Waiting on a date and social media thoughts

[ajb1029 33]

Guys...I got my approval letter! Just waiting on the finance office to receive necessary insurance documents and then the surgeon's office will be in touch to set a date!!

Now, how many of you posted on your social media after surgery? I have every plan to, my friend's list are all people I have met in real life and I'm not overly worried about negative dumb asses but I plan on cleaning house if they show themselves. Anybody highly recommend against posting about your surgery due to horrible blow back? Just curious.

Long story short, just waiting on insurance finalizing with hospital and a date!!!

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[futureshrink 45]

I had lap band surgery about 10 years ago and I posted everything. Long story short band slipped twice and had to be removed a year ago.

i have opted for gastric bypass for a number of reasons but I have let very few people know this time and haven’t posted anything on social media. This is why.

when I had my first surgery I was thrilled, it worked, I worked hard and lost about 100 pounds. Everyone wanted to talk about it. And then my band slipped and I gained every pound back. And then I had the band repaired and I dropped 100 again. And then it slipped again and I did nothing about it until my weight crept back to my original weight over a 4 year period.

I was not prepared to have to explain my story over and over including my failures. I also found that even though I was not in a huge body anymore, I still felt every bit as fat as I had when I weighed the most. I needed to process not being a fat girl anymore and I found I didn’t share the same excitement as everyone else. I never got any bullying or negative comments, even after I failed and people who love you will be over the moon at your progress.

For me, it’s a choice to not have the super personal conversations over and over with people that aren’t in my inner circle. And to be honest, I am my own worst critic and every goal I don’t accomplish doesn’t need explanation to people I went to high school with. But that’s just me. I’m more selective about what I share now than I was 12 years ago.

this time I started an art journal as part of the Brooklyn art project. It goes to a library I. New York anonymously. I can get my story out on my own terms.

[Mr Alley Gator 263]

I highly suggest you wait you are going to go thru a lifestyle change and one of the bumps are head games. The last thing you need during this journey is bullshit and feedback from Social media. This is you time do not let others ruin it for you. Down the road you may be ready but it is a journey and i see nothing in social media that can help you on this journey, all I see is trolls and idiots messing with you

[catwoman7 11,220]

it's a personal thing. I only told my immediate family and a few close friends. I didn't want all my co-workers, casual friends, etc to know (I wanted to be able to pick & choose who I told), so no way would I have put it on social media. But some people do - again, it's a personal choice.

[billho 248]

I can only speak for me, and you have to decide what is best for you. For me, no way. The decision to get WLS was very personal and involves addressing some difficult stuff and embracing the failures of trying to manage my weight on my own. There are a lot of "friends" that are super fit and would never understand what it is like to walk in my shoes.

Then again, I almost never post anything personal on social media,... my wife, however, if she went through this, she'd post every detail. Fortunately, she honored my request to not mention this about me with her "friends".

If you want to put it all out there, you may want to be prepared for some negativity or unsolicited advice.

Edited October 30, 2020 by billho

[Jaelzion 1,127]

I didn't post about my WLS on social media; however, I just had my knee replaced and I practically live-tweeted that. So it really depends on your comfort level. Another option is to communicate about your surgery only via private message rather than posting publicly. But if you want to go public, there's no reason to hide it. It's your choice.

[ajb1029 33]

Thank you guys for all your insight! There were more than a few things that I hadn't really thought about as being a side effect of posting on social media(especially hadn't considered working through my mental and emotional challenges on top of potentally dealing with other people's issues). While I am still at least probably a good month or more out of surgery, I will probably hold off on announcing the surgery except for the wls support groups on Facebook that are private.

My coworkers know and all of them are completely supportive(I don't have any close friends but consider them to be the closest things to friends) and my mom who I live with currently is 130% on board as well. I think I will keep the tiny day to day details limited to those and only in person....at least until everything stabilizes in a year or so post op.

