Nervous and unsure about surgery

[erin1280 6]

Good morning All,

My recent physical showed I have a BMI of 47.4. I'm 39, weigh 285 lbs and about 5'6". My Dr. has recommended, and made an appointment, for a consultation with a weight loss surgery center.

At this point, I do not even know if surgery will be suggested or just put on a way strict diet. I do have pre-hypertension and am on BP medicine. So I think, based on my research, I should qualify. However, I am quite scared. I know 1 person who had the sleeve done and he highly recommended it. But, my best friend is an ER Nurse and she is telling me to avoid it due to complications she has seen with ER patients.

I have read about how so many of you only regret not doing it sooner, which makes me a little more optimistic. I would love to from some of you who were in the very early stages, what concerns and hesitations you had and how you ultimately decided to go with the surgery. Please share anything you think would better prepare me for the consultation too.

Thank you!!!

P.S. I love how supportive everyone seems here as I have been reading many entries and comments

[AJ Tylo 1,399]

Ok Lets keep this Simple - THIS IS YOUR DECISION AND ONLY YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT

So you may be different then most of us in the Fat Kid club here and you may be able to lose the weight all by yourself. If that is the case you are the exception to the rule. There are risks to the surgery and there are risks to a ton of stuff

Here is how i made the decision

1. I need to live to take care of my two kids - I am obese and have a eating disorder, Did not get the ticket to the fat guy ball cuz i ate healthy and in moderation. Top that off with a Stint and some heart issues and the decision was made - Sleeve me Doc and it was done on 6/18. Better to do this then be dead in a few years

This was the best decision i have ever made, Down a ton of weight and feeling so much better and healthier - I have 9 pounds to go and should be done by end of year, This would have never happened in my case by any other way.

There is some drawbacks no doubt and there is a ton of head Fu#$in games but with any good things some things have to be bad

[erin1280 6]

4 minutes ago, AJ Tylo said:

Ok Lets keep this Simple - THIS IS YOUR DECISION AND ONLY YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT

So you may be different then most of us in the Fat Kid club here and you may be able to lose the weight all by yourself. If that is the case you are the exception to the rule. There are risks to the surgery and there are risks to a ton of stuff

Here is how i made the decision

1. I need to live to take care of my two kids - I am obese and have a eating disorder, Did not get the ticket to the fat guy ball cuz i ate healthy and in moderation. Top that off with a Stint and some heart issues and the decision was made - Sleeve me Doc and it was done on 6/18. Better to do this then be dead in a few years

This was the best decision i have ever made, Down a ton of weight and feeling so much better and healthier - I have 9 pounds to go and should be done by end of year, This would have never happened in my case by any other way.

There is some drawbacks no doubt and there is a ton of head Fu#$in games but with any good things some things have to be bad

[erin1280 6]

Thank you.

I also have 2 kids that I can't do much since I have no energy and lose my breath very easily. I keep thinking, I need to focus on me for once so I can be here for them.

I'm glad to see you are doing so well and wish you the best of luck on those last few pounds!!

Edited December 17, 2019 by erin1280

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

Keep in Mind, the ER Nurse is ONLY going to see those with issues. Those of us that have had absolutely no issues have not been to the ER.

[erin1280 6]

7 minutes ago, Jazzy1125 said:

Keep in Mind, the ER Nurse is ONLY going to see those with issues. Those of us that have had absolutely no issues have not been to the ER.

That was my first thought. And I know with ANY surgery there is always some type of risk. I don't think she told me to scare me, just to tell me what the surgeon might not. But it definitely did add to the back and forth I have been dealing with.

[AJ Tylo 1,399]

24 minutes ago, erin1280 said:

also have 2 kids that I can't do much since I have no energy and lose my breath very easily. I keep thinking, I need to focus on me for once so I can be here for them.

Decision made you said it above -

[catwoman7 11,213]

these surgeries are very safe and complications aren't all that common. When people do have them, they're usually minor. Working in ER, she just sees the people with problems. There are a ton of people out there who have never had issues.

with a BMI of 47, you will definitely qualify. If you're able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off, then great - but just know that only about 5% of obese people are able to do that. I tried and tried and tried my entire life, but the weight kept coming back. This was my only chance of losing it for good.

yes - there are risks, as there are with any surgery, but in my case, the risks of staying obese FAR outweighed the risks of surgery.

good luck with your decision! As so many others have said, my only regret is that I didn't do it years ago.

[Losingit2018 1,170]

It took me many years and many failed diets before I decided to do this. I was scared too but I was more scared of my morbid obesity causing an early death.

Ultimately the choice is yours. I think that you were referred for surgery because once we get to a certain weight it becomes next to impossible to get it off and keep it off.

Good luck with your decision.

[MourningTheLossOfBeer 42]

Im not even 4 weeks out, so my experience is limited compared to some others on here. First, i never thought of myself as a candidate for surgery. I guess i was in denial and always thought that i could just lose the weight if i "wanted to". We'll I've wanted to for the last 8 years, finally my wife convinced me that something had to change, add in the fact that i have a 4 year old and 1 year old. So if a little sacrifice now will keep me around for them longer, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes. My insurance company required 6 months of nutrition visits before paying for my surgery, so i had 6 months to get my act in gear and lose weight on my own, i didn't. Ultimately that was the final affirmation that i needed to know that i would be better off with the surgery. I can tell you in just 4 weeks, I'm sleeping better, feeling better, off all meds and have more energy and i still have another 70 lbs to lose. I can tell you that there were some concerns on my behalf about gas pains, stomach pains and recovery, i had none of that and I credit that to the surgeon and the care that i received. As for the actual surgery, do your research, find a reputable surgeon, make your decision and go for it.

[VIKING 0424 1,107]

well my life i have always been the big guy or the fat guy since 5th grade in 8th grade i weighed in at 225 football and wrestling i would bulk up for foot ball loose it for wrestling and life goes on at 45 i found myself at 360 lbs with high bp and sleep apnea never got the mask cause i was gonna loose weight so i would 20 lbs and gain 30 keeps going on and on in july of 18 my bp was 204/106 on meds Dr said you are gonna die if you keep it up and i am not giving you any more Vicodin for pain so you need to make some changes or die your choice and live with the pain of the weight (in my mind i said i will get another Dr f*** him ) so i was talking to my guardian angle (my mom) said i need to do this we had talked about it prior as i have been obese my whole life she said she want me to live and enjoy life and move forward so within 30 days i was in mexico getting surgery now i did my home work prior already and had been thinking of this for 5 years now the good = no meds at all bp is 136/65 no more pain in knees and ankles or back feel like a new person and sleep great every night

[JMA2019 43]

On 12/17/2019 at 9:10 AM, Jazzy1125 said:

Keep in Mind, the ER Nurse is ONLY going to see those with issues. Those of us that have had absolutely no issues have not been to the ER.

Yes! Agree with this 100%!

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

On 12/29/2019 at 2:00 AM, JMA2019 said:

Yes! Agree with this 100%!

The same goes for the Social Media Groups in Facebook. Many that have issues post, those that dont kinda just scroll on by.. Maybe i should make a group of Positive things only so those that need the encouragement can come see all the good stuff that happens all the time!

[Ady 0]

I would say it all depends on the surgeon you choose. After all, shedding some weight makes you active and the feeling of new you is different. I got some information to share, pm me if you need.

[momof3_angels 465]

Listen, vertical gastric sleeve is now a very safe procedure with a very low complication rate. If you select a good doctor, your risks for complications are fairly low. There ARE risks, but EVERY procedure has risks. Do your research, find a good doctor, and it is what you and your doctor decide is best for you... then don't let anyone talk you out of it! Your best friend... well, as an ER Nurse, she is seeing patients that have complications. She is not seeing the many many more who do NOT have complications. Her view will be slightly skewed as a result. And she is your friend... she is likely overprotective. My hubby and I are both nurses. He was against me having surgery out of fear of losing me. Nothing rational about it. I chose to have the surgery despite his feelings because I wanted to regain my health and my life. It has only been 4 1/2 months and I am fortunate to say I have surpassed my surgeons expectations with weight loss. The only "complications" I have had are very minor "side effects". First was dizziness due to dehydration. So I worked to improve my hydration. Now I have a different dizziness because I take a medication for my fast heart beat that happens to also be a blood pressure medication. So now my BP is low. The fix? I hold my medication and won't take it unless my BP is higher or my doctor tells me otherwise (waiting to see him). Even still... I am SO grateful I was able to get the surgery and I feel and look great! I also work with others who have had the surgery and they are all doing great as well. None of us regrets doing it. And BTW... a few weeks ago my husband admitted that he is glad I got the surgery afterall and he is so proud of how far I have come with regaining my health.

Feel free to use this group to get feedback from others as you need to... but again, your life, your health, your decision.