Spanking

[plump_princess 1]

It's not blasphemous, It's in the bible.... spare the rod, spoil the child.

Yet, It's also in the bible that you should instill morals and values in your child. And, It's also in the bible that we should be loving and kind and use good judgment

I think that MA should create a law against unfit parents. Discipline should be administered lovingly to children, because you care about them, and want them to see the wrong in what they've done, when other measures don't work. It's not a replacement for talking to your child, adjusting their reasoning via a sound discussion..... But to actually band spankings--isn't that a bit unreasonable?

We should ask these government officials what they would do to a one year old who just stuck his hand on a stove for the fourth time? Even if they haven't gotten burned because the stove wasn't on.... we, as parents, know this could be dangerous activity, eventually leading to some pretty bad outcomes. What should you do? Have a detailed discussion with the child on the implications of putting your hand on a stove/in fire?

If politicians could just use their common sense....

[pippinje 0]

It's not blasphemous, It's in the bible.... spare the rod, spoil the child.

Never said it was.

[Mrs Husker 3]

Just another shining example of our Nanny Government at work.

I have used my hand on both of my children’s butts or a swat on their hand when it was called for. Both of my children know that lying will get them a spanking. Tell me the truth and you will be punished for it, but lie, and you get both the punishment and the spanking.

The line between abuse and discipline is not that fine. When a parent uses a spanking as a disciplinary measure,

to teach the child that certain behavior will not be tolerated or that said behavior is dangerous to the child,

that is called parenting. When someone, either in frustration or just to be evil, beats a child and leaves bruises, or worse, permeant injury or death, that’s abuse. These people need to have their children taken away and NEVER given back. I don’t believe that you should use anything other then your hand on your child bottom or hand, no belts, spoons or 2 x 4's. A parent knows when to step away and cool off. Parenting is frustrating at times, but in the end, it is also very rewarding.

[Daisalana 33]

For me, the spanking was always about humility..

I was spanked a lot (I was a rebellious kid). It was never something I consider child abuse. But a swat on the behind (especially in public), was enough to emberass us or make us feel bad for upsetting them, and we stopped whatever it was. I plan to spank my kids. I don't plan to beat them with a belt or a wire hanger (my granny did that.. now THAT I thought was child abuse). She made us pick out our own switches off a bush in her backyard.

I've met kids whose parents didn't believe in spanking (an instance at the landromat sticks out).. and I think it's a terrible disservice to the children, who will be spoiled and not learn discipline.

[green 6]

It strikes me that spanking is different than beating. Giving a little kid an open-handed swat on the butt when all else fails to get the kid's attention is quite different from systematically beating him with some sort of tool or using one's fists. And swatting someone across the butt is entirely different from swatting him across the face. A law like this should be complete with definitions, I figure.

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

We had a similar law attempt to be passed in CA by a female politician who didn't even have children and people went crazy with anger.

With good reason.

There are ALREADY laws in place to protect children against excessive physical punishment. Yet every day children are beat, murdered and tortured at the hands of their own parents. There are not enough tax dollars and social workers to protect the most severe of cases.

The idea of wasting valuable resources going after good parents who believe in an occasional spanking or two is absolutely, mind numbingly illogical.

Physical contact is as valid a form of communication as verbal. When you have a young child who can't be reasoned with and is putting him or herself in harms way, sometimes a swat is the only way to communicate danger or a fear of repeating a behavior.

I have 3 children and I have never spanked them. My oldest is almost 10. I'm not a huge fan of the practice, but the idea of making it ILLEGAL is just absurd.

[babs0101 1]

My understanding is the law did not pass. This may have been another brain storm of our brainless Governor. He has come up with some strange crap in MHO since he took office. GOD help us!

[bandster_1007 1]

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Let me first start by saying there is a fine line between discipline and child abuse. However, a slight swat on the behind can instill fear in my 6 yr old.

Second, I find it HORRIBLE that any state would think that it is a political matter how a parent disciplines their child. I think this states politicians have nothing better to do.

Just my honest opinion though.

AMEN!! verbatim my thoughts. however, spanking, in my opinion, should never be first resort, it should never be done while angry, and it should always be explained and planned (not a parent just coming out of nowhere and smacking the child).

[bandster_1007 1]

hey....in defense of arkansas (we really need it), we are in the bible belt, there are definately some fanatics here.

...lol..but don't ever think that someone won't call dhs on your for spanking your child. where there is fanatic one way there is always a fanatic in another way.

[Marimaru 7]

I too think there is a huge difference between a spanking and beating your kid. My mom probably crossed the line a couple of times with us (spanking out of anger, or a little harder than she should have) but in the grand scheme of things, my sisters and I turned out fine.

I think that more energy needs to be spent on dealing with bad parents than enforcing laws that are going to be followed by already law-abiding citizens and ignore by already law-breaking citizens.

[NanaRenan 0]

I am a firm believer in spanking..

what people dont get is that its not nessarily the pain that works, its the acknowledgement that O crap I crossed the line! and the fear of the hand/paddle/belt.

Spanking is an effective tool if used with the proper respect. I had enough respect for my parents that when I crossed the line and got one, I knew I deserved it.

Exactly - sometimes the child is too young or the consequences too grave to mess around with....a spanking is in order. Such as yesterday when I got up to throw something away and my 19 mo. GrandBuddy bounded into my chair and was standing on the dining room table about to do a jig. I could take him down, and try a hundred different methods to teach him not to do it. But in the meantime, he could try it again, fall and be seriously hurt if not killed! So, until he's big enough to understand all the reasons he can't dance on the dining table -- the memory of the spanking he got will be sufficient deterrent to repeat behavior!

