Regret

[Dee5656 5]

My brother just had the gastric sleeve and called me from the hospital. He is in a lot of pain and said he regrets he did this because he can't keep even Water down. I feel really bad about this and just want to know if this common to feel this way and what I can do to support him through this. Thank you

[ChubRub 1,709]

He just had major surgery. Even if it was his appendix, etc, it's normal to feel like that after major surgery. Tell him to ask for more pain meds, and just sleep it off!!! Things will be looking better very soon!!

[NovaLuna 710]

My surgery involves a sleeved stomach and yes, it's very common to second guess yourself. I struggled with my Fluid intake and they kept me in the hospital for three days because I was struggling with getting down even 8oz of Water a DAY! Eventually it got easier and I'm almost 5 months post op and get between 48oz (on a bad day) up to 80+oz. I usually average around 60oz though.

He should start feeling better around week 2 or 3 and once he starts seeing the results I believe he'll be happy about his choice then. Sorry he's having a hard time and I hope he has a speedy recovery!

[GreenTealael 25,439]

39 minutes ago, Dee5656 said:

My brother just had the gastric sleeve and called me from the hospital. He is in a lot of pain and said he regrets he did this because he can't keep even Water down. I feel really bad about this and just want to know if this common to feel this way and what I can do to support him through this. Thank you

Really common.

Support is tricky and personal so its really helpful that you know him and what works ...tough love vs soft touch etc. So try to provide him with what he truly needs. Its also pretty amazing that you are trying to support him ❤

(Personally what usually feels the most unsupportive to me is when people say "this is what YOU wanted" or "you've made your bed, now lay in it" when a person is not properly distanced from the pain, effects or influence of the perceived mistake to make it a teachable moment)

The way I usually like to be supported is by people acknowledging my feelings but not always trying to solve the problem. Sometimes just venting in a safe space is amazing.

[Dee5656 5]

49 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Really common.

Support is tricky and personal so its really helpful that you know him and what works ...tough love vs soft touch etc. So try to provide him with what he truly needs. Its also pretty amazing that you are trying to support him ❤

(Personally what usually feels the most unsupportive to me is when people say "this is what YOU wanted" or "you've made your bed, now lay in it" when a person is not properly distanced from the pain, effects or influence of the perceived mistake to make it a teachable moment)

The way I usually like to be supported is by people acknowledging my feelings but not always trying to solve the problem. Sometimes just venting in a safe space is amazing.

Yes, thank you. I think that he just needs me to listen right now with out trying to help or fix. I'm guilty of that because he is my younger brother and I'm always trying to help.

[Lanie992 168]

6 hours ago, Dee5656 said:

My brother just had the gastric sleeve and called me from the hospital. He is in a lot of pain and said he regrets he did this because he can't keep even Water down. I feel really bad about this and just want to know if this common to feel this way and what I can do to support him through this. Thank you

I felt the same way right after surgery. It is painful to drink. That goes away with time. My regrets only lasted it a few days. He will start to feel better soon and will be fine. Don't worry!

[New&Improved 1,780]

It will get better

[JRT Mom 919]

The first three days or so are the roughest. Many people struggle with fluids--it's likely his stomach is swollen. He will get better each day. Tell him to be patient with himself and don't force the issue with the fluids. The regret phase is very short lived and disappears quickly once he sees the scale start moving. Good luck to him!

[Dee5656 5]

Thank you to all who responded. I called him again this morning. He sounded a ton better! He's keeping Water down and has been sleeping a lot. Defiantly on some GOOD meds! 😉