Spanking

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I think the problem here is those of you against spanking feel that because someone spanks they will or do abuse their child. It is well beyond ignorance.

It would be like saying everyone who drinks is an alcoholic and a drunk driver or someone who smokes cigarettes smokes pot as well. You equate something that is NOT ILLEGAL to something that is. Just because you disagree with it doesn't mean we are abusers. I feel that the line of thinking is absurd.

I do fully agree that their are people who do cross the line, but SERIOUSLY no law would stop them from doing so? Please get real. People who abuse their children do not stop and say in their head "Ooops there is a law, I am going to get in trouble."

Those who spank as a means of last resort are not abusers, no matter how you all try to focus your thought process that they are.

I agree it is ideal to never have to spank, but can not be achieved for everyone. AND if someone is a child abuser they are doing a hell of a lot more than spanking, but you all fail to see that.

Ignorance is bliss???

[brandyII 9]

Okay, we'll agree to disagree on the fact that spanking is abuse but there are those of us to choose other means of disciplining children over spanking.

We can use drunk driving as an example. We can also agree that driving under the influence is against the law in the US, whatever the blood alcohol level is over the amount that is permitted. In the US it may different state to state but there are also consistencies. I personally do not know how much is too much for me to drink. I've never been pulled over for a DWI and if I had been drinking would not know if one drink, two drinks, three drinks would send me over the permitted amount. So when I drive I choose not to drink as I would be avoiding breaking any laws or hurting anyone while driving under the influence.

Since I was a teenager the laws have become much stricter and I am more compliant when it comes to following those laws. It makes me think before I drive and drink.

Now there are those of us who would think before we drove and drank but there are always those of us who choose not to follow the law and will drink and drive and possibly hurt or kill someone.

I find it similar with spanking. Which I am singling out and this was a discussion on spanking, not any other form of abuse. That's a whole other topic which I think we can all agree those types of abuse are against the law and are wrong for many, many reasons.

If spanking were against the law in the US there would be those that would stop and not spank and use a different means. Possibly there would be an educational type program put in place to educate people on how to discipline their children when the need occurred.

An example would be drunk driving and prom night and how they educate the high school kids on not driving and drinking and also the D.A.R.E programs in the elementary schools. So they are reaching out and teaching our children at a young age not for fun but because it's a problem and it's needed.

There will always be people who drink and drive even if there is a law but there are those who it will reach and they will think about it as I myself have.

If I hadn't learned other methods other than spanking my children I probably would have spanked and not even thought twice about it. There are always those that take it too far but why not educate them now and hopefully they will relate the fact that what they do to their child now can have consequences down the line. Maybe they don't know enough when to stop or how hard to hit and they cross the line just like someone who drinks and drives may not know how much is too many and cross the line and drink too much. In each circumstance someone crosses the line and could possible injure or kill another person. Just something to think about.

I think children have the right not to be hit even if it is by a loving parent and I don't believe it makes my view to be a socialist view.

[coolrn2000 2]

I agree with booboo kitty, people who "abuse" their children are ignorant. Child abuse and spanking are two entirely different things.

The parents or caregivers who cross the line are not going to change with education. Taxpayers have forked over money for education on smoking, drinking, drunk driving, sex, teenage pregnancy and so on and so on. Has the education really changed anything ??

[Froggi 4]

I grew up in a horrible, abusive, alcoholic, drug infested household. I was beat, verbally abused, and worse. Much worse.

Even after all that if my child was throwing a hissy fit and the only way to stop them was to spank them. I would.

Spanking isn't abuse. It's simply a way to try to make the kid not do what they were doing. Slapping a kid on the bum is saying DON'T DO THAT, just like you do with a dog.

Abuse is abuse. Spanking is not.

Edited May 31, 2008 by froggi1985

[brandyII 9]

Still believe in education, maybe a bit idealistic in some people's views but I can dream:closedeyes: of a better kinder world:thumbup:

[Froggi 4]

We all wish the world was kinder, but most of the world could give two shits about kindness. It's all about hate these days it seems.

