"I think you're overdoing it"

[mousecat88 2,280]

A few people lately have told me I am exercising too much. Going to the gym and taking classes is something I love doing now. I don't go multiple times a day. I feel healthy and fit. But several people really close to me have expressed "concern" that I've transferred my food addiction to an addiction to exercise and I am overdoing it and using it as a new coping mechanism. These people never said a word to me when I was literally eating myself to death. I don't know how to feel. I don't feel like I am overdoing the exercise - I give myself time to rest and work different muscle groups each time or alternate with cardio. I am kinda angry that now these people are giving me a hard time about something I feel is actually bettering me physically and emotionally, when they sat idly and watched me eat bags and bags of fast food and gain 150lbs in the last 9 years and never expressed any concern over that. Today I hit 130lbs down in less than 9 months and I'm well on my way to my personal goal weight well before my one year anniversary. I am finally proud of myself and confident and angry that these people aren't happy for me and are now telling me I am taking things to the extreme.

I was about to apologize for the rant, but realized I'm in the right forum. LOL.

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[mousecat88 2,280]

Like, what is so wrong with using exercise and fitness as a coping mechanism for stress and self-esteem of you aren't doing it to the point of injuring yourself or making yourself sick? It's a new hobby... get over it.

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[NYJenn 1,463]

What’s your exercise routine like?

[GreenTealael 25,336]

Nothing is wrong with positive coping skills they help immensely but an addiction even when it's not a harmful thing is still not desirable.

(I can't remain healthy and completely reliant on BBC or Scifi as my mood stabilizer 😂)

Only you would know if its true or not, but the people close to you , who truly know and care for you, may have insight you do not so don't discount their worries. Self assess and seek help if you need it.

I say enjoy the gym if it gives you pleasure 💜

[demayome 51]

3 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

Like, what is so wrong with using exercise and fitness as a coping mechanism for stress and self-esteem of you aren't doing it to the point of injuring yourself or making yourself sick? It's a new hobby... get over it.

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I am sorry that you are having to deal with something like this. I would think you would be getting support. I totally understand your frustration. I would be upset too. I think exercise is a wonderful coping mechanism. It helps relieve stress, it keeps you healthy, it helps clear your mind and it makes you feel good. What do they think you are coping from? I have the addiction gene in my blood, so I know all about wrong coping mechanisms. We all have life, and emotional stuff that we deal with. No matter how much exercise you do, if there are things you need to deal with they will still be there. Maybe they are just not used to the new you? They don't know what to think or how to take it. As long as you are staying on your plan and exercising in a healthy manner, I wouldn't worry too much. Just let them know that this is the new healthy you and of course if you are dealing with anything else take care of that too.

[AZhiker 2,252]

4 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

Like, what is so wrong with using exercise and fitness as a coping mechanism for stress and self-esteem of you aren't doing it to the point of injuring yourself or making yourself sick? It's a new hobby... get over it.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

"It's a new hobby..." I like that. think of the time people spend on their pets, shopping, bird watching, cruising, wood working, pottery,...……. all kinds of hobbies that take lots of time, but bring immense joy and satisfaction to one's life. Sooooooo much better to have an exercise "addiction" than transferring to gambling, shopping sprees, alcohol/drugs. As long as you are doing it sensibly and getting pleasure (all the great endorphins from exercise instead of food!) - go for it!

[gabybab 696]

I agree with you. I would be outraged that they didn't care before you lost the weight. Just today my sil stopped by and commented I was getting skinny. Hardly, I have 85 pounds to go. I hate her making a fuss over it.

A story I must tell. My son whom is 35 and a body builder. He took his fitness to extremes and still does. He does worry me because he takes steroids and ended up with chf when he was about 21. They thought he had a heart attack. This lifestyle is unhealthy for him, imho. If you are enjoying it and it keeps you occupied and on the right track I say go for it and tell them to not worry about it, or even say it like you told us. Honesty will get them to back off. Enjoy your hard earned weightloss and new found passion!

[KCgirl061 1,532]

As long as you're giving yourself the nutrients you need - Protein for muscle rebuilding, carbs for keeping enough energy - I wouldnt think there is a problem! And I agree with the other commenters, I'd be irritated as well if it were me!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Transfer to anything is a bad thing. I think the key question to differentiate transfer or "new hobby" is to answer this question:

"How's your head?"