Are they stipulating no hand spanking or object spanking or what.. I used to get those stupid paddles with the ball attached to a string which broke after five minutes of frusterated swinging..then my mom had a new paddle to keep in the car.

Ack -- those are what my mother kept on top of the piano to make sure I got in my hour of practice every day and without slouching!! (Why do kids think poor posture and a miserable face will get them a reprieve from an unpleasant task?)

But I was spanked, and Im fine. I dont abuse animals, children or old people. I dont have an outrageous temper and dont resort to physical violence.

Thank you.....I can say the same for my kids.

27 years ago I wanted BADLY to be a breast-feeding consultant with La Leche League. I did all the work required for that honor, but when it came down to it, I could not sign an agreement promising to never, ever, under-any-circumstances, spank my children. I can see they looked at it as a whole-parenting approach, but I didn't agree, so I declined.

I think to spank or not to spank is a personal choice and unless advice or opinions are solicited, others -- especially the government -- should butt out.

My goodness -- think of how overworked Child Protective Services are already -- now you're going to have them spread even thinner policing GOOD, DECENT, HARD-WORKING, LOVING parents, just because they believe in old-fashioned corporal punishment??

[NanaRenan 0]

There are ALREADY laws in place to protect children against excessive physical punishment. Yet every day children are beat, murdered and tortured at the hands of their own parents. There are not enough tax dollars and social workers to protect the most severe of cases.

OOps -- I should have read all the posts before commenting! CW already stated it more clearly than I did.

And kudos to you for not needing to spank your kids. I have four and they were all different. What worked on one did not work on the other. Because spankings had always worked on ME, I learned quickly that I needed to have more than a hammer in my toolbox.....Cause some problems are nuts and bolts, some are screws, with a nail scattered in there every now and then.

It's funny -- every one of my kids (ages 27 to 18) have at least ONE spanking they remember in vivid technicolor with surround sound. :heh: I must've done something right, huh?

J/K

[tifferoni326 0]

this thread made me think of something, I once had someone threaten to call ASAP on my because I spanked my dog...haha I was soo mad I wonder if thier ears are still ringin from what I said.

The main goal of parenting is to do the best for your children, for some, that includes spanking, but if you can control your kids with a look, then there is no need to spank! My grandfather would just look at us, and all the grandchildren would freeze, until we figured out who he was looking at..never even had to raise a voice..Most parents arent like that and need to reinforce threats...otherwise there will be even more screaming brats running around Walmart and every other place...

as for my dog, I informed the man that I was a professional dog trainer and was well equiped to handle my animals in which ever way I chose, and that had I not spanked her, she would be receiving CPR at the moment..she picked up a plastic bag and was attempting to eat it (why I dunno) and refused to drop it on command..I wasn't that polite though. Why is it people always try to offer advice to people who dont look like they need it? Now, maybe if I had kicked the dog or even hit her..popping on the nose is a doggie spank..then I might be able to see thier side..meanwhile I felt like showing him what a beating was.!

[NanaRenan 0]

Why is it people always try to offer advice to people who dont look like they need it? Now, maybe if I had kicked the dog or even hit her..popping on the nose is a doggie spank..then I might be able to see thier side..meanwhile I felt like showing him what a beating was.!

And that reminds me of something -- see how much work we can BOTH avoid if we work together like this??

When my younger son was almost t 3 and my baby a newborn, we were in Target for something and I took time to take him to the toy dept. He found something at the end of an aisle that he really wanted me to come and look at. But there was a problem. There was a building support column in the center of the aisle that would not permit me to get to him with the baby in the cart. If I went around the aisle and met him on the other side, I would lose sight of him for a minute and he just might wig out and disappear in an attempt to find me.

Being barely verbal, he could not understand my attempts to get him to come TO me, so we could then go around the aisle together to look at what he'd found. He wasn't feeling very well and needed a nap, so it instantly dissolved into a screaming, temper-tantrum as I pondered what to do.

Inevitably he hit the floor, flat of his back, eyes closed and screaming. The instant he did, I dashed out my end of the aisle and began hoofing it to the other end while I could still locate him by his screaming. As I rounded the end cap I passed an elderly couple and heard the man say something, but it didn't register at first, as I was intent on reaching my son.

When things had quieted and we had 'oohed and aahed' over all the goodies he wanted me to see, I had time to consider what the man had said. I'm sure he wasn't being hateful, just helpful in that way that isn't welcomed....he had said, "If that'n was mine, I'd dust the seat of his britches and quieten him down."

The more I tho't about it, the angrier I got. I actively looked for him before checking out and leaving the store. If I had located him, I intended to go up to him and say, "I'm terribly sorry if my son's behavior offended you in some way, but if you had sat up with him all night, as I did, listening to him gasp for every breath (he had asthma) his screams would sound like music to your ears!"

At that moment, I was immediately convicted in my heart of every time I'd ever 'judged' a scene playing out between a parent and a child, because just like that old farmer -- I didn't know the whole story and it was frankly NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

[ParaGirl 71]

Don't discipline your child...hmmmmmm, coming from a state that hails Ted Kennedy as one of its Senators. I guess it's ok to be a drunk and to kill someone as a result of drunk driving, but Lord forbid, dont swat your child.

Yea, makes a lot of sense.