READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL

[IAmGrace 79]

43 minutes ago, Cheeseburgh said:

I’m confused why you are posting. If the surgery doesn’t help you and you want to throw in the towel nobody is stopping you.

People are trying to help you but you already have it figured out.

Best of luck.

I posted just to let people know that I'm completely disheartened and am on the verge of not trying at all anymore. I was crying out for help. Does that clear up your confusion?

[Cheeseburgh 3,080]

No, I’m sorry it doesn’t. Crying out for help involves wanting help, I don’t think you want help. You’ve declared many, many times in many many ways on this forum how unhappy you are, how much you regret having surgery and how somehow after a whole 2 months you’ve decided that it didn’t work.

We get it, you hate it, you seem to enjoy complaining rather than listening to people who take the time, effort and their personal experiences to try and help you. You self declared/diagnosed that this surgery didn’t work for you. You believe that 2 months and 14 pounds later.

*The surgery is working, you’re just uncomfortable.

Someone mentioned therapy earlier to you and your response was something like: “That would be like spitting in the wind” (not verbatim)

Why are you spitting in the wind here?

There are a lot of people that had their surgeries canceled due to Covid, are heartbroken and would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

You gave up from the start. You don’t need permission or an excuse to fail at this, and you certainly won’t get it here.

Edited April 18, 2020 by Cheeseburgh

[summerset 5,265]

4 hours ago, IAmGrace said:

I posted just to let people know that I'm completely disheartened and am on the verge of not trying at all anymore.

Hmmmmmmm, fact is that you have no choice but continue trying because a large part of your stomach has been cut out. So the option of "not trying at all" is simply not available. Even if you should opt for eating only junk food from now on your portion sizes will still be limited for a whole while and will (usually) never go back to what they were even though you will be able to eat more during the next months to come.

I'm not really sure what's bothering you the most. Is it the fact that you feel like you can't eat your favorite foods? Or is it the small amount of food you can eat? Is it a felt mismatch between effort/discomfort and weight loss? Is it that you feel like this isn't working because you see so many other users lose way more weight in the same time with the same effort?

I personally think the time between significant weight loss that reassures you that maybe, maybe, maybe you can reach that goal of yours and still having major food inconveniences (so to say) is the worst. And what's making the worst even worse is: the comparing.

Comparing makes us doubt our own success a lot and this board makes it really, really easy to compare and feel like sh*t when you fall short of the amount of weight that has been lost or the BMI that has been reached. Unfortunately as much as the mantras "don't compare your journey to that of others" and "this is a marathon not a sprint" are being written down here: this does feel like being in a sprint/race and people compare like crazy.

Unfortunately comparing can't be shut off like a switch.

Edited April 18, 2020 by summerset

[Hop_Scotch 1,630]

4 hours ago, IAmGrace said:

You think I'm dwelling too much on scale weight. Let me know if you learn of another way to measure your weight loss.

Grace

Well there is a dexa scan which measures body fat, however, that wasn't my point. I was suggesting that you perhaps you need to take your mind of weight loss for a little while and focus on non scale measures of success. Focus on some positives for a while.

Edited April 18, 2020 by Hop_Scotch

[New&Improved 1,780]

Look at absolutely every little thing you put in your body.... Are you getting enough protein... Are you getting enough Water? How much carbs are you eating? Are you eating too little calories?

[Lily66 425]

11 hours ago, Cheeseburgh said:

This is surgery day through February

Cheeseburgh, THANK YOU So Much for posting your chart and sharing your journey! Congratulations on your STELLAR SUCCESS🏆, and the grit, determination and patience you gave in order to achieve what you have!

For those of us who are rather slow losers, you have given us a gift of inspiration to JUST DO IT, STAY POSITIVE, IN GRATITUDE and SUCCESS WILL FOLLOW!!! Thanks again, and keep on keepin’ on!

[JessLess 1,163]

12 hours ago, IAmGrace said:

I can easily lose 15 lbs on my own in a month and a half. I'm sure I have lost this on my own.

I never said I was unwilling to talk with a therapist although I do think it would be spitting in the wind. From what I see here the RNY is far more effective than the sleeve. I do wish I had input about that before I went under the knife.

Over an extended period of time, the difference in weight loss is about 5%. So I'm not sure what you're talking about except anecdotal information.

[GreenTealael 25,339]

13 hours ago, IAmGrace said:

**************************************************************************************************

You think I'm dwelling too much on scale weight. Let me know if you learn of another way to measure your weight loss.

Grace

Fat loss (DEXA SCAN)

Fat loss is the goal, not Water or muscle loss.

[lisafrommassachusetts 319]

Hey Grace! Sorry things are going so slowly for you! I have been a slow loser without the surgery, as well as pretty slow since; sounds like you were able to lose weight more rapidly before. I also feel like time is moving SOOOOO slowly during this pandemic that it makes it even worse!

I am sorry you feel so hungry. Have you tried eating your desired amount (say 2 oz. of Protein plus some veggies;) waiting 10 minutes and if you still feel hungry slowly eating some more protein? If you fee "sated" that may make you less hungry for longer. Might be worth a try.

For what it is worth, I am not filled up by the Protein Drinks, although i know some folks are. I also use a different kind of Protein Drink that does not use artificial sugars, so that may be why. As a result, I use the drink as an after dinner "snack"; if I feel particularly hungry I mix it with Fairlife milk (1/2 cup). Big protein hit, and stops me (usually) from other mindless snacking. Late night eating is my Achilles heel! My latest item I need to keep the heck out of my house is mixed nuts....I will try to "eat a handful" and before I know it I've blown 200 calories!

Hang in there Grace; I hope the scale starts to move, the weather gets better, the pandemic ends, and all of our spirits start to lift!

[Arabesque 7,240]

How much weight were you expecting to lose each week/month? Was it a realistic amount? Were you being influenced by the weight being lost by people who had a lot more to lose than you? For example the people on My 600lb Life who lose 20-30lbs a month. Remember their starting weight was three or more times your starting place. It takes a lot of calories to maintain a 600lb body. Of course decreasing their caloric intake to 1000/day is going to result in a lot of weight loss.

In general, the less you have to lose the less you will lose each week. If you are expecting to lose say 80lbs you can’t compare your weight loss progress with someone wanting to lose 160lbs.

Think of it as a percentage. Going from 200 to 120lbs is losing 40% of your body weight. Going from 400 to 120lbs is losing 70%. If you lose 1lb a week that’s 1.25% of the weight you want to lose. A person wanting to lose 280lbs, would have to lose about 3.5lbs/wk to be at the same rate. I’m not saying this is a constant percentage rate of loss for everyone, but just a way to look at your loss rate differently.

Some people with similar stats to you will lose at a faster rate simply because of their make-up: their metabolism, how much they exercise, their muscle mass, etc. Others will lose more slowly. You will have good weeks & slow loss weeks & stalls of no loss.

Most importantly the surgery isn’t magic. You won’t lose all the weight you want to lose in a couple of months. It’s hard work. You have to re examine your life & your habits (eating, exercising, cravings...) to understand what lead you to being overweight. You’ll have successes & failures, slips back to old habits (understandable you had them for years) but if you don’t make changes you can’t expect to the lose weight.

[IAmGrace 79]

I'm sorry that you've spent a lot of time typing your message. Thank you BUT everything you have to say here is obvious.

[Zoomzoom 45]

I'm sorry that you've spent a lot of time typing your message. Thank you BUT everything you have to say here is obvious.

I don't understand what you are looking for? So many people are trying to offer you support. But maybe you are looking for something else - you certainly don't seem to want words of encouragement. I'm sorry you are disappointed but don't lash out at those who are trying to help.

Sent from my SM-G975U using BariatricPal mobile app

[IAmGrace 79]

If I "lashed out". I sincerely apologize. I am a down to earth person who tells it like it is. I don't mean to hurt anyone. I took it that this forum is provided for us to tell the readers what we are going through, good or bad. I appreciate that people offer support and I certainly don't mean to lash out.

Grace

[Cheeseburgh 3,080]

On 4/18/2020 at 8:35 AM, Lily66 said:

Cheeseburgh, THANK YOU So Much for posting your chart and sharing your journey! Congratulations on your STELLAR SUCCESS🏆, and the grit, determination and patience you gave in order to achieve what you have!

For those of us who are rather slow losers, you have given us a gift of inspiration to JUST DO IT, STAY POSITIVE, IN GRATITUDE and SUCCESS WILL FOLLOW!!! Thanks again, and keep on keepin’ on!

You’re welcome. I was 100% convinced I was going to be one of those people that dropped weight quickly. 6 months post surgery I was at my wits end (February 2019), I think I lost 2 pounds that month and I was so frustrated. I joined a gym in March and it really helped me mentally and physically. I did have many pity parties along the way, mostly whining to my husband lol.

I refused to fail at this, it was harder than I thought it was going to be. In hindsight, I’m glad I lost it slowly. I don’t take one pound for granted. It also helped prepare me for my current life. I have to watch what I eat and chart everything because I gain very easily. I prefer this to being overweight.

Keep going, you won’t regret it.

[Lily66 425]

Once again, You summed it up well, Cheeseburgh, and I am TOTALLY COMMITTED, as you were/are! Failing at this is not an option for me and hasn’t crossed my mind. I have no timetable on this, understanding there will be stalls while my body adjusts inwardly, am doing my very best each day food/exercise, and it will happen. It IS happening and I am one grateful lady!

Continued best wishes to you, and especially for taking the time to help us!!💝