The Disease to Please: or how I lack the ability to say 'No'

[lindata 1]

I'd prefer to just STOP taking custom jobs PERIOD!!

I want to make WHAT I want, in the size I want, out of the fabric I want and then sell it online. If no one purchases it, then I'll donate it somewhere!!

I'm tired of having other people dictate what my handiwork is worth!:tired

Amen to that! Handiwork never gets paid what it's worth. I used to do a lot of stained glass and never got paid what it was worth - so I quit! I'm a lot happier now. You should just do what YOU want to do for YOURSELF, whatever makes you happy.

[wombat712 2]

Definitely tell her!! You might get lucky and she backs out (woohoo)!!

I have the same disease and it is SOOOOOOO hard to say no!!

Can you post a link to your website? I would love to see what you have made. I love to sew as well but I am no good at clothing.

Good luck!!

wombat

[Marimaru 7]

Definitely tell her!! You might get lucky and she backs out (woohoo)!!

I have the same disease and it is SOOOOOOO hard to say no!!

Can you post a link to your website? I would love to see what you have made. I love to sew as well but I am no good at clothing.

Good luck!!

wombat

I agree, and I wanna see what you make too!

[Ang1982 4]

I'm kind of torn on this subject, while I do agree that you should be compensated for the extra work I also have to agree with the person that said you should have said that ahead of time. The lady agreed to the price that you gave her and when she gave you the picture is when you should have told her that it will be extra cost and even if you couldn't determine that at the time you could have ballparked it then she would have had the choice to say either a) go ahead with it or no thank you.

Now to say "oh by the way that will be an extra X number of dollars" is pretty poor business. While I am a pushover to saying no as well, she did agree to pay a certain amount for your service and you cannot afterwards arbitrarily decide to change the price. In the future you can use this as a learning experience to let people know ahead of time it will cost extra. Not to mention you are cutting close to the time of when she will need them (if it is for holiday weddings) and have not given her much option of deciding to shop elsewhere or have any one else make them for her.

Should you be compensated for extra work? You bet. But in this case, I think the window of opportunity for that has passed. If you took your car in to be serviced or custom ordered a cake or whatever and was told it will be $40.00 at the time you purchased it you fully expect to pay $40.00 not come back to pick up your merchandise and be told "oh by the way that will be an extra $150.00 because we had to use special icing for your cake". That just doesn't fly.

Not meaning to sound harsh but charging her more after an already agreed upon service and price is pretty shady.

[anonemouse 1]

I'm kind of torn on this subject, while I do agree that you should be compensated for the extra work I also have to agree with the person that said you should have said that ahead of time. The lady agreed to the price that you gave her and when she gave you the picture is when you should have told her that it will be extra cost and even if you couldn't determine that at the time you could have ballparked it then she would have had the choice to say either a) go ahead with it or no thank you.

Now to say "oh by the way that will be an extra X number of dollars" is pretty poor business. While I am a pushover to saying no as well, she did agree to pay a certain amount for your service and you cannot afterwards arbitrarily decide to change the price. In the future you can use this as a learning experience to let people know ahead of time it will cost extra. Not to mention you are cutting close to the time of when she will need them (if it is for holiday weddings) and have not given her much option of deciding to shop elsewhere or have any one else make them for her.

Should you be compensated for extra work? You bet. But in this case, I think the window of opportunity for that has passed. If you took your car in to be serviced or custom ordered a cake or whatever and was told it will be $40.00 at the time you purchased it you fully expect to pay $40.00 not come back to pick up your merchandise and be told "oh by the way that will be an extra $150.00 because we had to use special icing for your cake". That just doesn't fly.

Not meaning to sound harsh but charging her more after an already agreed upon service and price is pretty shady.

I totally agree. Unfortunately, I think the time to tell her about the price increase has already passed. That should have been done back when you first knew that all you had to go on was a picture. But, on the upside, you can use it as a learning experience and let your future clients know that they can either give you the pattern that they want or they have to pay an extra fee if you have to do all the legwork yourself.

[green 6]

My Cdn five cents worth, eh: yah, you probably should have advised her of your surcharges (Canadian)/upcharges (American) before you became involved in this business with her...BUT, so what, eh!

The simple truth is that you are feeling very stressed by her admittedly very unfair demands on your skills and time and you are not anxious to retain her business. You view her as someone who is using you and you are undoubtedly right. At the same time you may be feeling a little bit pissy because you have undervalued your own worth by not being sufficiently assertive. (Ahem - Mean Green has often worn the same t-shirt.)

My advice to you would be to go bold: explain to her that while you really did want to cut her a special deal this is simply proving to be impossible. Tell her that the research in which you have found yourself engaged with respect to both the biz of pattern and of fabrics has been a real challenge. Explain to her that although you had been hoping to cut her a deal you find that you are unable to do this, that it would be unfair to you, to your family, and to your many other customers. Then present her with a list of the surcharges (Cdn) or upcharges (American) and let her figure it out.

Seems to me that she will either bail or pay: either way you will be ahead of the game. Good lucky, grrl. Keep us posted.

[NanaRenan 0]

If you took your car in to be serviced or custom ordered a cake or whatever and was told it will be $40.00 at the time you purchased it you fully expect to pay $40.00 not come back to pick up your merchandise and be told "oh by the way that will be an extra $150.00 because we had to use special icing for your cake". That just doesn't fly.

I'm sorry, but that make me snicker...cause that kind of stuff happens on a regular basis, at least to me and my husband it does.

An example -- we do a guest reception at our church every Sunday morning. I went in to the dry cleaners week after week with four identical tablecloths and it was $26 + change.

The seasons changed so I got four NEW tablecloths and the first time they were cleaned it was over $40! My husband picked it up and paid, but I went back in to find out why. One of the cloths was a few inches longer.

BUT TWO OTHERS WERE SHORTER!!!!! I pointed out. The guy turned his screen around to show me his price listing.

(I'd bought them on a clearance rack and sizes didn't make much difference to what we use them for.) I didn't argue with the man, I just pointed out that in addition to the $100+ a month I was spending on the cloths, we spent nearly that much on our personal clothing in his establishment as well. It seemed to not make any difference in his mind.

So, I could cut off and hem the one offending cloth so I can keep paying the $26. OR, I can just wash and Iron them at home. And look for a different dry cleaners for my clothing.

What do you think I did??

And back to the dress in question. We did not agree on a price at the beginning. When I asked, I quoted $75 MINIMUM, to 'sew' a formal, depending on how elaborate it was, it could be more. She wanted me to copy/design-from-scratch a dress AND sew it.

And she's free to walk away from the deal. I bought the material, so techincally the dress is ALL mine. The only thing I have from her is the magazine ad and her measurements. She's lost nothing -- except the extra time to search for a replacement.

PLUS -- she's my daughter's nail tech, so its highly likely we'll barter it out in services anyhow. So she won't be HURT by a $25 increase. Besides, I used frequent customer coupons she wouldn't have access to and saved her more than $25 on the cost of the fabric.

[Ang1982 4]

Yikes! That is very crazy and I'm assuming you went with the option of washing them yourself and finding a new establishment to take your cleaning to because you didn't like the fact that they charged you more then you were used to paying/expected? And I'm sure we are not the only place that you have told this to am I right? Basically what I am getting at is - if you don't care if she chooses to use your services again ... for every person who tells one other of a good experience they usually tell ten others of a bad one.

But, since you didn't agree on a price in the beginning (sorry if I missed you saying that in your original post) then I hope you can get the money from her that you most definitely deserve! And she should be so lucky to have you make a dress for her as I'm sure it will be lovely! =)

[Ang1982 4]

Oh, and please don't take any of this as me attacking you or anything of the sort because that is not the case. Everyone was very supportive of you in their posts and in much agreement that I couldn't help but throw in my 2 cents as I, unfortunately, did not agree with them at all. I am however supportive of the fact that yes you should get compensated for doing all the leg work, etc. it was more the timing/circumstances of it all that raised my silly eyebrows. I do hate to see people taking advantage of good people and their skills!

Keep us posted on how everything turns out! And I think another couple people asked if you had a website? I don't recall seeing a response however would be excited to see it as well if you do!

[NanaRenan 0]

Oh, and please don't take any of this as me attacking you or anything of the sort because that is not the case. Everyone was very supportive of you in their posts and in much agreement that I couldn't help but throw in my 2 cents as I, unfortunately, did not agree with them at all. I am however supportive of the fact that yes you should get compensated for doing all the leg work, etc. it was more the timing/circumstances of it all that raised my silly eyebrows. I do hate to see people taking advantage of good people and their skills!

Keep us posted on how everything turns out! And I think another couple people asked if you had a website? I don't recall seeing a response however would be excited to see it as well if you do!

Don't worry, I didn't feel attacked, because I knew ya'll are only hearing part of the overall story. I've been given $hort $hrift often enough as a consumer that I would never take advantage of someone. It's a personal thing -- my husband has hated my sewing for years, because he felt like I never charged enough for what it was worth. I'm sure there are all sorts of self-esteem issues in there.

And you're right -- I did forget to discuss a website! I have my domain name, but haven't yet built the website. I will probably sell on eBay for a while until I get some inventory built up. I was just starting to work on it when my daughter and her family decided to relocate here after the new baby so I've been busy keeping him for the last 18 months.

I already have an eBay store -- Nana-Renan's eBay Store -- right now all I have in it is greeting cards that I make. I'm going to sell some fat clothes through there and start making things new items to market through there, but I'll be sure to let ya'll know when I add any new stuff to it. I also have some "old" cards posted in my pics on Nana Renan's MySpace and soon I'll be putting up photos of some of the sewing I've done, too, including the dress that started this thread!

(I hope those links work!)

[NanaRenan 0]

Looks like the eBay one didn't work -- maybe this will.

eBay Store - Nana Renan's: Category 1

[anonemouse 1]

Looks like the eBay one didn't work -- maybe this will.

eBay Store - Nana Renan's: Category 1

Those are great!