Surgery imminent...feeling increased panic this is stupid idea

[Ashliza 1]

I'm scheduled for VGS 5/19/2020. Anyone start to panic approaching their date? What did you do to calm it? Did you back out? Or did you go through with it and regret? Or were you happy you did it?

I'm between just ignoring it and calling off my surgery. Every night I get closer, my sleep gets worse. Only thing stopping me from canceling is I've put this off for 2.5 years and I'm out of the 3 year approval window. I've literally rescheduled 3 times already since 2018. Only reason I can do it is COVID messed up the surgery date I had in April. If I back out now, I have to start all over again and I barley qualified the first time around. But I'm seriously wondering if this is the stupidest idea I've ever had and I should just let it go. It's not like I can't drop it. I just pile it back on. Maybe that's OK?

I'm thinking, I'll keep the date and if I just can't, I can't. Better to march forward than to back out. I have 10 days. Anyone else freak out like this?

[catwoman7 11,212]

I think it's pretty normal to freak out before a surgery. I've had three, and I was freaked out before all three of them.

and no - I have no regrets at all. This surgery probably saved my life and made my life about 100% better. I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

[JustGrace49 5]

Why do you wonder if it’s the”stupidest” idea? I’m having my own doubts, mine is the 27th but I think of it As more of another excuse to quit so I am going through with it. It’s almost like I am punishing myself because for the past 3 years I couldn’t do this on my own so surgery is the consequence. I want to feel better so in the end that’s why I will continue this journey.

[Ashliza 1]

I'm starting to think it's stupid for a lot of reasons. Because I'm not that big. By American standards I'm normal - size 12. I really don't have much to lose; like 41 pounds to be back in a 8. Because it's not like I can't lose weight; low carb, wholes foods and time, I can do it. I've done it; it just hasn't stuck. The problem is the minute I eat anything other than vegetables and chicken, the fat re-adheres to me. Because as I'm getting close to the date, I'm obsessively researching. The whole regain thing scares me. In my head, I'm cutting out the most of my stomach; how does the fat come back? I also don't have heart burn and cannot imagine doing this, to get that and still be fat later with bypass as the only option to fix it.

I ended up doing consult for VSG because I pilled on so much weight after a serious trauma. I was 220. I was in the plus sizes and couldn't stop the gain; meds, stress, living out hotels with bi-weekly work travel made it worse. I ended up at 240 by the time I was approved in 2018. I was bigger than my mom and a blood test showed pre-diabetic. But, friends talked me out of it and I worked to get it off. In the last 2 years, I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not a 16 anymore either. At my BMI, I'm predicted to lose slower. If I'm just going to lose 5 lbs a month with this surgery; what's the point? That's less than 2lbs per week.

It's a huge operation and if I'm just going to end up right back here, why bother? My weight loss on my own has stalled. It's the only reason I finally committed to a date in April since the clinic informed me in January I only had 4 months left of pre-authorization. I'm just really on the fence now. Maybe I should get used to this body and call it good. But I hate this body and I'm hoping the surgery will help keep the weight off, if I keep everything, but vegetables out my mouth. But maybe I should just put another 4k down on a trainer and do it that way again and keep my stomach intact. It's not like I won't get a trainer again once I'm cleared to exercise. I know it's a tool, but in all the research, the tool doesn't seem to be the answer. Hence the panic and me thinking it might be stupid for me to do this. Right for other people, maybe; me, I just don't know now.

[ms.sss 15,581]

@Ashliza ... Ultimately its up to you. While the surgery will definitely help you lose weight if you follow your plan, a lot of your success/failures and positive/negative experiences will depend on, and be affected by, your attitude and mindset.

Nobody can predict the future, so it is very possible that you will suffer complications, OR gain all of your weight back. But the odds are you won't. The majority of WLS patients have very uneventful recoveries. The majority of WLS patents lose 60-70% of their excess weight and keep it off. Some lose more, some lose less. You won't know where you fall on the spectrum until you get there.

I will say that I had a very similar pre-op experience as you. I kept changing my mind and second-guessing my decision about getting the sleeve done. I was approved way back in March 2016 and I started and stopped the process TWICE before I finally got into the right mindset of being confident with my decision...was sleeved in Oct 2018.

I had no complications and lost all off my excess weight. I've very happy with my decision, only regret was that I just didn't get it done in 2016....but I guess I just wasn't ready yet.

Good Luck!

[ms.sss 15,581]

9 hours ago, Ashliza said:

If I'm just going to lose 5 lbs a month with this surgery; what's the point? That's less than 2lbs per week.

Also, 2-3 lbs average loss a week is actually considered an normally accepted rate of loss with WLS (averaged out over weight loss phase)

Like I said above, I lost all my excess weight and my average rate of loss (not counting the first month) was under 3lbs per week. Pretty average.

