Self conscious

[Riva_G. 40]

How can I learn to not feel embarrassed every time I eat in public? I’m pretty much good with how my body looks. (I mean everyone sees flaws in themselves) but I can’t seem to shake the feeling of shame every time I eat in front of ppl. Like they r looking at me and thinking‘ well obviously she’s fat, look how she’s eating’ I know I’m wrong but how do I stop?

[Hop_Scotch 1,632]

Perhaps some counselling may help??

[Recidivist 1,141]

After surgery, I was actually self-conscious at how little I was eating in restaurants and would tell servers I wasn't feeling very well.

The bottom line is that you are doing this for YOU. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks and just be proud that you are doing the right thing for your body and your health.

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[JessLess 1,163]

We're not far from the same size, but I've never had that issue. I concur with the suggestion of talking to a counselor. Most people at restaurants are just concerned with eating their food and aren't looking at or judging you.

[Lily66 425]

A helpful and easy to read book, Amazon, not expensive:

What You Think of Me is None of My Business

It may just take care of everything!😊

[catwoman7 11,213]

I had this issue when I was morbidly obese, but I don't any more.

[lisafrommassachusetts 319]

From your profile it appears you are 18 years old. Speaking strictly from my experience, I was much more self conscious at that age than as I got older. I was an average weight person then, but was self conscious about probably a million other things. In our weight obsessed culture it makes sense that you aren't shedding negative body image thoughts as fast as the pounds. My hope for you is that through this process, with or without the help of a good therapist, you find your power, claim your voice, and nurture a healthy self love.

Sent from my SM-G965U using BariatricPal mobile app

[JRT Mom 919]

Ahhh, it's hard to remember how self conscious you are as a teenager. When you're my age you don't really give a sh*t about what people think--it's one of the few advantages of getting old!

Riva G, just remember that you've lost almost a hundred pounds and look GREAT! So try to focus on your accomplishments instead of what you think people are thinking about you. They are probably not watching you and thinking badly of you, but even if they are, you are doing this for YOU and your health! Good luck and hang in there--you GOT this!

[Riva_G. 40]

@jrt mom, thank you!!!!! I really appreciate it! I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis transitioning from High school to getting a job, having my entire group of friends betray me, and having my summer plans canceled due to COVID-19... thanks for putting this all into perspective

[BlueIGT 84]

It took me many years of of being self conscious of everything about myself. I worried about what other people saw when they looked at me, worried that they were judging me. I let what I thought they were thinking about me stop me from doing things I wanted to do. I let what I thought they were thinking about me rule my world and my how I viewed myself. But one day in my early 40's I had a really good conversation with myself. I decided that on that day forward I would not let what I thought others thought of me affect me in anyway. In fact I no longer cared what others thought of me, I only cared what I thought of me. Some days I liked me, some days I didn't and that was okay.

I realized that I gave 40 years of my life to people I didn't know. Who cares what they think? Not me, not anymore. I used to walk with my head down so I could avoid eye contact. Then I started walking with my head raised high and I looked at their foreheads, not their eyes because I wasn't ready to make eye contact. But I held my head high, I was not ashamed of myself, or my weight anymore. We are all different and if they wanted they judge me based solely on my weight or what I ate, then screw them. The more I held my head high the more I really didn't care. It's my life not theirs. I spent so much of my life worrying about other's peoples opinion about me. Opinions I never heard, I just assumed that's what they were thinking.

At the end of the day, what other's think of me is none of my business. If they want to judge me without knowing me, it's their loss not mine. I am caring, funny, and loving person and honestly I have no time for judgmental people, they are downers and I want to live a positive happy life. If I could wish for one thing for anyone struggling with their weight or self image, I wish they would learn this lesson that I learned in my 40's when they were your age. I wish I felt this way back then. I wish you felt this way, it takes time but you can. Baby steps. You are special, you are not your weight, you are you, you are one of a kind. You are beautiful no matter what, you just need to believe it and stop caring about what other's think.

[Riva_G. 40]

@BlueIGT wow... that sounds amazing. I wish I could do that... I also struggle with a touch of social anxiety which makes that whole thing u wrote about nearly impossible. But I will try. I’m sick of living for others, because of others, and by others. I’m an adult now and it’s time for ME to take control. Everything I’ve been doing was to fit in and be liked in school. From the way I dressed to the way I spoke to the way I thought of myself. I graduated a week ago and up on that stage I made a promise with myself to be ME and not live for others. My friends were not to keen on that idea..... I’ve been getting better slowly. But this eating shame is something I really still struggle with. I think I might have gotten that from an eating disorder I went through about 4 years ago. Although I’ve gotten over starving myself I still have that shameful feeling. I am trying really hard to do this without professional help. I managed to overcome an eating disorder alone without even my parents knowing. I feel I am strong enough to do this. I just need a bit of direction

[BlueIGT 84]

I also suffer from social anxiety which is probably why it took over 40 years. You're in the right head space, you want to make changes and maybe they will be baby steps and it may take some time for you to get there. But I believe in time you can and will do it. How much time, who knows. I just really hope it's not another 20 years. You're so young and it would be such a beautiful thing to get that out of the way earlier on in life. I have never felt freer and I wish that for you. Slow is okay as long as you keep moving forward. You've proven you're strong by overcoming an eating disorder on your own, you got this. Hold your head up high when you're out and about, if even at first you have to pretend that you belong or that you feel comfortable or that you are not self conscious keep doing it until you believe it truly, (because you do belong). And then one day you'll realize that you aren't pretending anymore and that you actually are comfortable in your clothing, with your body, with your choices and you won't care about other people's opinions because who are they anyway? Best of luck my friend.

[Edubstar 3]

Yes I suggest therapy’s well