And by that I mean, do you allow yourself to "feel" and process emotions? Do you allow yourself the freedom to get mad, sad, angry, lonely, and tired and not try to stuff those feelings down when they surface? Or, when those emotions surface, do you try to displace them with busyness or activity (ie working out).

I think the exercise by itself doesn't signal an issue, even when you are doing it every day. It doesn't signal a transferrance. As @GreenTealael said, it goes to motivation and only you can answer that. There are plenty of fabulous athletes now who were pre-surgical MO peeps. And they fell in love with the gym life and the strengthening and body building, fitness improvements. No harm in falling in love with health! As long as the motivation is good and as long as you allow yourself to process thoughts and emotions.

And experience your anger, grieve through it and then dump the garbage bag on the curb and move through it. Life is too short to go through it pis*ed off. It only hurts us. ((hugs))

Edited July 30, 2019 by FluffyChix

[mousecat88 2,280]

It is super frustrating to me because it's a great way to relieve stress from the work day, or just stress in general. I FEEL better physically and emotionally due to exercise. I have goals I am working towards (I am taking a course to become a certified personal trainer currently). I take a spin class twice a week, yoga a few times a week, and my trainer is on leave for a few months, so I am doing weights at home twice a week. I still go out and do other things; I just prefer being in the gym or outside doing something active. I feel like if these people who are close to me are supposedly so insightful, where was that insightfulness the last 9 years when I was killing myself with garbage food? I dunno. I meet my nutrient goals, aside from carbs but I am working on it... that's just a mental hurdle I need to overcome personally. I wish they would feel happy that I've finally found something I enjoy that isn't just sitting on my sofa, binge watching TV, and eating nonstop... which was seriously my entire life throughout my 20s.

[mousecat88 2,280]

No one has said "oh you're too skinny" or anything yet... but my mother in particular is like "what are you going to do when you DO reach your goal weight and you still haven't found 'balance'". She sees it as me going from a food addiction to an exercise addiction. I don't know if she is concerned I will lose TOO much weight or go overboard and get sickly or what. But she does feel like I spend too much time being active now which I find really absurd. I'm sure it is a shock to see someone go from being a sedentary lump to being active... but I definitely don't think I am TOO active. A coworker keeps warning me about "her friend" who became anorexic post-op and weighed like 85lbs and had to be hospitalized. At first everyone was super supportive... but now as I get close to the "finish line", people are warning me of all these things that "they've seen happen".

Edited July 30, 2019 by mousecat88

[GreenTealael 25,336]

52 minutes ago, mousecat88 said:

No one has said "oh you're too skinny" or anything yet... but my mother in particular is like "what are you going to do when you DO reach your goal weight and you still haven't found 'balance'". She sees it as me going from a food addiction to an exercise addiction. I don't know if she is concerned I will lose TOO much weight or go overboard and get sickly or what. But she does feel like I spend too much time being active now which I find really absurd. I'm sure it is a shock to see someone go from being a sedentary lump to being active... but I definitely don't think I am TOO active. A coworker keeps warning me about "her friend" who became anorexic post-op and weighed like 85lbs and had to be hospitalized. At first everyone was super supportive... but now as I get close to the "finish line", people are warning me of all these things that "they've seen happen".

Did you have a response for her?

[mousecat88 2,280]

2 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

Did you have a response for her?

I don't know what she means when "I haven't found a balance". SHE feels like I have transferred from one addiction to another. Since I don't feel that way, I already feel like I have balance in my life and have no answer to give. She doesn't accept that so... there's nothing I can say.

[summerset 5,265]

9 minutes ago, mousecat88 said:

I don't know what she means when "I haven't found a balance". SHE feels like I have transferred from one addiction to another.

So how much do you exercise? So far you haven't posted any time spans.

[mousecat88 2,280]

4 minutes ago, summerset said:

So how much do you exercise? So far you haven't posted any time spans.

Sorry, I posted my exercises in a paragraph above. It's changed a bit since my trainer left so I am on my own...
Monday - Spin class

Tuesday - 30 minute weights (Jillian Michaels DVD)

Wednesday - Either a yoga class or a spin class

Thursday - Rest or yoga or 30 minutes of weights - just depending on how I feel

Friday - Rest

Saturday - Spin class and yoga class

Sunday - Spin class

That's all.

Edited July 30, 2019 by mousecat88