Changing beliefs to fit behaviors

[Jachut 487]

You see this a lot and I truly believe its part of a fat mentality. I believe there are some people who are always destined to become obese, due to their personalities. There are common threads that you can pick up on when you have been on a weight loss forum for a long time, and you can see that people have allowed their obesity to occur because of the way they view things, life and their own behaviour.

The VERY biggest event in anyone's weight loss journey, I believe, is the point where they truly realise that THEY are responsible for their own behaviour and that excuses cheat nobody but themselves.

You do see it happen, quite often, where people pass that point. Its possible to change yourself. In no way do I mean to be condescending or superior about that because I had it to, I believed obesity happened to me, now I know that I did it myself with laziness, lack of focus, refusal to face reality, justification for the self defeating behaviours, taking no responsibility and not being prepared to tackle what I knew lay ahead if I was to beat it. How a lapband helped that I dont know, but it does, perhaps limit what your body can tolerate and the head follows if you're lucky, but I remember quite clearly my moment (which happned before I was banded) when I just decided ENOUGH! Stop kidding yourself, grow up. Since banding I have also tackled and overcome other problems in my life, overspending (nothing serious but just not sticking to our budget, unfair to everyone in the family), laziness around the house, etc etc.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Great post, Jacqui, I agree with everything you have written.

Doesn't it really come down to when you want it bad enough, you'll get it?

[Chickie 15]

Doesn't it really come down to when you want it bad enough, you'll get it?

Pretty much. And you will do what is required of you to get it.

Great posts ladies and gents!

[kansas sooner 0]

Are you trying to tell me a band cannot exit via the vagina after eating steak 4 days post op?

Nawww, I just don't believe it!

You are the best! I want my 1 # prime rib... and i am 6months out and do miss the Quest for the BEST and Biggest Prime Rib but not enough for a slip, erosion... or to be on your d.a. list keep up the great job.. It is out there let the information fall where it is - accurate, specific. We are not this way because we have taken care of ourself. We have to learn how to do that again. Take care

[steph_co 9]

I saw the post you're referring to and I agree fully with what you have posted here. I think the post in question is one of the reasons my nutritionist looked terrified when I told her at my consult that I had been reading LBT. LOL I had to explain to her that I have common sense and don't blindly take advice from strangers on forums.

[DonHoll1 0]

I work really hard to make my band work and to follow my doctors instructions. I have changed my lifestyle and my eating habits and i value what the oldtimers have to say.However i do believe there is a nice way to say everything. I try to remember that people who are not following the band rules need support and advice more than anyone. I worry about them, that they may cause themselves medical problems. I sure do not want them to quit reading. They really need some direction. Donna

[steph_co 9]

Here's a post you guys can truly appreciate: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f99/beauty-only-skin-deep-45817/#post634297

I'm having a hard time not saying anything just because it's INSANE that a doctor would do that to somebody, but I am a newbie, so maybe I should shut my trap.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Here's a post you guys can truly appreciate: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f99/beauty-only-skin-deep-45817/#post634297

I'm having a hard time not saying anything just because it's INSANE that a doctor would do that to somebody, but I am a newbie, so maybe I should shut my trap.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I

am

positive

that

I

feel

my

head

POPPING!!

Oh please, let there be a misunderstanding somewhere.

[SherryW 4]

I've never through all my research and experience for myself and my friend, heard of no post-op diet. That's just nuts!

[Alexandra 55]

Here's a post you guys can truly appreciate: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f99/beauty-only-skin-deep-45817/#post634297

I

am

positive

that

I

feel

my

head

POPPING!!

You know what? It's clear that the doctor in question is in some other country. There is no reason to get high and mighty about operative procedures or doctors' postop instructions--let the patient read, learn, and ask questions of her doctor. The fact that the patient is here is a terrific thing and perhaps she will have more information because of it. But let's not jump all over her because her doctor is not up on what LBTers think is the optimum postop protocol.

Thanks.

[losingjusme 12]

You know what? It's clear that the doctor in question is in some other country. There is no reason to get high and mighty about operative procedures or doctors' postop instructions--let the patient read, learn, and ask questions of her doctor. The fact that the patient is here is a terrific thing and perhaps she will have more information because of it. But let's not jump all over her because her doctor is not up on what LBTers think is the optimum postop protocol.

Thanks.

i agree, its not her fault she was misinformed...

BUT, my concern here is we always say, "listen to your doctor" ... what happens when a doctor is clearly uninformed of the best post op procedures?

[kansas sooner 0]

i agree, its not her fault she was misinformed...

BUT, my concern here is we always say, "listen to your doctor" ... what happens when a doctor is clearly uninformed of the best post op procedures?

It is now when some go over the top to be "right" to "prove" others wrong, just to be right that newbies end up confused, afraid to ask the "stupid:" questions. And there they sit hurting alone and needing someone to help them process what is going on,. Then if they were so very unlucky to get one of the "bad docs" where do they go then. There should be a group of loving/caring and sharing going on here. It would seem that we are all on one type of journey or another just to get healthly, to fight the mental issues that we have allowed our weight to put us through for the last "XXX " years (insert your specific numbers) me it has been a lifelong security. If i was "fat, obese, MO," I didni't have to worry anylonger about being abused by my grandfather, my mothers boyfriends, or raped. You know that was a good thought, just made me less likely to fight back.

But God healed the issues filled the hurt/ pain, and allowed me to live again. Then he brought my DH to me that has loved me from a 22 to a 34 and now going back down to 26. I just don't see why that on the fourm where others are fighting to find themselves and a way to health that we cannot take the information given, give it in a postive way and enocurage each person to do the best they can.

If they are screwing up by eating "steak" on day 3 or 4 we need to tell them they are screwing up. it may not show right now, but... look at this "thread" and see what "sally" went through the pain and dissapointment. I have not been perfect by any means following the diet... LB way but i try my hardest. I have paid privately for this and that is not the issue. What is the issue is i am tired of not living. Not having a life and i want to live and would like to see this forum back to where it was when i started searching it for answers.

Back in april i was at the end of my rope, i didn't want to continue and it was there i met one of the know it alls and one of the long posts that they had put out made a connection with me. i saw myself in one of their er patients.

there is a place and time for each of our input and they are put out there for the benifit on maybe only 1 person. But if that 1 person is saved from suicide, a feeling of never getting it, then isn't that what this forum is for.

Each person should be able to reason if what is being said is a bunch of CRAP and can pm that person and tell them so. Be adults.... and be respectful. If we as adults would try to do this just think what the world could / would become.

I apologize for rambling. I just wanted you to know that while i have been recovering from Hospitlization and being BORED with my DH tv selections that you have been my sanity and i felt sad for us that we are so busy trying to tear each other down instead of supporting our community. Isn't the WORLD already busy tearing down, discriminating againinst the Fat, fluffy, obsese, MO people , why in my Great Saviors Name would we want to shoot our own wounded.

As my DH would say, step away from the soap box.

May God Bless you each and may this not of been ugly because this is not what was intended. thank you for listening/reading. now off for a try a partical day of work. I miss my senior population.

again sorry for the rambling. but why cannot this be a positive place for all to come. get information and make great informed decisions.:rain:

[Kat817 19]

You see this a lot and I truly believe its part of a fat mentality. I believe there are some people who are always destined to become obese, due to their personalities. There are common threads that you can pick up on when you have been on a weight loss forum for a long time, and you can see that people have allowed their obesity to occur because of the way they view things, life and their own behaviour.

The VERY biggest event in anyone's weight loss journey, I believe, is the point where they truly realise that THEY are responsible for their own behaviour and that excuses cheat nobody but themselves.

You do see it happen, quite often, where people pass that point. Its possible to change yourself. In no way do I mean to be condescending or superior about that because I had it to, I believed obesity happened to me, now I know that I did it myself with laziness, lack of focus, refusal to face reality, justification for the self defeating behaviours, taking no responsibility and not being prepared to tackle what I knew lay ahead if I was to beat it. How a lapband helped that I dont know, but it does, perhaps limit what your body can tolerate and the head follows if you're lucky, but I remember quite clearly my moment (which happned before I was banded) when I just decided ENOUGH! Stop kidding yourself, grow up. Since banding I have also tackled and overcome other problems in my life, overspending (nothing serious but just not sticking to our budget, unfair to everyone in the family), laziness around the house, etc etc.

I don't think I ever really doubted that I did this to myself--I mean, yes there were things and emotions that helped me along--but the fork did not jump into my mouth--I put it there.

Just yesterday I had to open my mouth and admit that to someone---and it was my choice to do so, but it felt liberating too.

I was in one of the big box stores doing some shopping and ran into an old boyfriends Mom. As we spoke she saw my new incision across my throat where I just had some thyroid surgery done. She ask what happen, I told her and she said well she understood now why I had gotten so big, and had now lost the weight. I stood there for a minute then finally told her that no I got fat because I ate too much and didn't get enough exercise, and that it had actually taken me a year and a half to lose the weight I had, and had only had the surgery last week. Can you imagine, surgery one week and 100+ pounds gone the next?!

She is not morbidly obese, but she is heavy, and she did not know what to say to me! I did feel liberated by actually saying it though.

I did it to myself, and finally found a way to help myself from doing it again.

As to the diet differences---I share the same Dr. with WaBB--and I worked HARD to abide by that diet. I know I went from Clear liquids to full liquids a day early---and worried about that! I do feel it is confusing to newbies as well as us not so newbies the differences among Dr.'s. I also wonder about the liabilities of US Dr.'s who run a different diet than the Inamed/Allergan recommendations.

It is the same with pre op---the differences I mean, I know my Dr. had one of the more lenient pre ops, and the strictest of post ops. But lucky for me an old LBT-er explained to me that if I would get a little stricter with my pre op and eliminate some of the things I would not be allowed post op, I would have less cravings for those things, and it seemed to work.

I bounce all over LBT, and try to help---just usually saying someone is listening and caring---I do not have the medical background to advise, so other than common sense and see your doc if it does not improve, I stick to the basics! My head tells me that with the medical training several of you have-that reading these things must make you crazy. Same as with mine, hearing an adult tell a child to quit acting stupid, or demeaning them in public sets my teeth on edge, and I battle with the impulse to intervene.

All of us new or not, need reminding of the fact that we must take care of our band for our band to take care of us.

I feel like my Dr. was informative about why I should not eat solids for a period of time, but in reality it was HERE, at LBT that it was put into ways that made perfect sense to me! I think I will just choose a different way to rebel!!

Kat

[Gummiebear 0]

I can believe some doctor or assistant told them they could eat whatever because thats what happened to me. Also my doctor didnt wait 6 weeks to fill me I was filled in less than 4 weeks. Anyway I hope when something like this happens to someone they can get good advice from the Lap-Band site and learn what most people are told to do. Then use some common sence and think (Hey this doesnt sound right) and ask questions. Hopefully some old timers will respond and tell them whats what.

BTW at my doctors office they did a gastric bypass on someone I know. (I didnt know she was going there) Anyway they let her fall off the table during surgery. She also had a stroke and was not informed about it until much later. And she went into a coma after surgery. Then she started to bleed internally and her stomach closed off. She couldnt swallow her own spit. She had another surgery somewhere else to repair the damage. Shes doing ok now but shes suing my doctors office. There was alot more that happened but her medical bills were over a million dollars. Makes u wonder about some of the docs out there. How do u NOT tell a patient they had a stroke during surgery I dont get that and why would she fall off the table /boggles.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

You know what? It's clear that the doctor in question is in some other country. There is no reason to get high and mighty about operative procedures or doctors' postop instructions--let the patient read, learn, and ask questions of her doctor. The fact that the patient is here is a terrific thing and perhaps she will have more information because of it. But let's not jump all over her because her doctor is not up on what LBTers think is the optimum postop protocol.

Thanks.

I don't think anyone is getting all high and mighty by any stretch.

Personally I didn't even respond to the post. My thinking is that if that is what her doc wants to do, she should follow her doc's advice. That doesn't mean it doesn't worry me regarding what she will endure when she attempts to eat with a swollen stoma and what will happen to her pouch long term. It concerns me a great deal. But if that is what her doc wants her to do, so be it.

I haven't been back to that thread since I originally read it so maybe someone else has posted otherwise but the only thing old timers have been suggesting is that people refrain from telling newbies it's just peachy to ignore their docs instructions and you know what? I think that is something most of us will stand behind.

And Alexandra, it's not a matter of what LBT folks think is standard, what about Inamed? What about the other band manufacturers? They are the ones that came up with these post op instructions due to years of research, trial, and error. I don't believe you are suggesting that everyone disregard what the band manufacturers have to say, are you? If that makes us high and mighty I'll risk falling off my horse.

With all due respect that was an unfair post. Quoting me and chastising us about what is posted, I didn't even respond.