway. She would have become even more miserable. My moms dad is still alive and he's 74 and he's 350lbs. His quality of life is nothing. He can not drive b/c he's too big to get behind the steering wheel of a truck or vehicle. He is in a power chair b/c his legs are so tired of all the weight that he can't even walk far. He's on lasik meds to help flush off the Fluid and he can't walk fast enough to make it to the potty sometimes. He swells really bad and he's a miracle that he's alive. He can't go places b/c he's on the lasik meds and he can't get in to public restrooms fast enough to use the potty so he won't go out of the house in fear he'll have an accident. He's in a retirement community not in assisted living b/c he's stubborn and refuses to be in assisted living but he is supposed to get one meal a day that is included in his montly fees and he is too big to go up to the dining hall to eat b/c he can not get in the bathrooms on his power chair and he can't walk with out a walker and so he wouldn't be able to go up and eat and not have to potty so he just doesn't go. There is no quality of life. He has not been out of his apartment since January except to go to the doctor which I used to take him but its gotton so hard that I've had to hire help to get him to appointments.

SO, I do know how hard life is when you are over weight. I have lived with my mom and my grandfather both going through this. The only thing I have not gone through is having the weight physically on me. However its hurt me so bad as a child, teen, and now an adult to see what my mom and papa have gone through. I can't imagine being them.

So I can not really feel your pain but I do see your pain b/c I saw it in my mom and now in my papa and its miserable and I don't even live with the weight they had and have on their bodies.

Please forgive me for being angry at the surgery. I was just so angry b/c I lost my mom that I wanted to blame it on the surgery. it was fear and all I wanted to do is tell others of my moms story. I was so angry that I had not heard about the complications that can occur but my mom did know. She just didn't want to tell me b/c she didn't want to worry me. She knew the risks and she still made the decision to go ahead.

She did what she though she knew best to do it just was her time and nothing, no one, and no surgery will stop your last days on this earth. It was just her time and now as I have gone through my journey of grief and still continue to go through it every single day, I realize that my anger took over and I hope you all understand that my reactions were a part of my grief process.

For all of you have have chosen to do this or are thinking of doing it I wish you all the best of luck and know that you are the only one who can make that decision. Just trust your heart and you will be ok.

Good luck to you and all of you who are considering this.

Kbugs mom won't be posting much anymore. I appreciate all of you allowing me to vent my anger and tell my story of my mom. I had wanted to find a way to tell people about my moms story and this forum alloud me to do that. I felt like there was something I Had to do. You hear about all these people trying to raise money for cancer, disease, and there are people out there raising money for research why can't there be something about raising money for research for obesity and if there is why can't there be money raised for the safer methods of lap band and gastric bypass?

Thank you all and Good luck to all of you.

Kbugmom

[privatedancer7 1]

It is unfortunate regarding the gentleman's wife that nearly died. I think that it is important to hear what has happened to others, even though it may be a rare complication. I too am experiencing some difficulties even after I had the lapband removed. Please know that I am not a troll and I accept my fate but I wish that I would have looked into possible scenarios after lapband removal. Frankly, I never thought about it and focused my attention on my doctor's record regarding the surgical implantation-not removal.

Private Dancer7

[Vinca 0]

Hi, so sorry to hear about what happened to your wife how long after she had it done did this happen? And what were the syptoms??

[Vinca 0]

Hi Mitcha, im sonya, sorry about your complications was gonna ask what kind of symptoms so I can know if something is wrong or maybe reaoson to go to Dr. you know sometimes we deal with things thinking maybe its normal or itll go away. Any advice appreciated. Hope you are doing well.

[MacMadame 81]

This thread is over a year old, guys.... you aren't going to get your questions answered because the guy doesn't post here any more.

Edited April 30, 2009 by MacMadame

[chubbyboomer 0]

Very ill with nausea and vomiting due to lapband.

Going into hospital for lapband removal on Tues, May 26,2009. Had lapband put in Aug, 2008. Big mistake.

Can eat only liquid and soft foods. Horrible teeth and gum problems, major Hair loss and God only knows what else surgery will uncover. Not worth all this suffering.

Took a gastro doctor to point out lapband was the problem. Was told by nurse to get use to daily nausea and vomiting as that is life with your lapband. Glad I found a new doctor to help me.

chubbyboomer

[Kat817 19]

Sorry you have had problems, but "get used to daily nausea and vomiting" is just wrong.

Look around, the vast majority have no such problems, especially on a daily basis. This surgery would never have received the OK in the USA if that were the case.

Good Luck with your removal, and your new Dr.

[sharona 2]

Very ill with nausea and vomiting due to lapband.

Going into hospital for lapband removal on Tues, May 26,2009. Had lapband put in Aug, 2008. Big mistake.

Can eat only liquid and soft foods. Horrible teeth and gum problems, major hair loss and God only knows what else surgery will uncover. Not worth all this suffering.

Took a gastro doctor to point out lapband was the problem. Was told by nurse to get use to daily nausea and vomiting as that is life with your lapband. Glad I found a new doctor to help me.

chubbyboomer

I agree with Kat that is not the norm at all. There must be a serious problem not identified prior to surgery or poor placement. Good luck to you and don't give up a good GI surgeon should be able to find a solution for you.

sharon:)

[Mary Kay Lady 0]

Chubbyboomer...sorry for your troubles...but you are the exception to the rule - NOT the norm.

It sounds like your band is too tight if you're not able to take in anything but liquids and soft foods. And the fact that you have lost hair and have tooth and gum problems points to not enough Protein in your diet...NOT a problem of the band - that is solely the patient's problem - WE control what we put into our mouths...we always did. Even if you are limited to liquids (as most of us are immediately post-op and after each fill)...and to pureed...(again post-op and days 4-6 after each fill)....YOu control what type of liquids and pureed foods go in....Drinking McDonald's shakes instead of a Protein shake made wtih fat-free milk is not the problem of the band...it is OUR problem....the band is a TOOL...it is not the BE ALL or the END ALL...WE STILL HAVE TO MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES as to WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR BODIES!!!!!!

I'm sorry this did not work for you....but you have to work at it for it to be successful! Sounds like you expected it to do all the work for you!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Chubbyboomer...sorry for your troubles...but you are the exception to the rule - NOT the norm.

It sounds like your band is too tight if you're not able to take in anything but liquids and soft foods.

Why are you so quick to determine the band is too tight? It could be that scarring is growing under the band causing too much restriction, it could be band intolerance, it could be a slip, it could be a lot of things.

And the fact that you have lost hair and have tooth and gum problems points to not enough Protein in your diet...NOT a problem of the band

Hair loss is NOT necessarily from a lack of Protein. It happens with weight loss, a change in diet, surgery, a shock to the body, it can happen from a lot of things. I was never short on protein and I lost about half my hair. Everyone has their cures for Hair loss, protein, Biotin, extra Vitamins, special shampoos... truth is, it will stop when it stops. It happens with all WLS types, it just doesn't happen with every person.

The dental problems could be from PBing all the time. The stomach acid does a real trip on your teeth.

- that is solely the patient's problem - WE control what we put into our mouths...we always did. Even if you are limited to liquids (as most of us are immediately post-op and after each fill)...and to pureed...(again post-op and days 4-6 after each fill)....YOu control what type of liquids and pureed foods go in....Drinking McDonald's shakes instead of a protein shake made wtih fat-free milk is not the problem of the band...it is OUR problem....the band is a TOOL...it is not the BE ALL or the END ALL...WE STILL HAVE TO MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES as to WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR BODIES!!!!!!

Here we agree completely. You are chanting my mantra. ;o) If you can eat bad food you can eat good food.

People that are not losing well with a band and blaming it on not being able to make good food choices because of the band... those are probably the people that need malabsorption instead of restriction alone. I had a heck of a time eating food when I was banded but I made good choices so even with all my band problems I still lost quite well and I busted my back side with exercise.

I'm sorry this did not work for you....but you have to work at it for it to be successful! Sounds like you expected it to do all the work for you!

Now we are back to disagreeing. Not everyone is band material. Those that have issues with inflammation, those that have band intolerance, etc. Not all band problems are the fault of the patient and to automatically assume so really isn't fair to the person you are responding to. You have to start asking questions, see if they are chewing well, what are they getting stuck on, do they realize "full" feels different banded than unbanded for most (they keep eating looking for the old "full" feeling and it isn't going to happen so they overeat and barf). I guess my point is that it's really common and easy to assume it's all the person but that isn't so. I was the perfect bandster, I did everything the right way and the band about killed me.

Considering the number of revisions from band to sleeve and band to bypass... maybe, just maybe it's the band. I'm not comfortable with beating someone over the head playing the blame game the day before they will lose their band. :smile:(