Messed up at New Years, paying the consequences

[cajunredpanda 95]

I’m three weeks out. I followed my plan to a T post op, excluding the turkey chili that I for some reason thought had no tomatoes (no tomatoes until March because acidic).

My family has done absolutely little to support me during the holidays. They forced me to sit down at watch them eat steaks on Christmas, they go to the movies and buy the largest popcorn and Coke combos, they’ve made three pans of brownies in four days... Meanwhile they move my food to the back of the fridge or throw it out of the pantry because “it takes up too much space.” I eat something on my plan and they accuse me of cheating. I didn’t expect a lot of support but it sucks so hard.

New Years Day they prepared the traditional New Years meal. I figured it was soft enough so I had a small amount of cabbage, black eyed peas (which I was unaware of my sister loading a lot of hot spices into until I ate one), sweet potato, and spiraled ham. I think it was less than 3 ounces in all on my plate; didn’t eat all of it.

First mistake- tried more than one new thing at once. That being said, my second mistake, the ham, was too thick despite me chewing and chewing. It went down, but it stayed there for hours. Also had mad gas pain (cabbage?). I’ve taken chewable Gas X but it’s not doing much.

I sipped in Water throughout the night and my stomach is so sore. I waited until 5 pm tonight and it took me almost 45 minutes to drink an 8 oz Protein Shake. Got nauseous afterward and had to take a nausea pill.

If it gets worse I’ll see a doctor or the ER but I feel so stupid. My mom kept telling me pre op that she had little faith I’ll follow the plan and instead go immediately back to my pre op portions, etc. In a way, I fulfilled her prophecy. I was doing so well, and I think I ruined it already.

[Nelly631 39]

No you didn't ruin anything you know u messed up a little but look at it more imof a learning experience thats all do not get down on yourself im going on my 6th week post op and i also tried our traditional New Year meal i had like a spoonful of everything and it went down smoothly except the collard greens i never swalled them i got tired of chewing and just spit it into my napkin but that flavor was everything lol ....but on NYE i tried a garlic knot smh it was down great but i felt full and miserable for hours but lucky i was at a outside celebration so i walked and walked it finally settled .....but to get u back on track id try a day of just Water and Protein Shakes (liquids) im not a doctor but i bet the pain u feeling is gas when i got gas that bad i just did shakes and water the whole next day and 1/2 and walked ...i kept moving and then when the gas started moving and coming out oh it was like instand relief of the soreness ....i wish u all the luck and great health in the new year u got this girl u can do it ....if ur family isn't supporting u turn to this forum we understand and no one here isn't going to let u give up either.....❤❤❤❤ see i took the time to reply to u and its my bday today 🎂

[JRT Mom 919]

I'm so sorry you are getting zero support from your family, and truthfully, it's more sabotage than lack of support. You are really going to have to decide whether or not you are going to let them sabotage you like this. I hope you can stand up to them, this is YOUR life and health!

Hopefully you will get over this unscathed and can use it as a valuable lesson. If you feel like you are in this alone come here often, you have lots of people here going through what you are and can help you through this!

[Flo-grown 194]

No you didn't ruin anything you know u messed up a little but look at it more imof a learning experience thats all do not get down on yourself im going on my 6th week post op and i also tried our traditional New Year meal i had like a spoonful of everything and it went down smoothly except the collard greens i never swalled them i got tired of chewing and just spit it into my napkin but that flavor was everything lol ....but on NYE i tried a garlic knot smh it was down great but i felt full and miserable for hours but lucky i was at a outside celebration so i walked and walked it finally settled .....but to get u back on track id try a day of just Water and Protein Shakes (liquids) im not a doctor but i bet the pain u feeling is gas when i got gas that bad i just did shakes and water the whole next day and 1/2 and walked ...i kept moving and then when the gas started moving and coming out oh it was like instand relief of the soreness ....i wish u all the luck and great health in the new year u got this girl u can do it ....if ur family isn't supporting u turn to this forum we understand and no one here isn't going to let u give up either.....[emoji173][emoji173][emoji173][emoji173] see i took the time to reply to u and its my bday today [emoji512]

Great advice! Happy Birthday 🥳

5'4"
Starting weight 297
VSG on 7/31/19
Surgery wt: 266
CW 211
GW 135

Sent from my [samsung Galaxy] using BariatricPal mobile app

[Nelly631 39]

Im 5'2

Starting weight 395(omg)
VSG on 11/18/19
Surgery wt: 345
CW 318
GW 200

[Nelly631 39]

4 minutes ago, Flo-grown said:

Great advice! Happy Birthday 🥳

5'4"
Starting weight 297
VSG on 7/31/19
Surgery wt: 266
CW 211
GW 135

Sent from my [samsung Galaxy] using BariatricPal mobile app

Great job you got this !!!!

[Beaconkitty 23]

We are in a learning phase in the beginning, how to make good choices, what foods and how much are good. You can do this! Does your surgeon have a support group so you can get support from people other than your family?

[cajunredpanda 95]

@Nelly631 Happy birthday!

Thanks y’all. I’m trying to get back on track right now with the Protein Shakes.

My mom realized I ate ham last night and is furious at me. “That’s too tough to chew!” I know that now! I should’ve had deli ham at the most.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Gosh it sounds like they are just baiting you. Which is just crappy. Limit your exposure to them. And if it's your hubs and children doing it? It's OK to set boundaries of will and won't happen in your house. If need be, cut them off until you are stronger. And also, maybe look into counseling...((hugs))

[Fatboyslim1 204]

I know this might sound counterintuitive but the fact that the ham and Beans you ate felt like a lump sitting in your stomach for hours is EXACTALLY what is supposed to happen. The hot peppers aside, our new stomachs are designed to fill fast, and hang on for an extended period of time. Keep it up, but chew, chew chew and no Water with meals.

as for the family issue, I read recently than 1 in 4 successful Bariatric patients leave their environment. You can always hope

[cajunredpanda 95]

10 hours ago, Beaconkitty said:

We are in a learning phase in the beginning, how to make good choices, what foods and how much are good. You can do this! Does your surgeon have a support group so you can get support from people other than your family?

There is a support group, but it's all over the metro area and rarely near my house (I can't drive, and I'm already crapping myself at the idea of paying $50 I don't have in Uber just to get to appointments that I can't reschedule). They also tend to focus on just one topic during the meeting. There's a Facebook group but it's pretty mediocre.

9 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Gosh it sounds like they are just baiting you. Which is just crappy. Limit your exposure to them. And if it's your hubs and children doing it? It's OK to set boundaries of will and won't happen in your house. If need be, cut them off until you are stronger. And also, maybe look into counseling...((hugs))

I'm disabled and live with my family. My girlfriend is supportive, but she lives overseas. I lack a real life social network. My sister makes my life miserable in general when she's home and is the worst offender. She told me I was being immature for snapping when I found out what she did to my Protein Powder. That is my main food source atm! I'm struggling with my Protein and calorie intake as it is. She also moved my body wash from the caddy to the shower floor when I wasn't allowed to bend, so that's nice. /s

8 hours ago, Fatboyslim1 said:

I know this might sound counterintuitive but the fact that the ham and Beans you ate felt like a lump sitting in your stomach for hours is EXACTALLY what is supposed to happen. The hot peppers aside, our new stomachs are designed to fill fast, and hang on for an extended period of time. Keep it up, but chew, chew chew and no Water with meals.

as for the family issue, I read recently than 1 in 4 successful Bariatric patients leave their environment. You can always hope 

I had tuna lay like a brick for hours, but this was the first time it was actually painful versus uncomfortable. Also lasted far longer. I waited the prerequisite 30 minutes after eating to drink and that was the first time that Water hurt after surgery. It still hurts a little, but not as bad as yesterday. That's what spooked me.

Leaving isn't an option.

[Brent701 438]

This is awful to read. I agree they are not just being unsupportive they are trying to sabatage. I prepared mentally for much worse than what I ever experienced. I never did have that "what have I done moment". I feel blessed for that. On the plus side you are 3 weeks out and everything is downhill from here. Without prying too much is your disability weight related? Just seeing the health benefits in the coming month your entire outlook on life is going to improve.

[Maidenhail 16]

Hi

Don’t beat yourself up!

We have all ‘messed up’ a bit - I know I have (tried chicken nuggets week 8 and puked foam for 3 hours!)

Keeping to plan is hard- even with family support- my husband struggles to give me small servings when he dishes up so now I just serve myself- it’s finding things that work.

I do ask when I need support- over the holidays I did have to ask for a junk food free day for the family- I didn’t want to be looking/ thinking about it.
Good luck proving your family wrong- you’ve done the hard bit- the surgery- now enjoy the weight loss bit! Xx

Edited January 7, 2020 by Maidenhail