brandyII 9 Posted May 3, 2008 I'm the minority here but I do feel spanking is wrong and backward. I was spanked as a child and actually lived in a state that believed in corporal punishment, thank God for only six months, it was Kentucky! Anyway I remember some boys being punished in first grade and having their pants pulled down in front of the whole class and smacked with a paddle. Thank God we moved to Maryland where the nuns only verbally and emotionally abused you, lol. I don't believe in child abuse of any form and think spanking sends mixed messages to children. I believe people can be taught good parenting skills that don't involve spanking. I've never spanked my children and they've both grown up to be lovely young women who I'm very proud of. I'd hate to look back at our times together and during fits of anger had taken it out on them or punished them physically or emotionally, I'm a better person than that. And like I said I know I'm in the minority and don't believe anyone should hit their children or swat or whatever you want to call it. We have enough violence in our world why not keep our homes safe havens for our children!:party: brandyII Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jesusislove 26 Posted May 4, 2008 (edited) I'm the minority here but I do feel spanking is wrong and backward. I was spanked as a child and actually lived in a state that believed in corporal punishment, thank God for only six months, it was Kentucky! Anyway I remember some boys being punished in first grade and having their pants pulled down in front of the whole class and smacked with a paddle. Thank God we moved to Maryland where the nuns only verbally and emotionally abused you, lol. I don't believe in child abuse of any form and think spanking sends mixed messages to children. I believe people can be taught good parenting skills that don't involve spanking. I've never spanked my children and they've both grown up to be lovely young women who I'm very proud of. I'd hate to look back at our times together and during fits of anger had taken it out on them or punished them physically or emotionally, I'm a better person than that. And like I said I know I'm in the minority and don't believe anyone should hit their children or swat or whatever you want to call it. We have enough violence in our world why not keep our homes safe havens for our children! brandyII Hi, you have the right to believe in what you believe; however, every child is different. Your children did not need a spanking and was able to be raised sucessfully by you. There are other children who do need a spanking from time to time. I am a firm believer in that you must talk to your children overall, but if you have to spank them, you are not an abusive parent. Abuse is mis-use, with parents it is mis-use of your authority. I agree, as an advocate for children, no child should be abused, but I have seen the very best of children and the defiant of children. Some children only respond to a spanking, some you can just look at them and they straighten up. There are many people I know that have raised very sucessful children and they did spank them. Every child is different, that is my point concerning spanking. Edited May 4, 2008 by LLPlady3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brandyII 9 Posted May 4, 2008 I'm the minority here but I do feel spanking is wrong and backward. I was spanked as a child and actually lived in a state that believed in corporal punishment, thank God for only six months, it was Kentucky! Anyway I remember some boys being punished in first grade and having their pants pulled down in front of the whole class and smacked with a paddle. Thank God we moved to Maryland where the nuns only verbally and emotionally abused you, lol. I don't believe in child abuse of any form and think spanking sends mixed messages to children. I believe people can be taught good parenting skills that don't involve spanking. I've never spanked my children and they've both grown up to be lovely young women who I'm very proud of. I'd hate to look back at our times together and during fits of anger had taken it out on them or punished them physically or emotionally, I'm a better person than that. And like I said I know I'm in the minority and don't believe anyone should hit their children or swat or whatever you want to call it. We have enough violence in our world why not keep our homes safe havens for our children! brandyII Hi, you have the right to believe in what you believe; however, every child is different. Your children did not need a spanking and was able to be raised successfully by you. There are other children who do need a spanking from time to time. I am a firm believer in that you must talk to your children overall, but if I have to spank them, you are not an abusive parent. Abuse is mis-use, with parents it is mis-use of your authority. I agree, as an advocate for children, no child should be abused, but I have seen the very best of children and the defiant of children. Some children only respond to a spanking, some you can just look at them and they straighten up. There are many people I know that have raised very sucessful children and they did spank them. Every child is different, that is my point concerning spanking. Sorry, but it doesn't change my mind and I don't believe anyone should spank their children. I could have spanked my children, it's an easy way out. Who knows if they would have grown up differently if I had. Maybe for the worse. Maybe if I had sons and hit them they would hit their wives, is that right? Where do you draw the line and how many people step past that line? How do you know which children should be spanked? If you have five children do you spank them all or just certain ones? The whole thing baffles me and I still think it's barbaric, I don't hit my animals either. Sorry you can't change my mind and if I see someone hitting their child out in public or their animal I'm probably going to be one of those annoying people who will come up and say