Talking about the surgery with people

[JSSteinman 8]

Hi everyone, I’m about 5 months pre op. I’m wondering what you tell people when they ask you how you lost weight so quickly and you don’t want to tell them you got surgery? Do you provide a vague answer like “I made some lifestyle changes” etc? I have told a select few people about the surgery but I don’t really want to tell people I’m not close to. As much as I’d like to be confident and not care what people think, I don’t think I could deal with the judgement. I can’t even handle the judgement now of my diet and exercise choices.

[catwoman7 11,216]

I tend to be honest with other obese people. As far as normal weight or skinny people, unless I'm pretty close to them (in which case, they knew about the surgery from the get-go), I just give them the lifestyle answer ("I'm on a low carb diet, exercise a lot, and am working with a dietitian"). All true - I just omit the surgery part.

[MeepMeep 96]

I agree with catwoman7. I feel no obligation to explain myself, but if pushed will just say I’m eating better and exercising.

[AZhiker 2,252]

I told NO ONE except my husband, brother, and my kids. My parents, friends and co-workers do not know I had surgery. When asked, I have two responses:

1) "Over 90% of people who lose weight gain it all back. Please ask me in a year and if I am successful in this process, I will share with you then."

2) "I am working very hard to lose and maintain permanent weight loss. You are welcome to do what I am doing: NO wheat, no sugar, no alcohol, no soda, no juice, no caffeine (by this time I have already lost them), no processed food, no refined grains, no artificial sweeteners/colors/flavors, low carb, high Protein, lots of veggies, intermittent fasting, and a 1-2 hours of exercise a day."

I would consider a heart-to-heart with an obese person who seems to be at rock bottom and willing to do whatever it takes. BUT... interestingly, no morbidly obese people have asked - only overweight people who need to lose 20 or 30 pounds. Surgery is not for them, but healthy lifestyle is what they need to focus on, so that is what I share. Some have appeared genuinely interested, but a couple of days later I see them eating cupcakes and junk, so it seems there are more curiosity seekers than those who are really ready to make changes.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

I decided pre-surgery that I did not have to be the poster child for bariatric surgery awareness. So it's Noneya. As in Noneyabeezewax. LOL.

I just smile and say, "Yep, I'm working my ass off literally and figuratively. Who knew that diet and exercise really work?!

[S@ssen@ch 745]

Same as FluffyChix here.

I only told a few people about my surgery. My husband and a select few friends. Not even my family or my children. When co-workers started asking, I told them that I'm eating better and exercising. Most of the time they could see that and asked no more questions. Besides, it's the truth.

I've kind of relaxed on that privacy thing. I told my adult children and others as the circumstances warrant. Mostly because they see me eat such small portions and it's a significant change from my usual, they think I'm sick. I still haven't told my immediate family and don't plan to (judgmental).

[GirthyGirl 79]

I am honest with people who ask and honest with people who don't ask. lol I am not embarrassed or ashamed that WLS was the final route I chose. Anyone who is judgemental can F right off. Luckily I really haven't had anyone be anything other than supportive.

[april042019 105]

I've only told a few close friends and my mom. My mom however, told her whole side of the family after I asked or not to. I wish I could've kept it from her from the beginning but we live together so it was pretty impossible. She told my (very critical and straight up horrible) aunt. I've been avoiding her at all costs ever since LOL. I just don't want to hear what she has to say. It bothers me enough that she even has the satisfaction of knowing.

As to other people, I agree with catwoman7. I tell them everything I'm doing (low carb, high Protein, low sugar, low calorie) without telling them about the surgery part. I already know that they don't need the surgery and won't do it so they don't really need to know.

Like AZhiker said, if someone obese that I felt were really at rock bottom and actually asking me for advice then I'd tell them. Other than that it's none of anyones business.