Regained weight support

[Ohsv1966 6]

Good morning all. First time posting. I was sleeved in 2014 - never hit goal. Lost 80 lbs and gained almost all back. I have tried a few times to regain control - but portions, carbs, wine, sweets and sliders have all undermined all I went through. Lack of good consistent followup with a nutritionist and surgeon contributed (I moved away from where I had surgery). So, here I am. I have tried to restart the plan again and again with limited success. Of course Covid has kept me home and cooking for family- I am a good cook and a “foodie” to my detriment. I have some walking issues but expecting delivery of a indoor recumbent bike soon! I have never done well with support groups in person but I’m willing to give this a try. I’m a very positive person and have health resources at my disposal - very grateful for that! hope you are all doing well. I’ll start by leaving this here and consider your responses.

[The Greater Fool 2,023]

Welcome to the forums.

You already know the solution, as you discussed in your post.

So far, you haven't done it consistently. You know this is the problem.

You need to figure out a way to do your plan consistently. Get rid of all those things you already know are you problem.

Good luck,

Tek

[summerset 5,265]

3 hours ago, Ohsv1966 said:

I have tried to restart the plan again and again with limited success.

If you restarted "the plan" (I guess the diet you started out with after surgery?) again and again without much success it's time for a different plan. It's ludicrous to try the same thing over and over again without making sensible adjustments.

What are your major hurdles? If it's portion size you might want to start eating more of the less calorie dense foods. If it's meal frequency, maybe IF is something to your taste?

[BriarRose 432]

Hi !

I am ten years out ! I had regained about 45 pounds of my 145 pound weight loss .... and decided it was time to lose it again. So just over a year ago, I started with cutting down on treats to one a day.... and then going from chips with lunch or eating out during work days to bringing a salad to work.... then back to either steamed eggs for Breakfast or oatmeal. And concentrating on eating Protein first and foremost. And cutting out potatoes and sandwiches, and Pasta and back to finding the freshest vegetables and fruits I could and making healthier meals and making sure there was leftover chicken for lunch the next day, and eating grilled fish and veggies ..... and in 13 months I lost 45 pounds. No, it doesn't come off like it did right after surgery, but I still have some restriction and I know what I need to do.... I won't ever be a skinny woman.But I am alot healthier and I am back to where I got after surgery.. I started at over 320 pounds and had surgery at 54 years old. I am now 64, and back to where I am comfortable. My new goal is to maintain the weight loss, and maybe lose another 5 pounds this next 12 months or so.... but I am very happy with myself. You can do it. One cookie not eaten at a time !!!

[DiZia 5]

Hi !
I am ten years out ! I had regained about 45 pounds of my 145 pound weight loss .... and decided it was time to lose it again. So just over a year ago, I started with cutting down on treats to one a day.... and then going from chips with lunch or eating out during work days to bringing a salad to work.... then back to either steamed eggs for Breakfast or oatmeal. And concentrating on eating Protein first and foremost. And cutting out potatoes and sandwiches, and Pasta and back to finding the freshest vegetables and fruits I could and making healthier meals and making sure there was leftover chicken for lunch the next day, and eating grilled fish and veggies ..... and in 13 months I lost 45 pounds. No, it doesn't come off like it did right after surgery, but I still have some restriction and I know what I need to do.... I won't ever be a skinny woman.But I am alot healthier and I am back to where I got after surgery.. I started at over 320 pounds and had surgery at 54 years old. I am now 64, and back to where I am comfortable. My new goal is to maintain the weight loss, and maybe lose another 5 pounds this next 12 months or so.... but I am very happy with myself. You can do it. One cookie not eaten at a time !!!

Well done for maintaining most of your weight loss for decade, though!

Sent from my JSN-L21 using Tapatalk

[BriarRose 432]

7 minutes ago, DiZia said:

Thank you - but losing that 45 pounds has been really exciting for me !!!

Well done for maintaining most of your weight loss for decade, though!

Sent from my JSN-L21 using Tapatalk

[ohs1966 6]

Thanks for the suggestions. You are right - I do know what I have to do. But I appreciate the input from you! ☺️ I’ll start making a plan and swing into action. Lots of good reasons to fix this issue and just need to take a few steps to move forward.

[nicolemcc1 6]

I am in a very similar boat as you. I had surgery in September 2014, started at 325lbs, got down to 205lbs, got pregnant and then ballooned from there. I have tried time and time again to do a "reset" and get back on track, but my food addiction (despite the restriction that I still feel) has been my biggest challenge.

I decided this week, when I got on the scale and was the heaviest I've been in 4 years at 265lbs, that I needed to go back to basics. Focusing on high Protein, healthy fats, and making it a point to check in with myself to make sure I don't just eat out of boredom and determine when I'm truly hungry.

Like you, the wine (transfer addiction much?), slider foods, and high calorie/carb foods have always been my downfall. I'm here to help support you! That's what these forums are for - advice and support. I fully believe that I personally didn't have enough of the emotional support that you need to work on getting those issues under control.

[Ohsv1966 6]

Thank you. Sounds very similar. I had a nutritionist who said to me “I have a feeling you may fail this”. She was a no nonsense person and I was really taken aback. It was after quite a bit of my weight loss and sometimes I wonder if it was a self fulfilling prophecy! . Maybe she was just very experienced and I must have said things that clued her in. She is not my nutritionist any longer- I don’t have one at the moment. I have all my materials since my surgery that I can review and I thought time to time this forum would be a good source of info and support. It’s great to hear what other people are doing and what gets them by day to day.

[summerset 5,265]

Just some random thoughts:

- big problem with regain is that the feeling of "having to do it allover again" is a crippling feeling

- having to endure all of this not-eating and not-eating favorites and whatnot while still/again being obese is a double whammy and - again - a crippling feeling

- that big momentum and rush of being immediately post-op simply isn't there, plus see the two points above

- "going back to basics" without having a plan how to proceed further from there is pointless - it didn't lead to lasting success the first time. Why should it lead to success now?

- don't get me started on that motivation and commitment crap when it comes to "sticking to the plan this time no matter what" - people swore that every time they started a new diet lifestyle change before WLS

- "try harder" is bull crap, "try smarter" instead

Going to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day.

[nicolemcc1 6]

1 hour ago, summerset said:

Just some random thoughts:

- big problem with regain is that the feeling of "having to do it allover again" is a crippling feeling

- having to endure all of this not-eating and not-eating favorites and whatnot while still/again being obese is a double whammy and - again - a crippling feeling

- that big momentum and rush of being immediately post-op simply isn't there, plus see the two points above

- "going back to basics" without having a plan how to proceed further from there is pointless - it didn't lead to lasting success the first time. Why should it lead to success now?

- don't get me started on that motivation and commitment crap when it comes to "sticking to the plan this time no matter what" - people swore that every time they started a new diet lifestyle change before WLS

- "try harder" is bull crap, "try smarter" instead

Going to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day.

While I certainly understand your point, much of the negativity isn’t helpful for myself, the OP, or anyone else struggling.

Personally, I went through several major life events in 2 short years following my surgery. Pregnancy and divorce. Two traumatic events that led me to cope in poor ways (primarily drinking and overeating/eating poorly).

What have I personally done in the interim to help me get back, mentally & emotionally, to where I need to be? I’ve been in counseling since 2017. I’ve started seeing a nutritionist on a monthly basis.

I also haven’t been taking the nutritionists seriously. I’ve been doing 1/2 of what I should do (the eating part) while still drinking wine 2+ days a week. So, I’ve made up my mind that I need to focus my therapy on coping with the stressors that lead me to wine and I’m going to stick to the nutrition plan I’ve (mostly) been sticking to.

I get tough love, but regain is a real thing for a lot of people. The feeling of failure already exist. Encouragement is welcome, negativity is not.

[summerset 5,265]

6 hours ago, nicolemcc1 said:

While I certainly understand your point, much of the negativity isn’t helpful for myself, the OP, or anyone else struggling.

That "negativity" you're talking about might actually be a helpful reality check. What's going on in the back of one's mind who've regained and is going to face "it all again"? Don't tell me that there isn't this nagging fear of "failing again".

Quote

I get tough love, but regain is a real thing for a lot of people. The feeling of failure already exist.

Do you know how many people who've regained might be feeling exactly like this? Sometimes reading it written down makes something click in your mind and even if it doesn't there might still be the feeling of "Yes, that's exactly how sh*tty and scary all of this feels. Finally someone understands!".

People need to accept reality and work from there. And the reality is: losing regained weight is hard as f*ck from both a motivational and emotional point of view. There is no use in denying this.

All this "you go girl", "tschakka" and "you're going to nail it" might be some nice cheering on but it's not going to help in the long run either. An "I can imagine how bad you must be feeling!" might be more helpful than all these standard motivation mantras.

My post has nothing to do with "tough love". It has something to do with accepting things like they are. If it's dragging you down when reading it, maybe as yourself why it does that.

Quote

Encouragement is welcome, negativity is not.

You might think that my post was "negative" and that's ok of course but don't project your own feelings you have in reaction to my post onto others. That's not helpful at all for the OP or anyone else for that matter as well.

[ohs1966 6]

I’m open to all points of view on this . Lord knows I’ve pondered all of it! It IS discouraging and disappointing and frustrating and at the same time, I’m still glad I had the surgery because it gives hope and a tool that I can use. I’m healthier overall and despite my regain I’m still the same person. It’s always a work in progress with a dark side and the light. Thanks for all your good input everyone. I am learning from you! 🙂

[Lily66 425]

Once again, one size doesn’t fit all and that’s the great thing about a forum like this, as a smorgasbord with many perspectives and options sans calories. Generally speaking, with just a tad of introspection each of us know what we need to do, given the individual circumstance we’re in.

There have been times in life that I needed direct straight talk and other times when ‘I had the facts’ yet needed the positive Can Do!, You Go Girl!, You Got This!, support and motivation that community can provide. Both were and are valid needs. Both were and are available on this forum, both were and are what make it a great place! Take what we need and leave the rest.💖

Edited October 13, 2020 by Lily66

[nicolemcc1 6]

13 minutes ago, Lily66 said:

Once again, one size doesn’t fit all and that’s the great thing about a forum like this, as a smorgasbord with many perspectives and options sans calories. Generally speaking, with just a tad of introspection each of us knows what we need to do, given the individual circumstance we’re in.

There have been times in life that I needed direct straight talk and other times when ‘I had the facts’ yet needed the positive Can Do, You Go Girl, You Got This, support and motivation that community can provide. Both were and are valid needs. Both were and are available on this forum, both were and are what makes it a great place! Take what we need and leave the rest.💖

Excellent point, and agreed. I felt very taken aback by the response bc I didn’t feel like the OP came here for the straight talk and some of the responses were directed at things I had said.

In either case, I realize the forum is open to all types of individuals, some of us need or want positive reinforcement while others are looking for the opposite.

Regardless, let’s all make today a great day! 😀