Sleep Apnea worries, child mad I’m getting the surgery...words of advice/encouragement needed

[Cherylmilla 160]

I went to my appointment today, my first. I have sleep apnea and gigantic tonsils. Worried about the Endoscopy almost as much as the surgery. Anyone in the same boat that’s had it (I’m just a tad bit of a hypochondriac...🤦🏼‍♀️). Just looking for reassurance. Also, they said we can go through with the surgery, if all is well, in 3 months. It’s so quick. My son’s having a hard time and mad that I’m doing the sleeve. Says just diet and exercise. I’m 40 and struggled my entire life. He’ll be 18 and lost his dad when he was 8, so there is fear of losing me. I fear that but I fear he will if I don’t do this! I want to live a long life. I had a hard life with his dad (who died by suicide) and I’ve been blessed with a wonderful new husband and my beautiful son. I want to live, that’s why I am doing this. I wish I could lose the traditional way and keep it off. Ugg 😢

[New&Improved 1,780]

He'll live with it just give it time it's your life

[MLB357 58]

Lot of educational stuff online about bariatric surgeries, YouTube has some great videos describing the surgeries step by step. Maybe you can watch one together or perhaps take him with you to next doctor visit and he can ask questions to the surgeon and staff

As for the Endoscopy the hospital should be prepare for all possible situations. most are i am assuming. Ask the questions who , what , where and how until you're comfortable with the procedure. By even concerning the surgery you have taken some control of your life, don't stop now. ask questions ....good luck

"you got this "

[gabybab 696]

My son was a vocal opponent of my surgery. My son had body issues when he was young. He was a bit stocky and was teased. Today he is 35 and has dedicated his life to making his body something to be envied by most people. He told me the same thing, to just diet. But, when you weigh over 300 pounds, it is not that easy. Your son will get on board once he sees your able to lose weight and keep it off. It is not easy all the time, but, I would do it over again. Zero regret!💯

Edited July 25, 2019 by gabybab

[GradyCat 3,695]

I had sleep Apnea and went through both endoscopy and sleeve surgery just fine, no problems. But guess what? 3 months after WLS I had lost enough weight to no longer have Sleep Apnea. It's normal for a child to worry about his parent underdoing any type of surgery. Reassure him with the favorable statistics out there and tell him about this forum with thousands of people who successfully underwent the surgery.

[NYJenn 1,463]

I’ve heard it’s safer then hip replacement, look up some stats and show him how safe it is

[Chiptress 327]

I also have sleep apnea & copd. I had endoscopy 2 days ago. No issues what so ever!

[Cherylmilla 160]

Thank you all. I told my job this morning and they were super cool and supportive. I may not get my son onboard. I’ll keep trying. This group is great, I’m glad I found this site!

[336Mike 549]

You need to do this to be healthy. And if you're healthy there's a higher likelihood you'll be around for your son many years from now.

I struggled with diet and excersize for a gazillion years. The light bulb moment for me, when I was thinking about backing out of surgery, was the psychologist telling me what makes me think what I've tried over and over is going to be any different this time? He was right. Them and there I knew in my heart I need the tool know as sleeve. And it's worked!!!

Good luck on your journey to be healthier!

HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 reached 3/7/18
CW = 210 @ 6'5"
150 pounds lost! [emoji106]

[Cherylmilla 160]

5 minutes ago, 336Mike said:

You need to do this to be healthy. And if you're healthy there's a higher likelihood you'll be around for your son many years from now.

I struggled with diet and excersize for a gazillion years. The light bulb moment for me, when I was thinking about backing out of surgery, was the psychologist telling me what makes me think what I've tried over and over is going to be any different this time? He was right. Them and there I knew in my heart I need the tool know as sleeve. And it's worked!!!

Good luck on your journey to be healthier!

HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 reached 3/7/18
CW = 210 @ 6'5"
150 pounds lost!

You’re absolutely right on all points. I’m not thinking of backing out; I’m scared, but that’s natural. I keep telling him it’s for us all. Nice job on the weight loss too! Seeing everyone’s success gives me hope.

[ypease 177]

Does your husband and son have a good relationship together? My 3 adult sons love their stepdaddy. In many ways, he has been a better father than their biodad. Of course, I would have never married him if my sons would not have approved, even though 2 of them were of age. If their relationship is good, discuss with your husband what you want to happen if anything should happen to you. Then speak with your son and see what he wants to see happen. Then all of you have a family meeting and discuss the issue. Make sure everyone's concerns are addressed, and an agreement is reached. This may relieve some of his abandonment issues.

Of course you should address your desire to live a longer and healthier life with him, but I'm willing to bet that topic has been discussed already. I also agree that education on the topic is key and he may just not understand the procedure. Does your son know how much you will be leaning on him for his support after the surgery? This will be his chance to reverse roles and make "you" accountable for your behavior! That may be a tempting side effect as well.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing more of you here!

[Sandra Nuelken 419]

21 hours ago, gabybab said:

My son was a vocal opponent of my surgery. My son had body issues when he was young. He was a bit stocky and was teased. Today he is 35 and has dedicated his life to making his body something to be envied by most people. He told me the same thing, to just diet. But, when you weigh over 300 pounds, it is not that easy. Your son will get on board once he sees your able to lose weight and keep it off. It is not easy all the time, but, I would do it over again. Zero regret!💯

There is a big difference between your age and your son's. When you are hitting over 300 pounds, been there done that, exercise is not really effective. Had a friend who tried it and ended up replacing knees, rotators because of the stress. You are doing what is best for you and what will make you healthy. You don't need his permission and he doesn't have to give it. Think only what is best for you and then do it. Your son will eventually come around. Have him do some research and he will find out that without this 90% of the people who use exercise and diet alone regain.