Spanking

[yaya78006 1]

That is one thing that I wish I had never done is spank my children.

When my youngest turned 3 I stopped and just sent them to therir room and said, I will be up there in a minute to spank you.

Then I would wait about 10 mins.

They were so freaked out, there was no way I could spank them.

I said, I won't this time but if you ever do that again, I will.

That worked like a charm.

Some kids are spanked so much that they can do anything because they know they are going to get it anyway.

I don't believe in hard spanking maybe just a little swat with the hand on the behind.

They grow up so fast.

I remember my parents jumping up and spanking me and I was devastated then mom would come in and tell me it was because she loved me. What the heck!

I thought how could you love someone if you hit them.

I was young when I thought that.

[steph_co 9]

After seeing how it affected me and how it is affecting my step-kids from their step-dad, I will NEVER spank. I don't care what anybody says. There are other ways to punish.

Plain Talk About Spanking

Corporal punishment of children: Studies of its effectiveness and dangers

More studies on the safety and effectiveness of corporal punishment of children

Opposition to corporal punishment of children -- spanking

RELIGION AND CULTURE OF THE ROMA (ALSO KNOWN AS GYPSIES, ROM, RROMA, ROMANI)

I have a problem sometimes with my anger. Because I'm now an adult, I've learned to control it. But I went after my brother when we were home after school with various dangerous objects because I was so angry and the use of force had been taught to me. One of the step-kids in particular feels it is appropriate to use physical force when he is angry on his younger brother. When his mom and dad were still married, he did not get spankings and did not have such intense anger. I also full on believe that is a sexual/erogenous zone. That's not for adults to be touching.

[Chelle B 0]

Massachusetts could become the first state to make it illegal for parents to spank their children. Today, at the Massachusetts State House, the hearing for a bill to ban the practice was standing room only - From ABCNews.com

I personally think spanking is child abuse, but I have a friend who insists that it is the best way to discipline his son. When he was a child he was beat quite severly by his mother but still insists on using this method of discipline.

Spanking, or any hitting of a child, just teaches that the bigger person can dominate the smaller person. There are far more effective ways to discipline a child.

[Livingthe Dream 0]

I am a 35 year old father and take the same approach as my father. I waited for my kids to do something really bad (painted my car with spray paint) then I wore them out. They haven't been spanked since and it has been 5 years. Spank them once and then live off that memory for 15 years. I still threaten them with "you want another spanking like that one you had" and it seems to get there attention.

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

There are far more effective ways to discipline a child.

Depends on the child. But even if you disagree with the approach it shouldn't be ILLEGAL. I think that's the main point. Whether you think it's right or wrong is it right to legislate it? What is more damaging to a child? Being swatted on the behind or removed from their mother and father at a young age for a year or more while the parents pay fines and get to take "parenting classes".

I was spanked as a child and I vowed I would never do that to my children. At a family reunion my father joked to one of my kids, "be careful or you'll get a spanking" and all 3 of my kids in unison said, "what is a spanking?". I thought my father was going to stroke out LOL.

It's not the end of the world. Is it ideal? Not always. But there are about 20 other ideals that can be judged/weighed when it comes to parenting as well. No one is going to always do the right thing. It doesn't mean we don't love our children or that we deserve to have them taken away. There is true violence and neglect out there. There are babies and children dying in hot cars by the hundreds every year.

These nanny laws just seem to set case law for the next tier of losing our rights. It's practically illegal to smoke in Northern California right now. Not in businesses, around businesses, in parks, in your car if you have a minor, and now in apartment buildings--INSIDE your own apartment--your home. This is the kind of crap that ends up going down once these politicians get going.

Oh and I don't smoke either--but I don't think it should be illegal.

[tifferoni326 0]

These nanny laws just seem to set case law for the next tier of losing our rights. It's practically illegal to smoke in Northern California right now. Not in businesses, around businesses, in parks, in your car if you have a minor, and now in apartment buildings--INSIDE your own apartment--your home. This is the kind of crap that ends up going down once these politicians get going.

Oh and I don't smoke either--but I don't think it should be illegal.

I think thats the whole point...it shouldn't be illegal.. America has always prided itself on its freedoms...hm but now we cant spank..whats next..Can't have more than 2 kids because more than that takes too much attention from the other children..or No dating under a certain age...hmm maybe you can only marry twice, after that sorry..guess we should make it three strikes youre out..baseball and everythnig- Point is that the goverment has no right. Passing such a law would just open our doors to others...

