Changing beliefs to fit behaviors

Done · January 15, 2008

"When I saw that thread I had to restrain myself from suggesting all dumb asses eat taffy and steak right after surgery. I actually had to restrain myself from writing that. I'm to the point that I don't care, they can eat what they want. It's their band, their stupidity, their everything. I'm not talking someone who learns from their mistake but instead someone who changes their beliefs to fit their behaviors. Big, huge, mega difference. I am not talking someone who doesn't understand the reasoning behind the diet, I'm talking someone who knows full well why the diet is important, WHAT is healing (and it's not stomach swelling), someone who knows they are doing something wrong and instead of bloody well taking responsibility for their own actions they justify it by changing their beliefs to fit their behaviors and telling newbies that the old timers are wrong."

I felt the exact same feelings pre-op, then for about five days post-op where I could only get down clear fluids...but then I got off my high horse and started being more supportive to others.

It is quite offensive to state that a person who is tackling compulsive/binge eating is a dumb ass or it is due to their stupidity. Obesity / morbid obesity is a complex issue, and to a lot of people it takes a great deal of time, and fills, to finally be able to get a grip and become successful at their weight loss.

Making a statement like that is extremely discriminatory and does nothing but make the person that is having these difficulties feel extreme guilt over their actions...which causes them to eat more...which then makes them feel more guilty and depressed...the vicious cycle continues on and on.

They go through the exact same negative feelings before surgery. Dealing with people that assume because they are obese that they lack willpower, they are stupid, etc. etc. does nothing but put them back into that depressed state.

I would dare to say that the vast majority of people who are banded do have periods where they succumb to their overwhelming urges to overeat; however I believe that if they have a supportive group of friends they will be able to finally achieve success.

WASaBubbleButt · January 15, 2008

Bert...

Nahhh... we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

If we really want to overcome our issues a bit of honesty is in order. As I explained carefully previously, there is a difference between saying, "I know my doctor wants me to do "X" and I am well aware that if I don't follow "X" I may pay for it later with a slip." Vs.... "I know more than my MD, I know my body, I know far more about medicine that he does and he is simply wrong."

One is honesty, the other is changing beliefs to fit a behavior.

Losing weight and getting to goal does require honesty with self. If we don't face our issues, it ain't gonna happen.

I don't buy into the kind of support where I pat heads of people doing things that could harm their weight loss and harm them period. Sometimes support means a bit of reality. People who make "nice nice" talk and support bad choices are not supportive. They are usually justifying their own behaviors as well. I'm quite sure they mean well, but it doesn't mean they are supportive.

jrob281 · February 4, 2008

I'm a newbie who's not yet banded and in reference to your original post here, I'd more than welcome what you have to say because you've been there, done that. I value the opinions of those who've been through it. I'm hoping I won't need a kick in the ass after I have my surgery, but if I do, I welcome you to kick my ass! lol