i'm so confused!

gemini68 · November 28, 2007

Im 25 and happy with how i look. I have been overweight my entire life. I am big, but i am sexy. I have had no trouble finding guys, and my current bf and i want to have a baby. I just had a miscarriage and went to the doctor today. He told me that i should look into some type of weight loss surgery. He said that i would die without it.

Im confused because i don't really think the surgery is for me. I have lost weight and eat well and exercise regularly. I want to lose the weight naturally, to be healthy. But he basically said that i need to have the surgery. I'm so depressed. I'm scared. He said that i can lose some weight on my own but that the surgery will get me down to a "healthy weight" which i can never "diet" to be.

I have heard that my whole life. This doctor has never said anything like this before, and having a baby is all i want. I just got this information today and i decided to look into weight loss surgery. The only thing i would even consider is lap band. But reading all these posts just makes me not want to do it even more.....

So what do i do?? I'm so upset...i just need guidance! PLEASE HELP!!

morningoasis811 · November 28, 2007

Hi gemini68

Can I ask what how tall you are and what you weigh? do you know your BMI?

I feel that I can relate to you, we're around the same age and one of my primary motivations to lose weight is so that i can get pregnant besides being healthy for myself and not yo-yo the rest of my life.

My top weight was 280 at age 23. I'm young, got the boys, I take good care of myself, dress well, educated, funny and so on. From age 23-25 I lost 90 pounds on my own. I maintained for a year and was a perfectly happy size 14 totally average. Then I had a string of very stressful events happen and from 26-27 I gained back nearly all of my weight.

Last May after making my way back up to 274 my Dr. suggested the Bypass. I'm married now, i'm done with school and have a good job, we're ready to start a family. But I have other health problems that already put me at a high risk pregnancy. So they advised that I be at least down to 180 before I try and get prego. I chose the band over the bypass for many reasons, even though the loss is slower.

I'm only a month out and I've lost about 18 pounds and I lost about 20 before surgery. So far, I feel it's totally worth it. Yes I can lose weight on my own, I know I can. But the band is a tool I carry with me all the time that helps tame my hunger and control my portions which is something I couldn't do for myself before. There are challenges and risks, but my Doctor and I discussed all my fears and concerns and after going to therapy and doing a TON of research, we decided the Band was for me. So here I am.

I look forward to reaching a healthy goal weight in 12-18 months before I try getting pregnant. I too want a baby SO bad, I'm at the right place in my life with everything except my weight. So I've dealt with that and have my husband for support and he's willing to wait with me while I get healthy to carry a new member of our family.

I'm not sure if any of this has helped you. But please let me know if you have any other questions or anything.

Good luck. Do tons of research before you make up your mind. Go through the motions and talk to a surgeon, you can always back out, they can't make you get the surgery. I promised my doctor I would at least go through the motions while I made my decision.

tifferoni326 · November 28, 2007

I think thats great that you are comfortable with your body.

On a second note, I think your doctor kinda sucks!-Im sure others will disagree with me.. Maybe you can find anotherdoctor willing tohelp put you on a regular diet and exercise program. Honestly, I doubt a surgery would work unless you really want it, bc to be honest, even restricted, I can eat a whole tub of ice cream if I want to, but I dont

Every doctor has the right to be concerned, but surgery is not the only option, I would go for a second opinion, or go back to the doc and explain that you are uncomfortable with surgery and want to do this a different way. No matter how big a person is, they can lose weightnaturally, it may take longer, but in the end if its what you want...

good luck in whatever you do

Chickie · November 28, 2007

Im 25 and happy with how i look. I have been overweight my entire life. I am big, but i am sexy. I have had no trouble finding guys, and my current bf and i want to have a baby. I just had a miscarriage and went to the doctor today. He told me that i should look into some type of weight loss surgery. He said that i would die without it.
Im confused because i don't really think the surgery is for me. I have lost weight and eat well and exercise regularly. I want to lose the weight naturally, to be healthy. But he basically said that i need to have the surgery. I'm so depressed. I'm scared. He said that i can lose some weight on my own but that the surgery will get me down to a "healthy weight" which i can never "diet" to be.

I have heard that my whole life. This doctor has never said anything like this before, and having a baby is all i want. I just got this information today and i decided to look into weight loss surgery. The only thing i would even consider is lap band. But reading all these posts just makes me not want to do it even more.....

So what do i do?? I'm so upset...i just need guidance! PLEASE HELP!!

If you don't feel it's right for you at this point in your life, don't do it.

I knew about banding for years before I was ever ready to go ahead with it. You have to be in the right place in your life, at the right time...

Best of luck to you!

Sades · November 28, 2007

It's not an easy decision, no matter how old you are. I am happy with my band and my progress so far... only been 4 weeks for me. I dieted on and off all my life but never reaching my goal before going back the other way. I felt fine with my body, especially when I was at the lower end of my weight loss... had no problems meeting guys, making friends etc. What made me decide to go ahead with the surgery is my health... things started going wrong in the last 4-5 years, BP, diabetes & sleep apnea. I knew it was time to get serious about this.

The decision has to be yours, no matter what the doctor says. Do you have any health problems yet? If not, then if you think you can do it on your own, I certainly would continue to do so. Also remember that these boards are for people who need support, so you are always going to get people talking about the negative side effects... there are many of us out there who are breezing through it. Hope I haven't jinxed myself!! :eek: Good luck with your decision.

DonHoll1 · November 28, 2007

If you do not want the surgery i don`t know how well it would work for you. Has you weight become a health issue for you? Have you told your doctor how you feel? Maybe you should talk to him or to another doctor. Donna

rebellerina · November 29, 2007

Well gemini I had a similar expirience I went to my gyno and was having some problems concieving and all of a sudden out of know where my doc said you should get weight loss surgery done. At the time I was 27 and weighed 270 at 5"1" and this was in Jan of 2007. Well of course I went home and cried and cried in disbelief. I too thought I was okay with myself and weight I've been a relationship for 7 years with a supportive man but when I came home and told him what the doc said I couldn't believe what his reaction was, he told me that we should sit down and talk about this he explained to me that he loved me very much and that he wants to grow old with me (we have 7 yr old daughter together)and he doesnt see that happening if I stay at this weight, Oh my gosh I felt like him and the doc had ganged up on me needless to say I was so hurt by this I did'nt want to talk or even sit next to him for days, well some time passed and he again told me he just didn't want to think of being alone or raising or daughter alone. I didn't think at the time that this would be right for me I thoght that if I considered this I was a failure and that I was giving up on myself, well I got really depressed and gained 30 LBS.... and then I started to do some research about the band 2 months ago and decided this was right for me I changed my attitude and thought to myself why not get some help and one thing that really pushed me was that this long term weight loss and you maintain it and I want to live long for my daughter and I want to have more kids and the band allos you to.....sorry if I rambled on maybe this will help you .I 'm still waiting for my approval GOOD LUCK:biggrin1:

lorid · November 29, 2007

I am SO glad I had the surgery. Not a regret at all. In fact it has changed my life. But understand it is just a tool to help you lose weight. You will have to change your eating habits in order for it to be successful. The good news is that with the band it is easier to pass up food when you are not hungry since it makes you feel full sooner and with less food. The band does not have the major complications associated with the gastric bypass and if you do experience complications it can be taken out allowing the stomach to heal. You will want to go into the surgery knowing and expecting it to be permanent unless there are complications that your doctor believes warrant its removal. Ask lots of questions and read all you can before making your decision.