Edited May 10, 2020 by ms.sss

[NovaLuna 710]

While you are at a lower BMI then most people who have the surgery you decided that it was the best choice for you in the beginning because you couldn't lose anymore weight on your own, right? It's normal to second guess your choice or even be scared of the surgery itself since you can't reverse it. So I get that. And, honestly, I don't know what you want me to say because this is YOUR life and YOU are going to have to live with whatever choice you make in the end. For me, I put off surgery for the longest time because I doubted that I'd be able to stick to such a strict diet plan, because I simply had no confidence in my own willpower. But... I decided to prepare myself before hand since I had to do six months of weigh ins just to get approved so I went on a pre-op diet that would essentially cut out all the things that I wouldn't be able to eat after surgery. I set a goal to lose 35 pounds in that six month period, and I highly doubted that I'd even succeed at that since usually it would take me six to eight months to even lose 20 pounds. But, somehow I had lost 64 pounds before my surgery and it had helped me gain the confidence that I needed to push forward with my surgery and gave me the confidence that I could actually succeed. Admittedly, hitting a two week stall recently was a huge mental hit for me, but I've been pushing on and I lost two pounds which FINALLY put me out of my stall. WLS isn't easy. I don't think anyone with common sense will tell you that it is and all the naysayers may not understand just how much work it actually takes to succeed. But, if this is something you want desperately you will work for it, and I have no doubt that you'll succeed with it. Doubt it hard to get over, but the surgery is something I don't regret. My only regret, is that I didn't do this years EARLIER. Perhaps when I weight a lot less than my max weight when I finally decided to do something about it. I wish you the best in whatever choice you make yourself!

[Cia2020 77]

A lot of people have given great advice. Another left to say, bariatric surgery is not just "cutting away your stomach". This is a metabolic reset. As you diet, your body actually sends out hormones to get you back to your "set point" which is generally a heavier weight. It increases hunger, decreases your metabolism, etc.. making it harder to lose weight or stay at a healthy weight. This hormone reset is why some diabetics can go off medication so quickly after surgery. These surgeries really do change more than just your portion size. You SHOULD be able to eat more than chicken and vegetables and still be healthy. Your diet should not rule your life to that extent. And trust me, if you keep piling it on and taking most of it off, but not all, your weight will continue to become a bigger problem over your lifetime and you will NEED that metabolic assist.

Take the chance, even if its scary. Get healthy. Use the tool of a smaller stomach, and the disconnection in that chemical signal chain, to give your body a new reset point. Break the cycle of putting weight on and taking (most) of it off. You can do it!!

Edited May 10, 2020 by Cia2020

[Kimberly 20 10]

I definitely had worries before the surgery, not only whether I NEEDED to do this (as I have lost weight w/o surgery before) but I have trauma around anesthesia. But, I did it and I do not regret it. My sister was my biggest cheerleader since I told her about my plans in October. She wiped my tears as I cried on the anesthesia table.
In terms of eating post-surgery, Some things I miss, some things I don't and some things are able to be modified. The Portion Control is major and while the effect will not last forever it will last long enough to assist you in teaching your body a new normal when it comes to eating. My surgery was on 2/11/20, Since December. I have lost 91 pounds and I have not been perfect.

You can do this.

[sdjohnson7 79]

I was sleeved on 2/27/2020. I was extremely nervous, but knew I needed to help myself. I was diabetic, HBP, arthritis and had sleep apnea. I had no complications during or after surgery, no gas pains or nausea. It’s only been 2 1/2 months and I have loss 5o lbs and no longer on meds for diabetes, no arthritis pain and only on half my dosage of HBP meds. I would do it all over again. Ultimately the choice is yours... I wish you well.

[WInston223322 160]

Everybody above has nailed it but i am going at you straight on

Two Choices you pick

1. Stay the way you are unhealthy and you will get a disease related to you being fat and Be miserable and you need to log on to Amazon and order a urn! You will be dead fast and miss out on family friends and life!

2. Get the tool that will save you life! Use this tool to kick you addiction to food and get healthy and rebound from the years of damage you have done! Enjoy more years and time and not be miserable!

1. So Pick ONE OR TWO

[New&Improved 1,780]

Started at BMI 43 now BMI 23

[Tamwell 6]

I am experiencing the panic today, surgery is set for July 4th. I've been great up until now, probably because my Pre-op started on Saturday. And now my mind and belly is telling me " think twice about this" Just trying to calm my nerves here, the people have been awesome !!

[catwoman7 11,212]

53 minutes ago, Tamwell said:

I am experiencing the panic today, surgery is set for July 4th. I've been great up until now, probably because my Pre-op started on Saturday. And now my mind and belly is telling me " think twice about this" Just trying to calm my nerves here, the people have been awesome !!

that's super common - I feel that way before every surgery I've ever had! It'll go fine, though. It's a quick, routine procedure - you'll be in the recovery room before you know it!

[JustGrace49 5]

17 hours ago, Tamwell said:

I am experiencing the panic today, surgery is set for July 4th. I've been great up until now, probably because my Pre-op started on Saturday. And now my mind and belly is telling me " think twice about this" Just trying to calm my nerves here, the people have been awesome !!

It’s normal to feel this way. I’m 27 days post op and 20 pounds down. Think of that.