something or report them depending on the situation! Discipline can be used without physical force or emotional abuse, knowledge is a good thing:thumbup: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jesusislove 26 Posted May 4, 2008 (edited) Hi, I dare not change anyone's mind, that is not my intention or goal, I stated in the beginning, you have every right to believe what you believe. I do not have a controlling spirit, I know that some do try to change the way people think, but not I. To add, I do not live by hypothesis, I live by facts, and many people that I know have raised sucessful children and they spanked them. I have never lived by "what ifs". You can report them, but I have family members who work for CPS and what is child abuse varies from state to state. So even if you report someone, they may not answer everyone as child abuse, unless there are bruises, scars, broken bones or any signs so neglect. Edited May 4, 2008 by LLPlady3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brandyII 9 Posted May 4, 2008 trell, I don't expect you to try to change my mind, in fact I'd like you to think about spanking and what it actually is and why you feel the need to use it as opposed other means of disciplining your child. Keep an open mind not an open hand! brandyII Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jesusislove 26 Posted May 4, 2008 (edited) First of all , you do not know me. I am just answering a thread that I thought was interesting. Edited May 4, 2008 by LLPlady3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brandyII 9 Posted May 4, 2008 Trell, you're right and I bet you always are! Peace be with you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jesusislove 26 Posted May 4, 2008 (edited) Normally, I am not even up, but I have an online business and happen to stay up a little later. Totally, that is my motto I agree to disagree. Edited May 4, 2008 by LLPlady3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brandyII 9 Posted May 4, 2008 Chill, agree to disagree, brandyII Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
::tracy:: 0 Posted May 4, 2008 in New Zealand (where i live) it is illegal to spank your children. i believe it is wrong to take away the choices of parents. The anti-smacking law has divided the country. in my opinion ... spanking/smacking is not the same as beating/abusing. This law will not stop the abusers, it has the potential of making criminals out of decent people, because they use smacking as they feel necessary. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BJean 16 Posted May 5, 2008 I agree that an anti-smacking law may not stop the abusers (the ones who the law deems are abusers) but it might slow them down a little. At least they may not do it in public. And they may not leave bruises or break bones. We need to give kids relief from people whose lives are so stressed that they take it out on their children. If it takes a law that is so extreme that it is causing an entire country to be divided, you can bet that more parents will think twice before smacking or abusing their children. I've often wondered what parents who believe in smacking their children would do if the ability to hit their kids was taken away from them? What kind of discipline would they use? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
::tracy:: 0 Posted May 6, 2008 i agree with you fully. i am not a parent myself and i wonder what type of discipline i would use. i have plenty of friends that have children who are good parents but use smacking as and when required. i think there is a place for smacking, to me smacking is not about hurting your child physically ... it is about enforcing a message ... that a behaviour or action is not acceptable. Growing up i was very rarely smacked but when i was, i knew my mother meant business. It never did me any harm and if i had my own children i would do the same ... perhaps if this surgery works out for me, i will have my own. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gadgetlady 4 Posted May 6, 2008 I agree that an anti-smacking law may not stop the abusers (the ones who the law deems are abusers) but it might slow them down a little. At least they may not do it in public. And they may not leave bruises or break bones. We need to give kids relief from people whose lives are so stressed that they take it out on their children. If it takes a law that is so extreme that it is causing an entire country to be divided, you can bet that more parents will think twice before smacking or abusing their children. I've often wondered what parents who believe in smacking their children would do if the ability to hit their kids was taken away from them? What kind of discipline would they use? To that I say: if smacking is illegal, people will just go around the law and find a way to smack illegally. You can't stop people from smacking, so a law about it won't make any difference. Before smacking was legal, people went into back alleys to smack their kids. It didn't stop anyone from doing it, and making it illegal will only drive them underground. After all, if you outlaw smacking, only outlaws will smack. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BJean 16 Posted May 6, 2008 gadget that was humorous! I mean it. I'm glad to see you have a lighter side since we usually only link up in more serious areas. :biggrin2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearlygirl 1 Posted May 6, 2008 I go back and forth, I was spanked occassionally as a kid, not beat by any means. I do strongly feel that it should be a last resort AND that the parent should not be angry when they spank ie - send the kid to their room so you can both cool off and then spank them when you aren't angry. Sometimes I think spanking just makes the parent feel better as they are so frazzled and upset with their child, and then the guilt after they've done it. My daughter is only 18 months so there has been no need for spanking here yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites