Spanking

[green 6]

I personally think spanking is not the only option to discipline a child right. However I think parents should be able to spank them if they choose to.

For any people not sensetive to vulgor stuff south park has a nice episode on how to "train" your child. If you love the dog whisperer you will love this episode.

Please enter at your own risk:

Cartman vs. The Dog Whisperer - Clips - South Park Studios

I love South Park. Thanks for posting this. I have added it to my favourites list.

[BJean 16]

tapshoes! Great post! It brought back fond memories of when my kids said I gave them the "stink eye"!

Btw, I loved my tapshoes!

[tapshoes 2]

tapshoes! Great post! It brought back fond memories of when my kids said I gave them the "stink eye"!

Btw, I loved my tapshoes!

I guess that made you the 'stinker'!

[Jesusislove 26]

Abuse is mis-use. If you are mis-using your authority as a parent and spanking/beating your child because you are just angry or upset, then it is child abuse. However, if your child is undisciplined and you spank them when they are wrong, then it is considered discipline to me. I think spanking should not be the #1 form of discipline, you should also use other things such as taking away certain privileges, toys, and playtime. I practice all these things and they work. I spank only when it has went beyond the norm, I do not spank for every little thing my child does. If I did, I would be sore and exhausted. I also believe that spanking should only be given on the behind, no other parts. Use all forms of discipline and spanking will not become abuse. I had a situation where my child told me she pushed another child for talking about her brother, I do not like any type of violence, but that was not a time to spank her, but to talk to her, again!!! We must learn the times to spank, to listen, or to talk. That's my take.

[BJean 16]

I know too many people who never, ever hit their children and their children are better behaved than the ones whose parents think it's fine to spank them.

If all parents rationed spanks and only used them under very controlled conditions (their own control mostly) spanking would not generate the debate that it always does, like it has here. But a calm and controlled parent conducting a spanking is very often not the case.

We've all observed parents who lash out in anger or fear and grab a child up and whack them on the butt while they're screaming at them. Sure, it gets the kids attention and makes an impression - sometimes a long-lasting impression! But that's not the best way to actually teach a child. If you're wanting your child to learn about the dangers of running into the street or the unacceptibility of throwing a fit in a store, hitting them isn't the best teaching tool. It's simply the quickest way to shut them down.

And if you're hoping that your child grows up to have a kind and gentle soul, spanking them is not the way to encourage that. It is a way to teach them that hitting is acceptible.

[Jesusislove 26]

Hi, spanking does not make a child violent unless the parent spanks them vilolently. My children are not fighters at all, but they do love each other. I spank them sometimes, which is rare, I talk most of the time. I believe that talking helps most of the time. However, I will not codemn anyone who does spank their children more often than I do. There are kids who are not disciplined/spanked who are doing criminal things at very young ages. I work in the school system so I have seen it from both sides. When my child pushed another child it was because we had constantly talked to her about standing up for herself because she does not like fighting whether physically or verbally. However, I made sure I thoroughly explained to her that we do not push anyone, regardless of what they say; you can say don't talk about my brother, but that's it.

Edited April 21, 2008 by LLPlady3

[BJean 16]

I agree that children who are not disciplined are more apt to be dishonest than ones who have a lot of oversight and a healthy amount of discipline. But we were talking about spanking in particular as a means of disciplining, right?

Have you observed that children who are spanked seldom get into trouble? Or that they don't get into as much trouble as children who are disciplined in other ways? Or are you just addressing the issue of children who are never disciplined and how often they get into trouble? I'm wanting to understand your statement and your experience base.

[Pix 4]

There is a boy in my sons class. I know his parents, they discuss behavior problems with there son, and ask him how he can behave better. They never mention a punishment for hitting another child, or pushing another child, or biting, kicking, cussing. He has NO punishment for these behaviors. They just talk to him about it.

Now my son, he gets the occasional swat, he gets time out, he gets a talkin too. He is a good kid, hyper but good none the less. He rarely gets in trouble for behaving badly in school (mostly mr. ants in the pants likes to squirm around and get out of his seat).

It just goes to show, from one "extreme to another" that spanking when done properly with the right back up (IE talking to your kid, explaining why they are getting a spanking, then have them tell you why they are getting a spanking) does work. Plain talking doesn't (for some kids).

[BJean 16]

Ok thanks. Now I understand your earlier post.