I appreciate all the feedback, I knew I could count on y'all for some good advice! [emoji4]


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[futureshrink 45]

2 hours ago, ajb1029 said:

Thank you guys for all your insight! There were more than a few things that I hadn't really thought about as being a side effect of posting on social media(especially hadn't considered working through my mental and emotional challenges on top of potentally dealing with other people's issues). While I am still at least probably a good month or more out of surgery, I will probably hold off on announcing the surgery except for the wls support groups on Facebook that are private.

My coworkers know and all of them are completely supportive(I don't have any close friends but consider them to be the closest things to friends) and my mom who I live with currently is 130% on board as well. I think I will keep the tiny day to day details limited to those and only in person....at least until everything stabilizes in a year or so post op.

I appreciate all the feedback, I knew I could count on y'all for some good advice!


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I think you have good support and that’s really important. I would agree that this is the safest place post. Folks here get it...the whole spectrum of successes and failures and struggles and triumphs. I feel like if I was having a bad day for whatever challenge is happening that day, I could post here and feel like I was getting support and encouragement . You’ll do what’s right for you and what’s comfortable for you. We all have different experiences, limits, and thresholds.
Best of luck to you. 🥰

[danahall5885 21]

I’m nearly finished with the requirements for WLS. I weighed 283 when I started going to the clinic in July. I went down to 266 then crept back up to 270. In March when pandemic began I looked up an old acquaintance. I hadn’t seen him in 25 years; kind of an intuition got me to call him. We talked frequently and more and more. Long story short, it’s now November and we both feel deeply for each other. I’m older and I never thought I would feel this way again; I haven’t been married for 20 years. It’s crazy how close we have become!

But we haven’t seen one another in person. We live 3 hours apart. I told him I am having wls & was not completely honest about how much I wanted to lose. I said 60 pounds but it’s really 90. I’ve been honest that I am obese & I would not feel comfortable being intimate. He seems to understand.

But it’s caused me to feel a little pressure & yesterday I said I can’t get there until end of March. I figured I can lose 1 1/2 lbs/week between now & surgery appx end of December. That’s 20... if i lost 25 in January and 15 then 12 Feb & March... that’s 72 pounds so I could be at 200 by end of March. Do you think this schedule of wloss sounds reasonable?

[futureshrink 45]

17 minutes ago, danahall5885 said:

I’m nearly finished with the requirements for WLS. I weighed 283 when I started going to the clinic in July. I went down to 266 then crept back up to 270. In March when pandemic began I looked up an old acquaintance. I hadn’t seen him in 25 years; kind of an intuition got me to call him. We talked frequently and more and more. Long story short, it’s now November and we both feel deeply for each other. I’m older and I never thought I would feel this way again; I haven’t been married for 20 years. It’s crazy how close we have become!

But we haven’t seen one another in person. We live 3 hours apart. I told him I am having wls & was not completely honest about how much I wanted to lose. I said 60 pounds but it’s really 90. I’ve been honest that I am obese & I would not feel comfortable being intimate. He seems to understand.

But it’s caused me to feel a little pressure & yesterday I said I can’t get there until end of March. I figured I can lose 1 1/2 lbs/week between now & surgery appx end of December. That’s 20... if i lost 25 in January and 15 then 12 Feb & March... that’s 72 pounds so I could be at 200 by end of March. Do you think this schedule of wloss sounds reasonable?

Weight is such a shame based thing. I remember the first time I put my real weight on my drivers license. I think you should be honest. He knows you are having WLS. If you were truthful wouldn’t that be a relief? I think pushing yourself too hard for a man is dangerous. This is your journey, you started this before you reconnected. It’s easy for me to say if he doesn’t accept you for you he isn’t worth it...but I get it. Just be safe and know we are here to support you. 🥰

[danahall5885 21]

Tonight we talked about the surgery. I told him I don’t feel comfortable telling him my actual weight. But I did send him a full-length picture. He sent back a thumbs up but hasn’t anything yet. Being a mature guy who has also struggled with weight I think it will be alright.