[brandyII 9]

froggi,

I'm sorry you grew up in such a shitty household no one deserves that. Mine wasn't perfect but yours made mine sound idealic! brandyII

[Froggi 4]

froggi,

I'm sorry you grew up in such a shitty household no one deserves that. Mine wasn't perfect but yours made mine sound idealic! brandyII

The only people that needed to be sorry were my dad.

Thanks though I appreciate it.

The shitty childhood sure makes you a lot stronger in the long run but I also have my times when I fall apart.

Life is hard sometimes.

I appreciate the kind words.

[Froggi 4]

Wow, bunches of emotion just pushed it's way out of my tear ducts. LOL whew.

[brandyII 9]

Froggie,

You're still young, and sometimes it takes time to get over stuff. My dad just died two years ago and when he died I took a sigh of relief although I loved him because he was my father he caused me many, many years of emotional grief that no one needs in their life. I went through a lot of therapy to help me get through it. I'm a sensitive person, as you can probably tell from my posts. Just remember to get help for yourself, you're worth it. It can be very difficult to get the bad messages out of your head that they've put in there, take care brandyII. One who grew up in an alcoholic household and still feels the aftershocks!

[Froggi 4]

Froggie,

You're still young, and sometimes it takes time to get over stuff. My dad just died two years ago and when he died I took a sigh of relief although I loved him because he was my father he caused me many, many years of emotional grief that no one needs in their life. I went through a lot of therapy to help me get through it. I'm a sensitive person, as you can probably tell from my posts. Just remember to get help for yourself, you're worth it. It can be very difficult to get the bad messages out of your head that they've put in there, take care brandyII. One who grew up in an alcoholic household and still feels the aftershocks!

Thanks brandy for the nice words. Everything just came up all at once like it did at my psych eval lol. I went to a lot of counseling for all of the stuff. And I'm on meds etc. It can still be really hard though. Thanks for caring.:smile:

[brandyII 9]

I know it's hard. I'm still on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and they help a lot. I wish I had been on them when I was your age I might have been better off. You deserve a big pat on the back for surviving a hellish life. I guess that's why I wanted to make sure my own kids didn't have to go through the same shit that I went through and why I sometimes can be a bit of a hard ass on people when they talk about kids and I'm there saying no to spanking etc... I didn't want my kids growing up in fear the way I did and still do suffer from. I maybe a bit over zealous too:ohmy:

I tend to be more compassionate towards people who grew up with similar chaotic backgrounds because I was taught not to discuss it and keep it in or the secrets etc... and now I can finally express myself and it helps to talk about it and get it out in the open and to advocate for others who suffer as I have or you have. So if you even need someone to talk to I'm here, take care brandyII.

[Froggi 4]

I know it's hard. I'm still on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and they help a lot. I wish I had been on them when I was your age I might have been better off. You deserve a big pat on the back for surviving a hellish life. I guess that's why I wanted to make sure my own kids didn't have to go through the same shit that I went through and why I sometimes can be a bit of a hard ass on people when they talk about kids and I'm there saying no to spanking etc... I didn't want my kids growing up in fear the way I did and still do suffer from. I maybe a bit over zealous too:ohmy:

I tend to be more compassionate towards people who grew up with similar chaotic backgrounds because I was taught not to discuss it and keep it in or the secrets etc... and now I can finally express myself and it helps to talk about it and get it out in the open and to advocate for others who suffer as I have or you have. So if you even need someone to talk to I'm here, take care brandyII.

Thanks so much. I was always scared to talk about it because I was told if I talked about it to anyway I would be killed. But that didn't happen and yeah I am still here. Still scary though. My dad is still alive somewhere around here and I have no idea where. Just afraid he might pop up someday. It's happened before in the past. But either way thank you for talking to me.

[brandyII 9]

No probs, you shouldn't have to live in fear, just make sure you have a good support system in place for yourself!!!

[Froggi 4]

I try not to live in fear. I do have huge trust issues though and my psych eval reminded me about that.