[Jennie1976 1]

Pix...I absolutely agree. I have WAY too many kids in my classes who are just "talked to". So what? If I knew all I was going to get was a "talking to", I DEFINITELY would have pushed the limits more! And so would each of the kids in my class. Yes, there are a few (and I mean just a FEW) who are naturally good kids. They don't need to be spanked. They are going to be good kids, no matter who their parents are. However, the majority of rational, AVERAGE kids will not. I'm glad parents "talk to" their kids. It's a good tool. But if it is the only disciplinary tool, even if used in conjunction with loss of privileges, it is not the BEST tool.

People want to give adult emotions to kids. How does a kid show he/she is repentant? They cry. If an adult cries, he/she is immature. But it's natural for kids. It won't hurt them. But many adults are afraid of this for some reason.

How does an adult get reprimanded? Usually, at work, you are "written up". This works because there are consequences to it. Consequences that you, as an adult, understand. And the consequences are not just a week without something. The consequences can be long-standing...a loss of a good reputation, embarrassment, etc. Those are physical pains to us.

The loss of a toy to a kid has its place. But it is not the same as physical pain. And, in physical pain, I mean it is usually just the shock. I was spanked, but, looking back as an adult, I don't think I was ever actually spanked hard enough for pain! :-) Funny now, though!

Usually, by third grade, my kids are smart enough (regardless of how well they do in school) to tell the difference between a "talking to" (who cares!) and spanking (I'd better not do it again!). And, if done correctly, spanking doesn't even need to be done much beyond that!

The sad part is, ALL of the parents who "talk to" their kids, think they are doing a great job. EVERY single one I've ever met in my entire teaching career. And, MOST of them are NOT successful. Most. Not all. Like I said before, there are some kids who will be good kids no matter what. But most of these kids have so many more problems than they would have if they were disciplined with more authority at home rather than "talked to".

I know this will offend many people on here who, no doubt, believe they too are successful with "talking to" their kids (as their only discipline...including taking away privileges). And some may be. Not having met/taught your children, I am not judging you personally. I am only saying that, based on my experience, this is almost always not the case.

[candy8360 0]

Hey Jennie, I agree COMPLETELY!

[Jesusislove 26]

Hi, "spanking often" works for some children, not all. I am on the local school council as a parent in my school district. For example, my daughter was named student of the month because, #1 she loves God, #2 she is well behaved at school because she understands what is expected, not by just spanking, but by talking to her as well. She made honor roll last year and all this year. I can count the times I had to discuss her behavior at school. The pushing incident is totally not her character, if she had push someone more than once, I probably would have spanked her, but she told me, the teacher did not address it.

My son, on the other hand gets a few more swats than my daughter. With him I have to really use all strategies and he made the student of the week at the beginning of this year. I had to work with him and now he is okay, kindergarten. It is hard work as a mother, but someone has to do it. I think all things need to be applied to raise a well balanced child. What works for one does not always work for the other. I was rarely spanked (but I was spanked) as a child because I obeyed/respected my mother, on the other hand, my brothers used to get a lot of whoopings. Every child is different. That's my take. I volunteer in the schools and I am going to college now majoring in ECE because I love cihildren, but children do need discipline. My friend makes her children do push ups and sit ups when they are wrong, until they start crying, different form of discipline, but it works for her children. I come from a generation of teachers and I appreciate everything that they taught me.

Edited April 22, 2008 by LLPlady3

[BJean 16]

I didn't know anyone was claiming that talking to their children should be the sole means of discipline.

There are many, many forms of discipline that are effective that do not include hitting.

I come from a long line of educators as well, trell. They sure can be bossy people, ya know? :glare:

[Jesusislove 26]

Hi, what amazes me is that I sound so much like my Mom. I completely understand all the heated discussions from her. My mom was strict and I thank God for her. I honor her all the time, but Mother's Day I will get a chance to say thanks again in my own special way. .

[BJean 16]

My Mom died from breast cancer and it warms my heart to hear a daughter say she appreciates her mother like you do! You sound like a great daughter.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Mom and miss her wit and wisdom. When I went to my class reunion a few years ago, they surprised me by my high school class dedicating our reunion to her. So many of my classmates took the time to tell me how much she meant to them when they were in highschool. It was wonderful to hear their sweet, poignant stories about her for the first time.