Not to mention I can barely go to Walmart during regular operating hours and go at like 12 am to advoid the tons of children that need to be spanked as they run around the store like crack addicted monkeys. My sister one timed asked, where are these kids parents...I looked at her and said quite frankly.." If they were mine I sure as heck wouldn't claim them when they acted like this, would you?!" Now its the parents fault that they behave like that..but Im telling you some good disipline..including a spanking if needed.. would have these kids walking beside the cart...upright not draging thier knuckles!!

I don't think such a law could be passed in texas any time soon...too many angry rednecks!haha j/k sorry if that offends other Texans...I just joke about it, Texas is not full of rednecks..

[yaya78006 1]

You know it all depends on the child too.

Some of the kids that may have chemical imbalance are going to get into trouble no matter if you dicipline them any way or not.

My kids just happen to not ever do anything awfully bad.

They did remember the spankings that I gave them when they were little very little light spanking with hand.

Never use a belt.

I worked for Family Outreach which is child abuse prevention and they do not ever recommend using anything but a hand if you feel like you just have to spank.

These days I see parents not diciplining their children at all and those kids are headed for a miserable adulthood.

I have a nephew (23 yr old) who throws temper tantrums and still knocks holes in the wall with fist and foot.

Cusses mom out and walks past dad and smacks him open handed.

I'm sorry, but that kid needs his ass kicked!

His parents just walk around on egg shells and pay for his apt to keep him away from home.

I just hope some day that he doesn't snap and kill them.

They made him what he is from no dicipline at all.

[bandster_1007 1]

my son is 6, and luckily he is a very trusting child. he doesn't need to learn by experiencing, or even visually, he is an audio learner for the most part. so if i say, "do not play in the kitchen, you can get burned", he won't play in the kitchen. when he was a toddler and even younger i made it a habit not to tell him "no" just because i was too lazy to deal with him. if he wanted to touch one of the breakable figures on the shelf, i would take it down and show it to him, and then put it back up. so i wasn't one of those parents who said "no" constantly. i wanted him to understand that "no" was usually said for his safety, not for my sanity.

now things are different. i say "no" a lot, and i need to work on that. however, my 6 year old may only get a spanking once a year, sometimes not even that often. every once in a while he does something that we ABSOLUTELY NEVER WANT HIM TO DO AGAIN, and we exhaust every other punishment first, then he gets spanked and it works.

lately he has been being a very argumentative, ungrateful six year old, and i'm contemplating on what punishment i'm going to use, considering that it is our own fault that he is acting the way that he is.

anyways, the best punishment that has ever worked for our son: he was 5, and he had a friend spending the night. well, he pushed him off of the trampoline (the other boy called him a name or something). of course, we wanted to spank him, but we didn't because we were so angry with him. this came as a HUGE shock to us, becuase he had not ever been a child to act out of anger. so, he was grounded from his room. we cleaned the office of anything that he might want to look at and left only bare walls and a sofa bed. every day after school he would go to the room and wait until dinner, then he would go back. this lasted for a week. he was so bored in there that he honestly peeled some paint off of the wall (we thought it was funny, so he didn't get in trouble for that), needless to say, he remembers that very clearly and whenever he does something serious again, he will receive that punishment again.

however, if he lies, it is an automatic spanking and then he gets to choose his other punishment. i like to let him decide how he should be punished. sometimes, he wants a spanking (i don't like that), other times he is too hard on himself, but it teaches him.

[Kat817 19]

Mine received the occasional swat, and the threat of one in a public place was usually all it took to settle them down, as they knew I would do it.

THAT proved to be the best move....if you are not going to do it---don't threaten it. Be consistant! If something is not allowed on Monday, don't let them get by with it on Wednesday. That drives me nuts! I saw a lot---I owned and ran a day care for almost 20 years. The inconsistancy was the worst. One day Mom would pick one up, and be in a tizzy over somethng, and she would be ready to fly off the handle over them wanting to share their art from that day, and they would be threatening to spank them if they did not calm down. Then the very next day, Mom might not be so uptight, and she let the kid bounce off the wall with no admonishions of any kind. The kid never knew what to expect--and I am sure got swatted depending on the mood du jour!

If I told my kids I was going to put them in the corner for jumping on the couch, or slamming the door---I put them in the corner, everytime! They learned. Somethings got them swatted, on the butt, in a reasonable manner. I did not hit them because I was bigger and I could, it was mainly an attention getter! It was not often enough to be the "easy way out", when they got the pop on the butt, they hushed up and paid attention to the fact that I was serious. It worked!

Now many years later, I do not feel I would change how they were raised. I have a granddaughter who is being raised similarly, they get punishment depending on the offense. And simple on the butt spanks have figured into it. She behaves. I have a grandson, and my DIL does not discipline him in any way what so ever! He is a wild child. He goes to restaurants and screams and leaves a landfill on the floor for the waitress to clean. He comes to my house, and it looks like a tornado has hit, and I spend every second saying no or moving things. His visits are stressful! I love him---I also feel like my son and his wife are not doing my grandson any favors, he is not the boss, and should not be treated as such.

A simple look around today at how people behave---our young people in particular, and you can see how things change when no discipline is applied. They think they can do anything, anytime, anywhere! And do.

Learning that when you do something wrong there are consequences is a vital lesson for kids.

I am opposed to passing no spanking laws---I think it is ridiculous!

Kat

[green 6]

After seeing how it affected me and how it is affecting my step-kids from their step-dad, I will NEVER spank. I don't care what anybody says. There are other ways to punish.

Plain Talk About Spanking

Corporal punishment of children: Studies of its effectiveness and dangers

More studies on the safety and effectiveness of corporal punishment of children

Opposition to corporal punishment of children -- spanking

RELIGION AND CULTURE OF THE ROMA (ALSO KNOWN AS GYPSIES, ROM, RROMA, ROMANI)

I have a problem sometimes with my anger. Because I'm now an adult, I've learned to control it. But I went after my brother when we were home after school with various dangerous objects because I was so angry and the use of force had been taught to me. One of the step-kids in particular feels it is appropriate to use physical force when he is angry on his younger brother. When his mom and dad were still married, he did not get spankings and did not have such intense anger. I also full on believe that is a sexual/erogenous zone. That's not for adults to be touching.

I have just finished skimming through some of the above listed websites. They are very interesting and make compelling arguments against spanking as a method of discipline. Thanks for posting them, Steph.

[Titslereaux 1]

I think about how I'd feel as an adult being physically slapped or spanked by my boss or husband when I did something that pissed them off and realized it's nothing but humiliation, which never works when trying to teach someone a lesson. Kids feel humility the same way we do, so I vote no.

[kagoscuba 0]

As a victim of abuse, I have vowed enver to spank my children. The reason is I don't think I can accurately tell the line between discipline and abuse, in regards to physical discipline. However, I believe corporal punishment in schools should not only be allowed; it should be encouraged. I grew up part of my life in Texas, and I have seen and experienced first-hand how effective corporal punishment is. When it was used, another teacher had to be present and the parents had to be notified, thus greatly reducing the threat of an abusive teacher. The discipline problems were minimal there. I moved to a suburb of Atlanta (Marietta) in the middle of my 8th grade year. Corporal punishment was not allowed there, and the change in students' attitudes and behavior were shocking. They just didn't give a rat's a$$ what the teacher thought. The worst that could happen to them was on-campus isolation, suspension, or expulsion. None of those things mean much to a teenager. Now living in NJ and seeing how kids here act with no true discipline in schools, it is the same way as GA. Kids think they rule the world. Oh, and for those that say corporal punishment teaches the powerful can control the weak through force...well, yeah, what world are you living in where that doesn't happen anyway?

[bandster_1007 1]

my son attends a private christian school where corporate punishment is used (although i believe very rarely). the parents are not only notified, but they have to be there when the punishment happens. luckily, i have not experienced this yet. in that school any type of rebeliousness is considered to be a severe problem and the child can be expelled. the school is very big on respect and being considerate of one another. i used to think they were kind of dramatic, but in all actuality, i believe that is what is missing in a lot of kids today. you hardly ever hear kids say ma'am and sir. i used to not like the ma'am and sir because of the formality (at least in my own household), but i do now, and my son had better not be caught not saying ma'am or sir to another elder. he just might have to lick a bar of soap.

i do not think that "parenting" should be government monitored. i mean, to me that is almost as absurd as trying to make a law against sagging pants (that happened recently here). there are boundaries, and i seriously do not think a law like that would ever pass. i can see each side of the spanking debate. i do believe that it can be very demeaning and hinder the emotional development of your child. but i also believe there is a way to do punishment that is not emotionally scarring. negative reinforcement is proven to be more effective, but sometimes, with my son, it just does not work. we try positive reinforcement to deter the bad behavior before it begins, and that is pretty effective. but i'm going to be honest, sometimes my son gets in these moods, and a spanking will get him out of a 3 week long slump. no one says that when you spank your child your supposed to leave marks or even do it angry.

[babs0101 1]

Don't discipline your child...hmmmmmm, coming from a state that hails Ted Kennedy as one of its Senators. I guess it's ok to be a drunk and to kill someone as a result of drunk driving, but Lord forbid, dont swat your child.

Yea, makes a lot of sense.

:cry I have to agree with you 100%! :help::faint:

[gadgetlady 4]

We have corporal punishment in our school. Of course, we homeschool :bounce: