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[Machalo 283]

My question is how are your families reacting to your decision to have WLS? Mine is currently in the denial phase. Doesn't want me to have it, says I'm too old, too out of shape, etc. He's afraid I think of me croaking on the table. I've started pulling articles about how safe the surgery is now and that it can be done into someone's 70s now. My surgeon will only go up to age 60 and I'm 55. I've researched the surgeries for the last decade and gone back and forth and been anti'd more than once by other people. This time, I'm doing it for my own self health. I'm afraid to tell anyone else because of the anti-surgery messages I got the last time a few years ago when I started the process. That's when I found Bariatric Pal. What a great forum this is!

Anyway, I got sidetracked. Any advice in how to raise your family's support of your decision?

[JessLess 1,163]

My husband was against it, but afterward, when he realized I could still go out to restaurants and hang out with him and he didn't have to do a bunch of extra work except things like carrying heavy boxes and the laundry around, he came around. Now he cooks things to my criteria.

I was 48, FWTW

[Machalo 283]

Thanks Jess. I hope my husband will come around too. I'm sure he will with time, and he kind of has to since I'm having the surgery, right? Well, he's got at least through the end of January to adjust. Thanks for commenting!

[SorryNameTaken 85]

My mom is super supportive, she is all for it. My husband is supportive, but he would never consider it for himself, so sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't really like it. He's hoping this will help my fertility, so my getting surgery quite possibly will benefit him as well. The only thing I think I'll need to work on with him is having him not bring home so much junk food no matter how good his intentions are.

One of my clients from my side business has expressed her disappointment in my choice and wants me to consider trying Weight Watchers again. As much as I adore her, I just had to let that judgement pass.

Everyone else is kind of in the "If that's what you want to do" boat. We'll see if those people end up ghosting me or staying friends afterward.

My best advice is to just know why you're doing it and not feel like you have to answer to anyone else. I think it's nearly impossible to change the mind of anti-surgery people, the best way is to show them you made the right choice by living your happiest, healthiest life! You'll do great!

[Aodhanmom 20]

Yeah, I’m debating on whether to tell my in-laws or not because they are so judgmental about my weight, my job, my home...well pretty much everything.
My husband, my kids, my parents, & my coworkers support my WLS decision. So the in-laws can say what they will, it probably won’t be positive, but whatever... the surgery is for me not them.

[New&Improved 1,780]

You'll find with some people no matter what you do they'll never be happy...

[Kselby94 1]

My husband is supportive but doesn’t think I really need it, and the rest of my family thinks that I can just diet and exercise and that it isn’t worth it. But my mom Is my #1 MVP! She has been there every single step of the way!

[New&Improved 1,780]

I don't get the ignorance of people...

My mum said anything I can do to help myself have a better life. Live longer. Be healthy. She's all for it.

She knows I've struggled half my life with obesity and it's not been fun at all..

These technological advances are out there to better ourselves as a society so why not take advantage of the options of surgery?

Only good things can come from this!

[LastChance57 35]

You are really blessed!! I don’t understand why people aren’t supportive either. It definitely is not the easy way out of obesity.

[LastChance57 35]

I’m sorry- my above comment was in response to Mikeyy!

[LastChance57 35]

Hi Machalo, I just told my family that I was having it and I asked them for their prayers. I really didn’t care if they disagreed. I want a healthier and better quality of life for myself and I am responsible for me. If they are in denial, so be it. Your family will see the difference in you and that may make a positive difference in them. However, people are people and it is what you think of yourself that really counts-not their opinion.

When you go on and continue to reach the goals you have set for your life, regardless of the naysayers, you are going to be so proud of yourself and what you have accomplished. You will be a light to others! You are a light now! Don’t waste your time trying to please difficult non-supportive people. You have made a great choice for your life and it will get better!

[JessLess 1,163]

I told my somewhat judgmental mother about a year after I had it. She asked me why I didn't tell her before, and I told her I didn't want her to worry. She's my dad's FT caretaker and had gallbladder surgery a month before I had my sleeve.

I didn't want her opinion or judgment either, but I didn't mention that. 😎

[Machalo 283]

Thank you, everyone for your comments. I brought home some articles for my husband to read about age and WLS and he seemed at least open enough to read them, though he hasn't yet. I think ... well I don't actually know what he thinks ... my supposition is that he wanted to do it too, and now that I'm on the path, he may be feeling a bit jealous? Gosh. That felt good to say. I'm on the path to WLS! Hooray me!

Also, what one of our best friends told my hubby when we went to visit with them in August really rang true to me, so I had to do something about it. He told my husband that he was committing suicide by food and that he needed to make some changes or that is what was going to happen. This 80-something friend of ours tells it like it is, and we love him for it. He also mentioned my weight and asked if I was trying to catch up to my husband's weight. Only he could get away with saying that and not completely devastate me. But I took that comment to heart as well, and realized that only I could make the change for me and not for anyone else.

Anyway, preaching to the choir here. I hope you all have a great day today.

[momof3_angels 465]

My husband was as supportive as he could be while wishing I wasn't having surgery. He definitely expressed that I shouldn't do it. He was scared of complications and death. I had to appease him and prepare things for him in case I died (I do the banking and he doesn't know what I do lol) and sign a new will for him all while rolling my eyes. In the hospital he was attentive and helped me. Still scared of complications but relieved I survived. Now he is a little more supportive but won't stop buying **** I cant eat.

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[Lady VS 1,147]

Thank you, everyone for your comments. I brought home some articles for my husband to read about age and WLS and he seemed at least open enough to read them, though he hasn't yet. I think ... well I don't actually know what he thinks ... my supposition is that he wanted to do it too, and now that I'm on the path, he may be feeling a bit jealous? Gosh. That felt good to say. I'm on the path to WLS! Hooray me!
Also, what one of our best friends told my hubby when we went to visit with them in August really rang true to me, so I had to do something about it. He told my husband that he was committing suicide by food and that he needed to make some changes or that is what was going to happen. This 80-something friend of ours tells it like it is, and we love him for it. He also mentioned my weight and asked if I was trying to catch up to my husband's weight. Only he could get away with saying that and not completely devastate me. But I took that comment to heart as well, and realized that only I could make the change for me and not for anyone else.
Anyway, preaching to the choir here. I hope you all have a great day today.

I like your friend [emoji846]

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