Nervous Excited Anxious Happy Sad - Surgery in 9 hours...

[Mark1107 35]

Hey everyone,

I went to my PCP on 2/18/19. I weighed 298 lbs at 6 tall. I was huge. Depressed, sleep deprived, eating disordered etc. My Dr. recommended me to the options program at Kaiser. 12 weeks of weekly classes to see if I was ready for the surgery. During those 12 weeks I researched weight loss drugs, and went on Metformin every morning and Bupropion x2 a day. I immediately lost interest in food and over the 12 weeks lost 45 lbs. I'm not diabetic but very hypertensive and sleep apnea severe. They approved me with no out of pocket costs for the surgery tomorrow at 7 am PST.

The reason I'm doing the surgery is that I have a 3 year old daughter, and I want to be around for her. I'm late 40's and sick and tired of being sick and tired. My Dr. requires a liquid diet for 2 days before the surgery. I had five fast food dreams last night and dreams about chocolate candy bars and dreams about triscuits and cheese plates, etc. I cant believe I didn't struggle for 12 weeks of losing 45 lbs but 2 days of no solid food and its a huge struggle. Clear Liquid Protein, broth and lots of caffeine.

I got really irritable at dinner time tonight and was frustrated. Even after losing 45 lbs I still ate unhealthy and had trouble controlling my appetite and had serious unhealthy disordered food cravings etc.

The frustrating part was after losing 45lbs the teachers in my weight classes and my pcp and my specialists were all like why are you doing this? You are now on the border of obese and look really good. They all tried to talk me out of it!

My Bariatric surgeon was very supportive and immediately scheduled my surgery. I'm excited and nervous. The really hard part is that not eating solid food for the last 2 days has been difficult and made me want to regress and go back to junk food! I didnt and I'm ready for the surgery but I hope my taste buds change and I become much healthier and practice mindful present eating habits. I know the Metformin and Bupropion were temporary battles won but not the war - which is why I signed up and I'm ready for surgery.

I have my sugar free popsicles, and Premiere Protein clear gatorade looking bottles and my Vitamins and crystal light sugar free.

I'm ready to win the war and this is a battle I knowingly go into with open eyes and a clear heart. I hope the surgery really helps the anger and depression and manipulative hormones that emanate from my stomach when it doesnt get its fast food or junk food fix.

I want to enjoy not having an appetite and eating small healthy portions of healthy food.

I want to be the 190 lbs guy from my college days. I have broad shoulders and a football players body and played in college but really just get healthy again.

Two things I enjoy in moderation is 1 cup of coffee a day and once a month having a drink of alcohol or two socially. I hope I can regain both of those in the year after the surgery.

I don't care about the junk food, fast food, and sugary or fried food. I hope I don't ever want those again. (My stomach is talking now) literally 8 hours before the surgery!

Mark

PS I hope losing weight helps the sleep apnea and lessens it, since the cpap doesnt work very well. I also hope to stop the 4 blood pressure drugs I'm on as well.

[Losingit2018 1,170]

Hang in there, Mark. You got this. Life is getting ready to get so much better for you.

Please let us know how the surgery goes when you are able.

Good luck!

[New&Improved 1,780]

I hope it all works out for you but plz don't expect this surgery is going to fix everything you've been struggling with..

Any success comes down to mental determination

[Kris77 1,534]

Good luck today. Let us know how it goes! It’s been life changing for me, I hope for the same for you too!!

[jaytissle55 180]

Good Luck!!!!

[Lynda486 784]

See you on the other side!

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

Hope your surgery goes smoothly and that you have a speedy recovery! Your demons sound pretty familiar here on this site, we're your kindred spirits. Keep in touch and you'll find a lot of information and support. Good luck on your journey!

[GreenTealael 25,277]

Good Luck & Safe Surgery 💚

[Maidenhail 16]

Hope all is well - best of luck with your recovery!

[nenes78 528]

Congrats. I am an Options Alumni as well. Hang in there, follow the directions from the team and you'll be all good. As for the coffee you should be fine after you heal. I know people that drink more than a cup a day after surgery. Also with social drinking you should be fine. but one drink will take you a while. I'm almost 2 years out and can't even finish an average beer or margarita. YMMV.

[Mark1107 35]

Hey everyone. Thank you for the words of encouragement! Surgery went well. Hooked up to a morphine drip.

The Dr. Also fixed 3 hernias I had! I only knew of the small one in my belly button, not the other two.

Still in the hospital room overnight, SOP. They gave me an ounce of Jello and it completely filled me up.

Fast food on TV MADE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!

Nausea is so real right now.

The stichtes are glue closures.

Great insurance no money out of pocket.

2 hours before my surgery the first person of the day canceled since they ate before the surgery so my surgery was at 6am not8.

Fast food cravings are gone!

[Krimsonbutterflies 661]

45 minutes ago, Mark1107 said:

Hey everyone. Thank you for the words of encouragement! Surgery went well. Hooked up to a morphine drip.

The Dr. Also fixed 3 hernias I had! I only knew of the small one in my belly button, not the other two.

Still in the hospital room overnight, SOP. They gave me an ounce of Jello and it completely filled me up.

Fast food on TV MADE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!

Nausea is so real right now.

The stichtes are glue closures.

Great insurance no money out of pocket.

2 hours before my surgery the first person of the day canceled since they ate before the surgery so my surgery was at 6am not8.

Fast food cravings are gone!

Congratulations and thank you for being candid. I'm a Kaiser / Options patient as well with great insurance (no out of pocket fees). I'm so damn nervous about the surgery and I have to be honest with myself in hoping that I'm doing the right thing for me. I have been on this journey since last year, September 17th, 2018 and feel in my spirit this is right for me. The fear of the unknown is consuming me now, will I look right, I'm not mutilating myself and I don't want to create health issues that I don't have. Giving this to God ( my personal belief) and knowing that I have Bariatric Pal to help me, you and others. January is coming up soon, please keep us posted on your accomplishments and progress.

[Mark1107 35]

Thank you Krimson butterflies. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you,

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

7 hours ago, Mark1107 said:

Nausea is so real right now.

Ask for meds or a nausea patch. It will help a lot.

[VIKING 0424 1,107]

welcome to the other side the tool you have will make it a lot easier for sure the mental game is REAL! hope you are doing well and moving forward to your new adventure cheers